


Light In The Darkness

by raisedtokeepquiet



Category: Eurovision Song Contest RPF, Festival di Sanremo RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - 19th Century, Alternate Universe - Historical, Lighthouses, M/M, Moments of fluff, Nightmares, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slow Burn, Survivor Guilt, i guess
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-03
Updated: 2020-04-07
Packaged: 2020-04-10 03:13:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 71,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19077913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raisedtokeepquiet/pseuds/raisedtokeepquiet
Summary: It's somewhere in the 19th century, and Ermal has found his place in the world: He's living on a small island where he tends the lighthouse. It is a lonely life, with other people coming by only once a month to bring him new supplies to live on. It's a monotonous life, where seasons blur into each other in a haze of wind and water. But then, one day, something unexpected happens.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Light In The Darkness](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22114105) by [nightconfessions](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nightconfessions/pseuds/nightconfessions)



> I'm back! A new idea, a new fic! I hope you like it! 
> 
> My thanks go to all the people I was allowed to bother with my ideas and incessant rambling about this, asking them what would be better, water pumps or water wells, wondering how boats work, wondering when countless things were invented. Really, thank you for your enthusiasm that made this fic finally see the light of day :) Special thanks go to Tsveta, for designing the house and the lighthouse for me <3 and to Julia, for making me the most amazing birthday present, and for naming the sheep :)
> 
> If you like it, please leave a comment, I'd love to know your thoughts on this!

The sea gulls shrieked as they glided past on their broad wings. In the low orange light of the sun, they threw large shadows on the tower. Ermal ignored them. He was used to them. He ran a hand through his curls, which were coarse from the salt, the salt that was _everywhere_ , and checked whether all parts of the light were as they should be. Then he clicked the lamp back into place, he just had to give the wick a short trim tonight, and could then light it. He watched the light flicker through the glass, even though it was really too bright to look at directly with the reflector. Still, with the light burning, it meant another night of doing his job right.

He went to the railing of the tower, staring out over the water far below him, the water surrounding him on all sides. The sun wasn’t completely down yet, and usually he wouldn’t light the light this early, in his opinion it was better to save the oil. Tonight, though, he had somehow lost track of time, and he wasn’t quite sure if he would make it on time if he first completed all other chores. So first the light, and now the chores, he could finish them in the twilight. Besides, it was a clear night, the stars and the waning moon would help too.

The waves were calm tonight, a steady breeze in the air, but nothing like the storm that had passed by last week. Then it had been a hard job to turn the light on, the wind shrieking around the tower, making the flame flicker as it seeped in to some cracks that really should have been too small to matter. But Ermal knew that with the storm it was also important to have the light on steady and strong. The wind and powerful currents would take unsuspecting seamen from their planned course, and the light of the lighthouse would show them were they were, and warn them of the treacherous coast around here. Ermal loved the sea, but he was no stranger to how quickly the waves could turn on you, betraying you when you thought they would stay tranquil.

He made his way down the ladder, then the spiralling stairs until he found himself at the bottom of the lighthouse, pushing open the wooden door and stepping outside. The flashing light – two flashes every three seconds – was a comfort in the dusk, it was almost like a heartbeat, the only heartbeat to join him here on this island, not counting the animals.

There weren’t many of them, animals, beside the wild ones that came and went as they pleased, though of course those were mostly the flying kind – or fish. On the island, he was pretty sure, there weren’t many animals with means of leaving. He himself just had the chickens, that he checked on now. He had five of them, and they were all in the coop for the night. Good. Not that it mattered much, the advantage of this island in the middle of nowhere was the absence of any predators like foxes. Still, out of habit, Ermal closed the coop at night and he would open it again early in the morning. He liked his chickens. He had found them surprisingly nice company, they clucked at him when he talked to them. He had given them names. Lia. Mira. Rinald. Sabina. Marco. Maybe he should be ashamed of it, but it did get rather lonely on the island, and like this he could keep his loved ones close in a way. Besides, he had heard far more crazy stories about his fellow light keepers. There was a line to cross, and he was far from it still.

After checking on the chickens he went to find the other animal he kept. He went to the shed and whistled, filling up Fjolla’s trough, though she knew exactly when it was time for food and was lingering close by. Ermal sometimes wondered what a sheep was doing here on the island, but she had been living here when he arrived, now about two years ago, and the only thing that he had been told was that the previous lighthouse keeper had bottle-fed her when she was a lamb and had been fond of her. Why you would bring a little lamb to an island, Ermal had no idea, but by now, he was used to her, and more than once had welcomed her presence. She had enough personality to make up for some of the loneliness on the island.

Two years. That’s how long it had been since he had accepted this position as lighthouse keeper on the most remote island he had ever seen. A kilometre wide, barely two long, that was his home now. The side towards the mainland came with black, stony beaches, a pier stretching out into the water to allow boats to dock, though after the winter, large parts of it needed replacing. It still did its job, but Ermal would need to make some repairs soon, and he made a mental note of that. This side of the island was a good place for landing, the waves being calmer there on there than when coming from open sea. Towards the other sides of the island, the pebbles grew into rocks and boulders and larger still. The shore facing the wide-open ocean consisted of steep rocks and cliff faces, where no one but the seabirds could go.

The island itself sloped upwards from those beaches, until it came to a rocky plateau, for the most part surprisingly flat, with a comfortable space for the lighthouse itself and the little house adjoining it. Then there were the outbuildings, the workplace, the storage rooms, the shed, the chicken coop and Fjolla’s stable, all placed around in a circle to form some kind of inner yard. The buildings managed to keep the worst of the salty breeze out, and in the yard there was a vegetable patch and some struggling berry bushes. In a way it resembled a cozy little farm, though that was only appearances. This land did not like to be farmed.

Then there was a grassy plane where Fjolla usually could be found, three large trees providing some shelter and shade in summer. It was a miracle how they had grown here, tall as they were, but the way they leaned to the off-wind side showed that their existence here was far from easy. There were some more scraggly bushes here and there, with more thorns than leaves, and some younger trees, nothing like the ones on the field, and Ermal could only hope they would survive to live as tall as those.

Ermal had seen the posting for lighthouse keeper, he had applied, and he had been offered it. If he was honest, he knew he had been looking for a place where he could disappear, where life’s demands, where people’s demands, would cease to call on his every minute, and he sometimes wondered how he had managed to convince anyone he would be a capable lighthouse keeper, when his wishes did so blatantly not line up with what would be expected of him here.

He was, though, capable. Since he had set foot on the island, all his since then, he had felt at home there. Of course, it was partially the sea, calling to him from every side, whispering he was safe here, murmuring its company, but there was more than that. The loneliness, the nature around him had given him time to think, his job had given him a sense of purpose, and he found that he _liked_ it. After his first three months, the time agreed upon as a trial, he knew he didn’t want to leave. He wanted to stay here, on this windswept island, with no one but some animals for company. He swept away all comments of the men checking up on him, who told him that he could go to shore for a few days, because he didn’t want to. He wanted to stay right here, in his own little world.

Of course, it hadn’t been like that right away. On second thoughts, which he had had as soon as the boat that brought him to the island had left him alone for the first time. It was a crazy decision, and his a daunting task. He had been looking for a place to disappear, but this was not it. He was looking for somewhere where the demands on his shoulders would lessen, but they had only grown. He was the sole person responsible for the light, turning it on at night, extinguishing it in the morning. The thought of it was overwhelming sometimes, especially in the beginning. What would the consequences be if he faltered, if he failed? It was a high responsibility that he had taken up.

He had heard the stories of these coasts, how the rocks seemed to move, how currents appeared to change on a whim of the sea, even the fanciful stories of sirens luring men to their deaths – sirens there were not, but the sea had claimed its victims. Up and down the coast, shipwrecks were still visible at low tide. The tragedies had lessened with the lighthouse in place, a modern and powerful light on top, but had not disappeared completely, and the stories were still told on winter nights.

The light came with other responsibilities than simply lighting it. Ermal had to take care of the mechanism, trimming the wick regularly, replacing it when it burned down too low. He had to top up the oil to make sure the fire would burn through the night. Then he had to clean the parts of the lamp, carefully clicking it open so he could reach the inner parts. It had to be cleaned, as the greasy soot tended to stain the reflector and the coloured glass cover badly. The cleaning was at least as important as the light itself, as seamen used the colour of the glass to determine their position, and the light needed to carry far and wide across the sea to prevent any more wrecks.

It was a harsh environment, and any thoughts he might have had before setting foot on the island of how lighthouse keeper would be an easy job had disappeared quickly when he noticed how the incessant wind, water, and salt attacked everything. Ermal had to repair it all, sooner than seemed possible. He never reached the end of his to-do list, parts of buildings and tools and equipment breaking right when he fixed something else.

Another task, though not as taxing as the rest of chores that came with keeping the light, were the endless reports he had to write. The weather, the sea, ships passing by, break-downs and repairments… Everything had to be noted down, in case it ever had to be looked up again. The top room of the lighthouse contained ledgers and ledgers of notes, years and years of notes.

Besides all that, of course there was just the work to live, to turn this shelter into a proper home. Water needed to be gotten from the water pump, a fire kept going in the kitchen, food needed to be prepared, clothes needed to be washed and dried, the animals fed and taken care of, the vegetable patch watered and weeded, the fish traps emptied, any excess food needed to be preserved…

It really was a miracle that he actually had time for himself. Of course, in summer it helped that the days were longer, more light to fill with chores and tasks and fun things. In winter the list of chores was just a little shorter, no garden to manage, for example. In his living room he had a shelf filled with books, he knew it was madness, hauling them here on a small boat, keeping them in the damp, he knew that even if he hadn’t seen the looks the men who helped him threw at the crates. But he liked to read, he liked the adventures, the way he could be transported to other places, other lives. If he was to spend his time here alone, the books were his one indulgence.

So he read. He played his accordion. He wrote letters to his family and friends. He wrote his thoughts down in diaries lining one of his shelves. He knit, occasionally getting new patterns from his grandmother. He easily managed to fill the empty hours he found, which sometimes meant he had rather little sleep before he had to get up to extinguish the light again.

That had to be done though, ideally around the time that the first rays of the sun peeked over the horizon. Again, the oil, he didn’t want to waste it. He did have some emergency stores, but his connection to the rest of the world was a precarious one.

Once a month, a boat came by to check on him, and to bring him new supplies. The men, friends, he could call them by now, Andrea and Dino, took his wish list for the next month, delivered letters that had arrived for him and took the ones he had written. They would share a pipe and discuss the things that had happened in the world in the past month. Ermal would catch glimpses of all the things that passed him by, new inventions, new troubles, new people in town, people who had passed away. Soon, far too soon, they would leave again, their journey to the shore taking hours, and it would take another month before Ermal saw another human being again. In winter, Andrea and Dino would often spend the night, their journey was an easier one in light than in the dark of night, and they appreciated a chance to warm up when they arrived with Ermal’s new supplies.

Somehow, the loneliness was the worst the day after they had left. The day itself, Ermal was busy tallying his supplies, putting them away in their proper place. Then the lonely night came, where he forced himself to do the chores, and sleep, allowing himself to open his letters only the next day. In the first months that he’d been on the island, he had tried to pace himself, granting himself a letter every few days, but that plan had quickly disappeared. Now he just waited until that first day of the new month, that first lonely day, with the other people’s voices and laughter fresh in his mind, when the howling wind just sounded hollow. He would sit in his rocking chair and open the letters, one by one, reading them, rereading them, allowing himself to feel the absence of his mother, his siblings, his grandmother, his friends. The feeling would pass, as days went by, and slowly he would go back to enjoying his life, alone on the island.

He did have a small rowing boat himself, you wouldn’t trap a man on an island without any means to get away if necessary, but he knew that it wasn’t really made to cross the distance to the shore. It could, maybe, in the right circumstances, or when the need was high enough, but generally he was supposed to stay. Rowing to shore took so long that he would not make it back in time for dark, even if he had the strength to make that journey twice in one day. No, stay, and tend the light. Those were his duties.

He had lost much of the light, as he stood there lost in thought, letting his hands go through Fjolla’s rough woollen coat. Now that spring was coming up, he should have an attempt to shear her soon, though maybe it was better to wait a little more. Weather this early in the season was unpredictable, and she would no doubt be glad for the warmth it gave her when another storm struck. Besides, he remembered last year, where he had found out that it was either impossible to shear a sheep on your own, or he was just spectacularly bad at it. Maybe he could wait for Andrea and Dino, and convince them to help him with the job.

Still, light or no light, he really didn’t want to go into the house yet. Today had been a nice day, the weather calmer than it had been in a while and the air filled with sunshine and a promise of warmer months to come. The evening wasn’t different, and he wanted to enjoy it, breathe in the air, and not be stuck inside the house where he had already spent so much time this winter.

Ermal knew this island, and he could make his way around, also in gray darkness like this. His feet led him around, finally towards the beach. It wasn’t really a surprise, it was one of his favourite places of the island. Here where the land and sea really met, joining and shaping each other, he liked that. It wasn’t like the cliffs that had their stand-offish beauty, where sheer drops led from rock to water, where caution was always the first thing on his mind. On the beach it was different, there he could enjoy both elements.

Ermal stood there, the flashes of the lighthouse reflected on the water as he stared out over the waves. Even though it was the same sea, it looked so different from up close than from the top of the tower. The colours were different, the shape of the waves seemed different. Up there, they were distant and endless, made to be admired from afar, but here, standing on the pebbles, it was different. Here, the waves were calm, lapping towards his feet but not quite reaching them. Here, the waves reminded him of when he had first seen the sea, a summer day so many years ago. Here, they were made to loved from close by. Ermal couldn’t quite wait for the weather to improve enough that he could swim again. He had missed that, over the cold months that were finally ending.

Or, he hoped they were, because there was still a chill in the air that told him the sun of today did not mean that spring was here to stay, winter had not yet released its grip on the world completely. Goose bumps started on his arms, and Ermal was just about to go back inside, stoke up the fire, and make himself some tea, when he noticed something out of the ordinary.

His eyes had been roaming the sea for the last looks before turning his back on it for the day, and the waves were normal enough, steady and incessantly rolling onto the beach, moving the smallest pebbles with a clear babbling sound. The waves were not what had caught his eye.

There, on the border of land and sea, interrupting the pattern of the waves, was a black shape that usually wasn’t there. It puzzled Ermal’s mind for a moment, but then he connected the dots, for the shape itself was well-known enough.

A boat. The shape was a boat. There was a boat on his beach.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a boat on Ermal's island. Why? How? Is there anybody in the boat? Let's find out.

Ermal approached the boat as quickly as he could without twisting an ankle on the loose pebbles, with each step an new thought occupying his brain. Why was there a boat? Would there be anyone in it? Then who? Why? How? From where?

He didn’t have any answers, though as he came closer, he could distinguish more and more. The boat was a small one, that was clear to see. The type seemed familiar to Ermal, but he hadn’t seen it much here on the coast. Rather, it reminded him of the small boats used to carry goods on rivers and small lakes, meant for shorter distances and calmer waters. So what was it doing here on the island, out in nothing but open sea on all sides?

As he came closer, he noticed a man, hard to make out in the darkness, who was standing on the beach, trying to pull the boat further onto the pebbles. It seemed a hard job for just one man.

There was movement in the boat as well, Ermal noticed then, more people, maybe?

“Can I help you?” Ermal called out when he was just a few strides away from the man. Even in the darkness, it was easy to recognize his look of relief when the man noticed Ermal.

“Please, my children,” he managed, still pulling on the rope attached to the boat, though it didn’t move much.

Now that he was next to him, Ermal could see that everything about the man screamed tiredness. What he could also see, were the children the man had mentioned, there were two of them in the boat, a young boy staring up at Ermal with wide eyes, and the head of an even younger girl resting in his lap.

First, Ermal helped the man pull the boat an extra meter or so onto the pebbles, and then climbed into it, the flat hull making it stable at least, lying on the beach like this.

“She’s ill,” the man said, when Ermal moved to pick up the girl. He made it out onto the beach again, and the boy scrambled up too, helped out of the boat by the man.

“Come, let’s get you inside the house, warm and dry,” Ermal said, and started to lead the way. The man didn’t follow immediately, lingering with a look on the boat, the waves. It wasn’t hard to follow his line of thought.

“It will be fine, the tide is just past its highest point,” Ermal tried to reassure him. That boat would stay where it was, waiting for its owner to come back to it.

The man nodded, and then followed him, hand tightly locked with his son.

It was a slow way back to the house and Ermal was glad he knew it well, with the darkness and carrying the girl. He followed the sloping path up from the beach, reaching the meadow and passing the trees. From there, the hardest part was over, the path had been a bit treacherous now that he couldn’t see where he put his feet, but he had managed to stay upright and keep a hold of the girl too, who lay in his arms, asleep, without waking up. A glance over his shoulder told him that the man and the boy were more or less keeping up, they were two grey shapes in the dark behind him. Now it was just past the buildings and across the little yard until he reached the door of his house.

Once inside, Ermal put the girl down on the bench next to the door – it wasn’t the softest place, but he could move her soon. They really needed some light now, the outline of the stove’s door was not in the least enough to illuminate the room. He made his way through the room, and when the lamps were lit, Ermal turned to face the man, who had followed him inside.

What he saw, shocked him. The man was standing a few feet inside the house, the door closed behind him. He wasn’t just tired though, he was _exhausted_. Ermal thought he had been helping the boy across the island, but now he saw that the man was leaning heavily on his son. He was swaying on his feet, and not in a way that might happen after a long sea journey, but rather from plain exhaustion.

That brought questions to Ermal’s mind. Who were these people? What had happened to them, that they arrived here on his island like this, in the evening, in this state? How long had they been traveling? Where had they come from?

Ermal managed to push these questions aside, though, and turned to action. Originally, his plan was to focus on the girl, ill as she was, but as she was asleep, there was little he could do, and the man really worried him now. Quickly, Ermal went over to him, helped him take off his coat and threw it on the coat rack. Then he let the man lean on him, taking as much of his weight as possible as he manoeuvred him to a chair at his table. He also motioned for the boy to sit down.

Ermal didn’t speak, his mind went over the things he had to do, the things he had to make sure now. Drink. Food. No, first dry clothes, maybe? Especially the man was partially drenched from his trousers down, from where he had jumped out of the boat and waded to the beach. Also the children weren’t completely dry, though much drier than the man. They’d only occasionally been sprayed by the waves that had rolled against the boat at a wrong angle.

But food and drink were easier to provide right now, so Ermal started with that after all. He put glasses of water in front of the boy and the man, and then got some bread and cheese that he put on the table too. As the two ate and drank, hungrily, thirstily, Ermal knew he had made a good decision by prioritising this. It also gave him more questions. How long had it been since they had eaten anything? How long had they been on that boat with hardly any provisions? Why?

He stoked up the fire a bit more and the put some water on the stove to boil. Maybe for tea, maybe for a hot water bottle – it would be useful somehow. And if not, the fire was on anyway, the water could just heat up. He stared at the kettle for a bit, trying to gather his thoughts, trying to keep a clear head in this unexpected situation, because that was clearly what was needed. Then he turned his attention back to the man, who looked ready to fall asleep where he sat. Ermal put a hand softly on his shoulder.

“Come on, let’s get you to a bed so you can sleep.”

At that, the man pulled himself up with a shock, his back straight against the backrest of the chair.

“No – Libero, Anita – the children, first the children!”

Ermal looked at him, and for a second he contemplated convincing the man that he himself was more important right now, but then he realized that it probably wouldn’t work. The quickest course of action now would be to just give in to that request.

So Ermal looked at the boy, called Libero apparently, who seemed tired but otherwise okay, given his recent circumstances. Ermal gave him some more water and an apple, and then went over to Anita, the girl. He should put her into the bed, soft and comfortable. He picked her up, and let his mind go over some possibilities. The girl and the man could sleep in his bed, it was easily big enough for them. The boy should be able to fit on the bench, Ermal could turn that into a softer place to sleep with some blankets. It would have to do.

And Ermal… Well, he would find some place to lie down on the floor somewhere, curled up in some blankets.

He put the girl down on the bed. Her clothes seemed mostly dry now, so Ermal decided to just tuck her into the blanket for now. He would check on her again later, first he wanted to also get the man into dry clothes and a bed before he collapsed. Briefly, Ermal rested his hand on the girl’s forehead. It seemed to glow a little under his touch. Fever. It didn’t seem to be too bad, but it was there nonetheless. It only heightened his worry.

Ermal went back to the room. First he took the now boiling water off the stove and put it aside. Then he turned to the man.

“I put your daughter in the bed. She’s still asleep, but I’ll give her something to eat and drink as soon as she wakes up. I’ll keep an eye on her. I will make a bed for your son here on the bench, but first you need to let me help _you_ ,” he said firmly, hoping he could convince the man to give in.

And yes, he nodded weakly, closing his eyes for a second before fixing his gaze on Ermal again.

“You promise to look after them?”

“I promise,” Ermal replied, nodding, and then approached the man.

“Let’s now get you to the bedroom. I have some dry clothes for you, and then you should sleep.”

The man got up from his chair, but Ermal could see how much even that small movement cost him. He wondered if the man would make it to the bedroom, even with his help, though it was just a few steps away, or whether he would have to carry him.

In the end, the man made it, leaning heavily on Ermal, like he had before when getting to the table. He sat down on the bed, fingers running over the soft sheets. Ermal turned to the chest of clothes at the foot of the bed and got out a shirt and some comfortable pants he hoped would fit the man. At least they seemed to be about the same height, that would help.

When he faced the man again, Ermal saw that he hadn’t moved, he seemed to be about to fall asleep sitting up. Ermal put the clothes on the bed, and then gently helped the man undress, get those wet clothes off, put on the dry ones.

The man lay down, looked beside him, and slowly, as if it took all effort in the world, reached out a hand to stroke over his daughter’s sleeping face. He looked up at Ermal and whispered a “Thank you,” before his eyes closed and he drifted off to the sleep that his body so craved.

Ermal got another blanket and also tucked him in. Then he left the room, keeping a light on. He would check on Anita again later. First he had to make a bed ready for Libero. Ermal found the boy still sitting at the table, staring into space without seeing anything, the smallest apple core was on the table in front of him.

“So, Libero, was it?” Ermal said softly, “You must be tired. Ill make you a place to sleep. Is there anything else you need now?”

Ermal walked around the room, getting a pillow and some blankets that would turn the wooden bench into a passable bed. He noticed no answer had come from the boy, so he repeated his question. Again, Libero didn’t speak, but after another heartbeat, he shook his head almost imperceptibly.

“Okay, good. Now, it’s ready, your bed. I hope it’s comfortable. I’ll get you a shirt of mine to sleep in, that must be better than those clothes you’ve been wearing,” Ermal said.

When he came back, holding the shirt in his hands, he saw that the boy had already gotten undressed, his clothes in a messy pile at his feet.

“There,” Ermal said, handing him the shirt and tucking him in the blankets when he’d gotten in. Luckily the bench was just long enough for him.

“Now, if there’s anything at all – something is wrong, or you need something, you can come to me, okay? Also when I’m asleep, just wake me up.”

Libero had nodded weakly at that, and then closed his eyes. Ermal watched him for a second longer. He then turned to go back to the bedroom, but something made him pause.

“You’re safe now. Nothing bad will happen here.”

He didn’t know why he said that, or even if the boy had heard him, or maybe he was already asleep. Ermal had no idea what had happened to this family or what they had been through. He just knew that there must be _something_ , because no one would take such a small boat across open sea with two small children and be so unprepared, not if they had another choice.

Ermal sighed once, and then finally went back to the bedroom. The man was still asleep, not that Ermal had expected anything different. He turned his attention to the girl. She also was asleep. For a moment, Ermal contemplated waking her – she needed to drink something, and to eat something, if she could – but he didn’t want to disturb her. Surely sleep was as good a medicine as any. Ermal leaned his back against the wall and slid down until he was sitting there on the floor next to the bed with his legs pulled up in front of him and the chimney warming his back.

His mind went back to those questions of before, but he still didn’t have any answers. He did have some organising to do, though. Because as long as this little girl was sick like this, these people were going to stay, and he should figure out how to make that work. At least he had found a place to sleep for all of them, he would be fine on the floor for a while.

Then clothes. Maybe he could find some time tomorrow and maybe the nice weather would hold, and he might be able to quickly was and dry their own clothes. Ermal doubted it, though, that he would have the time for that…

And anyway, he had more pressing concerns.

Food.

His supplies were based on what one person would need in a month, and there still was almost a week to go until the new supplies would arrive. Of course he had some extra, some emergency stores. Andrea and Dino sometimes couldn’t make it quite on time, taking a bit longer than the month they had agreed upon, as sometimes the weather was just too dangerous to make the crossing. Especially in winter and early spring, it could be unpredictable.

So Ermal had extra stores of oil and coals and yes, food, but he still doubted it was going to be quite enough for four people, especially when the majority of them needed their strength back after an arduous journey. So this was a point of worry, that he didn’t have an easy solution for.

He was roused from these thoughts by weak coughing coming from the bed. Anita had awoken. Ermal crouched down next to the bed and waited until she had gotten her bearings a bit more.

“Papa?” she asked, voice soft, and looking around her a bit confused.

“Your papa is asleep, Anita, but I will take care of you, okay?” Ermal said gently, capturing the girl’s attention.

“Who are you?” she asked, clearly not being so ill that she had lost all senses.

“I’m Ermal, I live here. I found you and your brother and you papa on the beach, and I helped you. Do you want something to drink? And are you hungry?”

The girl thought for a second, and then only nodded, not answering Ermal’s questions very clearly, but nonetheless telling him he could do something.

“Let’s go to the kitchen. Can I carry you?”

Again, she nodded, and Ermal scooped her up in his arms, blanket and all. With her fever and the hot stove in the kitchen, she would probably be too warm with the blanket too, but Ermal thought that would be better than all the sudden temperature changes, going from warm to cool to warm again.

He put Anita on the chair and gave her some water, that she quickly gulped down. Ermal filled the cup again and then asked, “Do you want something to eat too?”

With the cup still at her lips, Anita nodded again. Ermal smiled at her. Surely, that was a good sign, some appetite. He turned to his counter and cut some small pieces of the bread that was still lying there from before, and put some butter on it. He hoped that wouldn’t upset her stomach.

Ermal put the plate in front of her, grabbed a bowl, and apple and a knife, and then when to sit beside her at the table. Anita ate her bread piece by piece, and when she was done, Ermal pushed the bowl towards her, now filled with thin slices of apple, ready to eat.

And Anita did, and even smiled as the first bite let the juices explode on her tongue. Then, though, she paused, and looked at Ermal with a slight frown on her face.

“Aren’t you eating anything?” she asked.

For a second, Ermal contemplated explaining how he had already eaten, but instead just took a slice from the bowl.

“I am,” he said with a smile, which was answered by Anita, and she picked up another piece as well.

Soon, the apple had disappeared and they sat there for a while, chatting softly so as not to wake Libero. Ermal patiently answered Anita’s questions of where they were and what he did. Then she fell silent, though, putting a small hand to her head.

“I feel a bit dizzy…” she sighed.

Ermal sat up at that, it had been too easy to forget that the girl actually was ill.

“Here, drink a little more, it will help, and then I’ll put you back to bed. Sleep will make everything better.”

He carried her back to the bed, tucking her in and then leaving the room with the door open, so he would know if he was needed.

Quietly, Ermal tidied the kitchen, and then gathered all the blankets that were still unused, and made something that would serve him fine as a bed on the floor near the stove. Tomorrow he should get his rocking chair down from the tower. He liked it there, staring out over the waves through the window, but it would be more useful in the living room, now that he had so many guests.

Ermal lay there, despite the late hour rather awake, keeping his ears wide open for any sign that anyone might need him, but all he heard was soft breathing in the house, and the familiar sounds of the island outside. There was the wind whispering around the house, and the waves in the distance crashing onto the beach that Ermal rationally knew he wasn’t really able to hear from here, but he fancied he could anyway. There was for the rest only silence, and eventually, also Ermal’s eyes closed and he managed to fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, a chapter with more than just descriptions of the island. I'd love to hear your thoughts, thank you for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is another morning, and it turns out that it wasn't just a dream, those people arriving on his beach. Ermal has to figure out what to do next, and he has to see if he can get some answers to the many questions that he has.

When Ermal woke up, he was for a second disoriented. Where was the lighter square of the window against the dark of the wall to the left of him? Why was his mattress so hard, making his back complain a little? Then he realized why. Because he wasn't in his bedroom at all, but on the kitchen floor. Because last night he had found a man and two children in a little boat on his beach.

Ermal listened for a second, but heard nothing out of the ordinary, he assumed his guests were still asleep. Quietly, he got up, and threw some extra clothes on. No matter if spring was on its way, the early mornings could still be bitterly cold, with occasionally a light frost. The kitchen window showed him that dawn was slowly breaking. He decided to go up the tower and update his logs, before turning off the light. Soon the morning would be bright enough for ships to make it through the waters without help. After that he could feed the animals.

First, though, he checked on his guests. The boy was still asleep on the bench, Ermal saw, and when he stuck his head around the bedroom door, he found there two sleeping forms too, just distinguishable in the grey darkness of the room. The lamp he had left on for them had run out of oil and gone out at some point during the night, but now that dawn was starting to break, faint light came in through the window.

Trusting they would be fine for a bit longer, Ermal made his way up the tower's steps and lit a light on his desk. He opened the ledger on the right page and first made an addendum to the previous evening, noting all details he remembered on how he had found his unexpected visitors, before moving on to the standard notes on the weather of the day. With the sun still low, but definitely above the horizon now, Ermal extinguished the tower's light. He climbed down again, and used the lighthouse's back door to get to the buildings where he kept the sheep and the chickens. A part of him wanted to know if all his guests were still asleep, or if they had woken up and needed anything, but there was a good chance they were fine, and he didn't want to wake them with unnecessary slamming of doors.

Ermal didn't spend as long with the animals as he usually did, this time he didn't stay to talk to the chickens, and this time didn't pet Fjolla for minutes - something she didn't take so well, Ermal could hear her indignant bleating from her stable as he turned his back on her after topping up the hay, and she followed him out onto the path. Apparently she had decided that if Ermal just dared to leave her, she would come to claim what she deemed hers: a proper amount of attention. Ermal only ignored her, knowing he had more important things to do. He pumped up some water as he passed the water pump and came back to the house. The bucket accidentally hit he door with a noisy clang as he opened it. Silently cursing himself, Ermal looked at the boy on the bench just a couple of feet away, sure that he had woken him.

He hadn't, he found out, but Libero was awake anyway. He was sitting up, still wrapped in the blanket, staring at Ermal with wide eyes.

"Good morning," Ermal said softly, and crossed the room to put the bucket on the counter. Then he turned back to Libero again. He had to take care of the boy now, but also give him some structure, some semblance of normalcy, so he would hopefully feel more comfortable.

"Would you like some breakfast?"

He got only a shy nod in return, while Libero pulled the blanket a bit tighter around him.

"Great! I'll bring you something in a second. You can stay there in your blanket, that's much nicer than sitting at the table when it's still so cold. But first I'll see if I can find some more clothes that will somehow fit you," Ermal said.

In his bedroom, Ermal rummaged through his chest of clothes, looking for the short pants he knew he had, but that were buried by stacks of winter clothes. He looked up when he noticed movement on the bed. Anita had woken up, and was pushing herself to sit up in the pillows. Her father hadn't stirred and was still fast asleep.

"Morning," Ermal smiled at her, "Are you still dizzy?"

The little girl shook her head, a yawn escaping her, "No, not anymore."

"Are you hungry? Do you want breakfast?"

Now Anita nodded, and some time later Ermal was looking at two children sitting there next to each other on his bench, both wrapped up in a blanket to protect them from the still chilly air in the room. Ermal had rekindled the fire in the stove, but it still took some time for the warmth to spread through the room. Then, instead of staring at the children eating, he decided that he should do something useful. There was enough to do, after all.

He remembered the promise of sunshine in the air he had seen earlier, and decided to get on with some laundry. He wanted to wash at least the children's clothes, surely they would feel better and more at home in their own, clean clothes.

First he had to find something for the girl to wear. Maybe one of his shirts would do, as some kind of dress? A piece of rope could make a belt. It was the best he could offer in such a short time.

In the bedroom, the noise of opening and closing the chest again didn't seem to disturb the man, and Ermal resolved to let him sleep for now, but check on him later. Sleep would only do him good if he needed it so much.

Back with the children, who had now finished their meal, Ermal crouched down in front of them.

"Your papa is still asleep," he told them gently, and then explained his plans to do laundry. "Libero, can you help your sister change? I will start getting the water ready. When it's warm, you can also wash yourselves if you want."

Libero nodded, and Ermal took his bucket back outside and got the tub from the shed too. He went back inside the house to heat the water bit by bit, calling over the children when the water was warm but not too hot yet to wash themselves.

"Can we go outside and help you?" Anita asked, standing next to him at the kitchen counter. Ermal kept a careful eye on her so she wouldn't burn herself on the stove.

"Maybe later, when it is a little warmer. You seem much better today, and I don't want you to get sick again," he answered.

Anita nodded at that, happy enough with that answer, and skipped across the room to settle on the bench next to her brother again. Ermal left them there and washed their clothes, the salty sea breeze taking his thoughts along with it.

It hadn't escaped his notice that Libero wasn't talking. At first Ermal had thought the boy was just shy, being around him on his own, without knowing him, but he also had not spoken a word to his sister, at least not when Ermal could hear. It wasn't that he was deaf and dumb, he had understood and reacted toe everything that Ermal had told him. So what was it then? Ermal didn't quite know what to make of it, but he had to admit it worried him. Hopefully the man would be awake soon and he could talk to him. He could find out if this was a recent change, or if Libero was like this even before he came to the island. Ermal had so many questions, but no way to get any answers except waiting until he could talk to the man.

He put the last peg securely on the line so the wind couldn't steal any of the clothes, and then stood there for a minute, just breathing in the air, feeling the  sun warm his face. He looked out over his island, the little island whose population had quadrupled in size overnight, and smiled at the sight of Fjolla he could see over at the rocks in the distance, nibbling on some of the scratchy bushes' first buds. Then he shook his head though, he should go back to the house, check on his guests.

As he walked in through the door, he saw Libero and Anita still curled up on the couch together, now asleep. Ermal smiled at the sight for a second, before moving on and getting some water and some bread to take to the man. No matter how much he needed sleep, maybe it would be better to wake him up now, his body also needed sustenance after his time on sea...

Ermal found out it wasn't a decision to make, though, because when he put the cup and plate on the little bedside table, the man woke up from his long sleep. He scrunched his nose and closed his eyes more tightly for a second before finally opening them. Ermal did a step back to give the man some space to come to his senses - waking up after such a long, deep sleep, after such a journey, must be disorienting.

And yes, the man blinked against the light streaming in through the window and looked around him, first confusedly and slowly, and then as more memories surfaced with more alarm, looking for something, someone. Ermal did a small step forward again, which got him the man's attention.

"Your children are safe. They're in the living room, they're asleep," he said softly, but clearly, remembering the way the man hadn't wanted to rest before his children were taken care of, despite needing it so badly himself. This information about his children would be important to him, and Ermal hoped it would help him calm down a little. It seemed to work, the man settling back in his pillows, breathing deeply, apparently reassured.

"How are you feeling? Do you need anything? Something to eat or drink?" Ermal asked, though what he really wanted to ask was "Who are you? Where are you from? What happened to you?". But no matter his curiosity, these questions and their answers would have to wait.

"Water," the man whispered, and Ermal helped him sit up in the pillows before handing him the mug. At first the man sipped carefully, but quickly drank thirstily until the mug was empty. Ermal put it back on the table.

"Something to eat as well?" he offered then, but the man shook his head.

"Not hungry," he muttered.

"Is there anything else I can do for you?"

"My children, please?" came the answer, almost before Ermal had finished his sentence. He nodded, and went to the living room and gently shook both children from their sleep.

Both children were awake in a second when he told them their father wanted to see them. They ran to the bedroom, and Ermal followed them a bit more slowly. The scene he walked into warmed his heart. The man was still in the bed, now with his children on either side of them, and he was hugging them close, so close. It felt like a moment too private to keep watching, so Ermal turned away, and busied himself in the kitchen, ready at an instant if he would be needed, but no longer intruding on this family.

He hadn't expected to be called, but his name sounded through the house anyway. "Ermal?"

It was Anita's voice, and Ermal hurried over, wiping his hands on a towel.

"Papa wants to talk to you," she told him when he appeared in the doorway, and then pulled Libero with her, back to the living room. Ermal watched them go, and then approached the bed.

"I want to thank you for looking after my children," the man said, his voice lower and more raspy than Ermal had expected. "And for looking after me," the man added, with a glance at the bed, the blankets around him.

"Of course. It is my pleasure. I am happy to help you..." Ermal said, trailing off in the hope to get a name from the man.

"I'm Fabrizio. Fabrizio Mobrici," came the answer and a hand was raised to shake Ermal's. He introduced himself too, but then fell silent. He had so many questions, but he didn't know if he could ask them. He didn't really know if he wanted to know the answers.

"Where are we?" Fabrizio then asked, no doubt full of questions.

Ermal answered him, and a sign of recognition appeared in the man's eyes at the mention of the lighthouse.

He asked a few more questions, but his voice grew softer and softer, and he slid down in the bed, burying himself in the blankets.

"Can I sleep some more?" he asked then, not meeting Ermal's eyes, as if he expected the answer to be no, as if he expected he would have to go now, as if he expected Ermal to put them back in their boat and send them off onto the waves again. It hurt Ermal’s heart a little.

"Of course. Call for me when you wake and need anything. Anything at all."

Fabrizio nodded, eyes already closed, and Ermal suspected he was asleep before he left the room.

More time had passed than he had thought, and it would rather be a good idea to get on with some of his chores before starting dinner. He checked in with the children, asking them if he could do anything for them. Libero just shook his head, his little sister following suit. Ermal left them, knowing they were probably bored, but right now he couldn't help the lack of toys in the lighthouse. They would have to amuse themselves for a while longer.

Then he went out again, getting some more water, and fed the animals. This time he took a moment to pet Fjolla, telling her about his visitors, hoping she would feel a little less hurt when he spent less time with her than usual, though knowing that she was just a sheep and didn't have a single clue what he was saying.

In passing, he touched the clothes on the line, to see if they had dried. A few of the thinner items had, some of the others were still damp, but he would have to take them inside anyway. The nights were still cold and the morning's foggy dew would do away all of the sun's hard work. He could leave them out a little longer, but then take them inside. Ermal decided to first turn on the light – again earlier than he usually would, but the situation was so far from usual.

He climbed the tower, made his notes om the weather and the circumstances, on his visitors, and then, as the first hints of twilight appeared on the horizon, went up the final flight of stairs to tend the lamp and light it.

On his way down, he managed to not forget the rocking chair that he wanted to put in the living room, and carried it down the stairs. In the living room, he found Anita standing at the window, on tiptoes holding on to the window sill, watching the light beam slice the sky as it rotated.

"You turned the light on!" she exclaimed, upon seeing Ermal.

"Yes, I did. Now ships can sail safely through the night, without hitting the rocks," Ermal answered, before continuing, "I'll start dinner soon, I just have to get the laundry in."

"Can we help now?" Anita asked, her wide eyes on Ermal, making it so hard to say no. He hesitated. He still didn't think it was the best idea for the children to go outside, but he couldn't keep them cooped up inside for days. And it was only for a few minutes. And Anita’s eyes…

"I'll get you a sweater to wear," he said after his brief contemplation, melting at the smile on Anita's face. How could it be a bad decision if it made her so happy to go outside for a little bit?

"Do you want to come too?" he asked Libero, looking at him now. He got a nod and a small smile in return, and Ermal went to fetch two sweaters. One he handed to Libero, the other to Anita. They were comically big on the two children, and Ermal kneeled down to roll up the sleeves so they had at least their hands free.

"Okay, all ready, let's go!"

The three of them went outside, both children looking around them in awe.

"Are you really the only person living here?" Anita asked, looking at the cliffs in the distance a bit sceptically, as if Ermal had hidden a village full of people out there.

"Yes, I am. But there's a sheep and some chickens! If you feel good tomorrow, I can show them to you!"

He collected all the laundry from the line, Libero helping him carrying the clothes, and Anita collecting the pegs in the pouch she had made of the sweater. Soon, Ermal dropped in the last pegs and handed Libero the final shirt. They went back inside, and Ermal quickly sorted the clothes and hung out the things that needed it most over some chairs.

When he turned back to the children, he saw that their rolled up sleeves had come undone. Anita was now flapping hers around, giggling as she did. Libero watched her, his own sleeves hanging down, but then his sister turned on him, flapping the sleeves against him.

"It's fun!" she squealed, persisting until finally Libero retaliated, flapping his own sleeves at her.

Ermal looked on as the two played like this, listened to Anita's laughter, and then, to his unexpected relief, even Libero's giggle. A warm feeling spread through his heart, and he wished he had some way to record this moment for the future, so he could look back on it on lonelier evenings than this one. The children’s laughter filled the house with a lightness that he only now realized had been missing before, a lightness that he wished he could keep with him. The memory of this would have to do, but he would treasure it, and keep it even long after this family had left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm very curious to hear what you think of it, and would love every comment I get! Thank you for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new day breaks. Will Ermal finally get some answers to all the questions he has about the three guests on his island, or will today only bring more things to wonder about? What it definitely will bring is two energetic children who would like to be entertained.

The next morning, Ermal awoke again before any of his guests had – or at least before any had shown a sign of needing something, be it attention, food, drink, or anything else he could provide. Dawn had already broken, so with a quick breakfast of some bread in his hand, he made his way up the lighthouse. He started by extinguishing the light, and did a rigorous check of all parts. He hadn't had time to do that in a few days, and he knew that no matter what else happened, the light was supposed to be his first responsibility.

Luckily, the light and all its mechanisms seemed to be in a good state still, and more than adding some oil and trimming the light's wick wasn't necessary, though Ermal made a mental note to clean the glass and mirrors soon. It could wait a little longer, but it was better to do it as soon as he had time. As recent events showed, unexpected things could happen, and it was better to be prepared as much as possible.

Content with his work so far, Ermal climbed down the ladder and settled at his desk. He opened his ledger and noted down what he had done to the lamp, and then moved on the weather. He checked the air pressure levels on his barometer, and noted down the way the waves and the sky looked.

Overnight, the weather had changed from the pleasant sunny early spring day it had been yesterday, and now he was looking at a blue sky mostly covered by grey clouds that promised showers of rain throughout the day. The wind had picked up as well since yesterday, and Ermal hoped the air pressure had just dropped a little only today, and wasn't on its way further down to predict a storm.

With a last glance out over the waves, Ermal sighed and closed the ledger. It was time to move on with the day. He would have to take it as it came.

First he fed the animals, picking up the eggs from the chickens and petting Fjolla for a while. Soon though, he moved back inside. He had been lucky earlier, then it had still been dry, but now he felt raindrops land on his face and arms. He put the eggs on the table and dashed outside once more to get some water from the pump. He knew the rain would soon let up again, and if he had been alone he would just have waited before going out if it wasn't absolutely necessary, but now he had people to take care of. His hair and clothes would dry quickly and now he had everything he needed.

A glance at Libero told Ermal he was still asleep, wrapped up in his blankets to his chin, but no doubt the boy would wake soon. And yes, it took the smell of eggs frying on the stove and the gentle whistle of the kettle that signalled the water was ready for tea, to make the boy emerge.

Ermal greeted him with a smile and a soft good morning, no longer surprised by the silence he got in return – Libero's answering smile said more than enough.

"Do you want to wake up your father and sister?" Ermal asked him, with half an eye still on the eggs.

He didn't see Libero's response, but heard the bedroom door click open, so Ermal took that as a yes. He slid the now finished eggs onto a plate he put on the table, where they accompanied the pot of tea, the apples, the sliced meats and cheese he still had, though he was going to run out soon, and the last of the bread he had. Another mental note, he needed to bake some more bread soon.

Libero came back into the kitchen, followed by a yawning Anita. Ermal waited a bit, but Fabrizio didn't appear.

"Is your papa coming?" he asked, but of course didn't get an answer besides the boy's head shake. It puzzled Ermal a little, but he wasn't too worried, trusting that Libero would tell him somehow if something was really wrong. Fabrizio might still be tired, he seemed to have pushed himself to the limit, and sleep would be good. He had to eat, too, though. Ermal would bring him something later. Now, he sat at the table with the children and helped Anita with her food when she needed it.

"Ermal, you said we could go see the animals today!" she said suddenly, remembering Ermal's promise as she was eating her egg.

It only took Ermals glance at the window for her to understand that it wasn’t possible to go outside now, not with the rain, and Anita’s face fell.

“But listen, I’m sure at some point the weather will clear up, and then we can go, okay?” Ermal hastened to say, not wanting to see the little girl sad for a second, not if he could help it.

There was a hesitant nod now, another doubtful look at the window where the drops chased each other down the glass, and then Anita continued her meal.

After they had finished, and Ermal had cleared away the plates, he turned around again to find two children staring at him.

“Ermal, do you have something we can do?”

“Do?” he echoed, while at the same time realization hit him. These children were no doubt used to playing outside, playing with other children, having a thousand different things to do every day. And now here they were, cooped up in a little house, on a tiny island, with only an adult for company… Of course they would be bored as soon as the shock of their journey and arriving here had started to wear off.

Did he have any toys? Did he have anything that could keep them occupied, keep them happy?

He had, he realized, he had something perfect to give them something to do on this rainy day. Ermal told Libero and Anita he would be back, and went up to the tower. He rummaged through the drawers of his desk until he had found what he was looking for. Back in the kitchen, he put his findings on the table.

Both children stared at him, at what he had brought them, and Ermal saw the light in their eyes when he looked at them.

“Come on, don’t you want to draw something?” he said finally, as they kept standing a careful couple of feet away from the table, and smiled down on the stack of paper and the pencils he had put down.

“Yes!” Anita squealed, and hopped over to scramble up on one of the chairs. Libero also nodded, and quickly followed his sister’s example. Ermal watched them for a second, saw how their grips on the pencils was a bit clumsy, seemingly unaccustomed to it, saw how their first lines were just a little more shaky than he had expected them to be. But he also saw the smiles on their faces, the sparks in their eyes, and their concentration.

Smiling to himself, he turned away. He wanted to check up on Fabrizio and made his way over to the bedroom, taking a glass of water with him. Something made him close the door behind him, and he was glad he did. He was also glad that Libero and Anita were occupied in the kitchen, and not in the bedroom with him now, because he was sure that his face clearly showed an expression of worry.

Ermal approached Fabrizio, who was exactly the cause of his worry. He decidedly looked pale, so much paler than he had yesterday, and there were bright red spots on his cheeks. His hair was sticking to his forehead, damp with sweat. Ermal didn’t really need to put his hand to Fabrizio’s face to know he would find it glowing hot.

He had a fever. And from what Ermal could see, it was worse than Anita’s had been. No wonder, maybe, no doubt both Fabrizio and Libero had done all they could to let the little girl rest, while Fabrizio had just kept pushing himself, pushing himself, trying to get his children to safety for who knew how long. Right now, Ermal could only guess how long they had been on that boat, guess how many nights Fabrizio had not slept, how many days he had given any food and drink they might have had to his children… No wonder he was ill, and badly so.

Ermal sighed, and stared at Fabrizio, trying to decide on the best course of action, going over all he knew of treating fevers. A doctor, that would be a good start, but he didn’t have one, not now. He would have one, when Andrea and Dino came, or soon enough then, and that was still two days away according to the schedule – a schedule that didn’t take into account any bad weather. Here was to hoping some more that this was just a day with some rain, and not the start of a spring storm.

Then, he should keep Fabrizio cool, so that his body wouldn’t heat up any more. He needed water, that was important. Food, if he could, but Ermal doubted that right now. He looked at the man, who might be asleep, or who might be just resting.

“Fabrizio?” he tried softly, crouching down next to the bed, with a hand on the bedside table to keep his balance. “Are you awake?”

He waited for a response, anything. It took another try to get the man’s attention, before he finally blinked his eyes open.

“How are you feeling?” Ermal asked, because he had to say something, not because he couldn’t read the answer from Fabrizio’s body language. And indeed, the answer was no more than a groan.

“You should drink something, here,” Ermal said, and helped Fabrizio sit up a bit and put the cup of water to his lips. He made Fabrizio finish the whole cup, even if he didn’t want to. He had to. He just had no choice.

“I’ll be back in a second,” he promised Fabrizio, who just let himself fall back into the pillows, eyes closed.

Ermal carefully closed the door behind him, he was going to try his hardest to not worry the children before he absolutely had to tell them their father was ill. He refilled the cup with water and got out a clean rag, and wetted that too. Libero and Anita were still scribbling on the paper, without paying him too much attention, so Ermal quickly went back to the bedroom.

He put the water on the bedside table, and the rag on Fabrizio’s forehead, wiping the sweat away, and hopefully giving some cool relief. It seemed to work, because Fabrizio let out a shaky breath and seemed to relax a little more. Ermal sat there, until the rag had lost its cooling properties, and Fabrizio had fallen asleep. He got up, vowing to come back later. Now he had to check how Libero and Anita were doing, and there was a growing list of chores to be completed as well.

Both Libero and Anita were still happily occupied with the drawing. Ermal admired their creations, and gave them something to drink and some cut up fruit. He told them he would be doing some things around the house, in the shed, in the tower, but that if there was something, they could always come and find him.

As the rain wasn’t too bad, Ermal started with patching up the pier. It wasn’t perfect, but it would allow a boat to dock properly without any mishaps. He could do it better later, when he had more time, right now it was just important that it was fixed for now, because he had realized that he needed Andrea and Dino to come sooner rather than later. He was leaving nothing to chance.

That realization was only strengthened when he entered the shed and saw his rapidly dwindling stores of food. He took some potatoes and some carrots and a few other ingredients he could use for dinner, and tried to do a mental count of how much he had left. How many days would it last them, now that he had three more mouths to feed? His extra stores were only meant to last him the few days it might take extra for his new supplies to come, and they were certainly not enough to feed four people for a longer time, especially not if they needed to get their strength back…

He shook his head, he couldn’t change it now. He just had to hope his worries were for nothing, that his new supplies would arrive soon, that Fabrizio would be better soon, and that all would be well. He just had to do his best to let everything else run as smoothly as he could.

Exiting the shed, he found the rain had picked up again, so he hastened to the house and put the food away. As he went through the cupboards, Anita came up to him, her sheet of paper in her hand.

“Look, Ermal!”

Ermal smiled and took the page he was offered. He looked at it, and his smile only grew at what he saw. Three heads, with legs and arms attached to them, one set of limbs much longer than the other two. The background was filled with scribbles that might be trees, or houses, or anything else. It wasn’t hard to guess, though, who Anita had drawn, but she explained it anyway.

“That’s me, and that’s Libero, and that’s papa!” she said, proudly pointing at each of the figures in turn.

“It’s beautiful!” Ermal said, and he couldn’t help but run a hand over Anita’s hair as he handed the drawing back. He approached Libero next, leaning on the back of the chair next to him.

“Do you want to show my your drawing too?” he asked him, waiting until the boy nodded and slid the paper over the table towards Ermal. The page showed a sun in the corner, with a house below it. It showed the front with a door and two windows, with a roof on top and a nicely smoking chimney. Next to the house was a boat, and in the colours Ermal recognized the boat Fabrizio and the children had arrived in. Some trees and flowers framed the picture.

“Is that where you used to live?” Ermal asked carefully, he still didn’t know what happened, and he didn’t want to upset Libero. But the boy just nodded, not really looking at either Ermal or the drawing, but reaching out across the table to finish his cup of water.

“It looks great! Did you have fun drawing?”

His question was answered by a short nod only, but Ermal could see the small smile on the boy’s lips too.

He left the children then, knowing he should see how Fabrizio was doing. He entered the bedroom, and found the man much the same as before. He had tossed and turned in the bed, and Ermal sank down on the edge of it.

“Fabrizio? You have to drink something.”

Slowly, he blinked his eyes open, staring up at Ermal.

“Come on, sit up a little. I’ll help you,” Ermal said, and did just that, and put the cup to Fabrizio’s lips again. Besides that and laying a new cold rag over his forehead, there was just not much he could do, no matter how he wished it was otherwise.

He closed the bedroom door behind him with a sigh, and leaned against the wall next to it briefly, closing his eyes. He hoped Fabrizio would be better soon. He really didn’t know how long he could do this. Suddenly, his quiet life had been turned upside down with the arrival of the man and his two small children, and so far it had been all Ermal could do to make sure they all were cared for as well as he could. But with Fabrizio being so ill… With no answers, with no food, and a little boy who didn’t talk, it was a lot.

But he had to go on, it was the only way. Soon, at least, there would be new supplies, and he could ask Andrea and Dino for help. A few more days was all it would take. They could make it a few more days. _He_ could make it a few more days.

Ermal opened his eyes again, and stared right in those of Libero. The boy looked at him, eyes wide with question. He looked at Ermal, he looked past Ermal at the bedroom door, and back at Ermal again. It was clear what he meant, and it was exactly what Ermal had wanted to avoid for just a little longer.

He stepped over to Libero, checking where Anita was, who was out of earshot, playing with some clothes’ pegs.

“Your papa is not feeling well,” Ermal said softly, and wished he could give any reassurances as well, but he knew he couldn’t. He didn’t want to worry the boy, but even less did he want to give him false promises.

Libero only nodded sagely, shot a last look at the door, and then joined Anita in her game.

Ermal sighed once more, before he decided he might as well get on with some more chores. It wasn’t absolutely necessary, but he didn’t know how much time he would have the coming days, so it seemed a good idea to clean the light’s mirrors now that he had the chance.

He went up the tower, carrying the bucket and some cleaning rags. He clicked open the lamp to better reach its inner parts and cleaned it until all was clear and shiny again. He sighed once, and clicked all parts back into place again. This suddenly had turned into one of his easier tasks, a worry quickly solved. So many others took its place, though.

When he had finished, he turned, and stared out over the waves for a moment. Even with all the thoughts in his mind asking for attention, thoughts on Fabrizio, thoughts on the children, thoughts on the food, thoughts on the weather, thoughts on the state of the lighthouse and its buildings, the moving expanse of water far below calmed him.

Then he looked up, at the sky dotted with clouds, some grey, some white, separated by stretches of blue where the sun shone through. It was a pretty sight, and Ermal enjoyed how all elements played together. The air, the light of the sun, the water of the waves and rain… Nature really was a beautiful thing.

Wait, the light of the sun and the water of the rain? Ermal spun around until he saw his prediction  confirmed. A rainbow stretched out in the distance, a perfect one, half a circle of bright colours. Ermal watched it for a moment, breath taken away by the sight, until he realized that this was something others might want to see too.

He rattled down the ladder, down the stairs, hoping the rainbow would stay in place for a little longer.

“Libero? Anita? Do you want to come up the tower with me? There’s something I would like to show you,” he said, approaching the playing children. They looked up at him, something like excitement on their faces, no doubt caused by his own breathless energy.

“Can we really?” Anita asked, and Ermal nodded.

“Yes! If you want to, then let’s go!”

Ermal let them lead the way up the stairs, and carefully stayed behind them on the ladder too, cautious, but all went well, and they all emerged at the top. Libero and Anita looked around them in awe, looked at the lamp.

“Does that give so much light?” Anita whispered, looking at Ermal now.

“It does. But that is not what I wanted to show you. Come, let’s go out on the walkway. Hold on to my hand, it is a little windy. We won’t stay out long.”

They stood their on the little balcony wrapping around the top of the lighthouse, and Ermal found the spot he had stood at just moments earlier. To his big relief, the rainbow was still there, as if it had waited for them. If anything, it was clearer now than before, and Ermal smiled at it.

“Oh, it’s so beautiful!” Anita whispered, staring at the rainbow, and pointing at it with her free hand. Libero stared too, just as captured by the beauty as his sister, but he had his free hand wrapped tightly around the railing. Ermal held his hand a little tighter. He hadn’t realized the children might get scared, so high up.

Finally, the rainbow disappeared, and the wind turned on them like it hadn’t before, quickly chilling them almost to the bone.

“Let’s go back inside,” Ermal said, and there showed them the light and how it worked, until they were a little bit warmer, and the climb down would be a bit easier. Once they had reached the living room again, Ermal wrapped the children in their blankets, and boiled some water for tea.

“That was so pretty!” Anita said excitedly, “And it was so high, I felt like a bird, I felt like I could fly!”

Ermal smiled at her, her enthusiasm so endearing. He turned to Libero as well, who was sitting beside him.

“Did you like the rainbow?” he asked softly, and Libero nodded, not meeting his eyes.

“But not the height?” Ermal continued, even more softly, keeping it between them. Libero looked at him now, paused a second, and gave a tiny shake of his head before fixing his eyes on the table again. Ermal put a hand on his shoulder.

“You were very brave, going up even if you were scared, not everyone would do that,” he told him softly, and if he wasn’t mistaken, Libero’s eyes brightened just a little.

Ermal let it be then, moved on to dinner and endless other tasks. He made Fabrizio drink some more, and changed the cloth a few times more. The weather didn’t clear up enough so that the children could meet the animals, but Ermal thought their excursion to the top of the tower had rather been enough excitement for the day. He tended them himself, and then made it back to the house just in time to turn on the light in the quickly falling darkness. He had planned several tasks in the evening hours, but he found that the past days’ events were catching up with him, and no matter what he started, he couldn’t concentrate, so that finally he had no choice but to curl up in his blankets, and hope that the next day would give him more opportunities to get things done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I'd love to know your thoughts on this :) <3


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We find Ermal, Fabrizio, Libero and Anita again on the island for another day. Things are quite the same as before, until something changes. And not for the better.

The day passed like the previous one had done, and was mostly spent inside. The weather was much the same, as was Fabrizio’s condition. If anything, both were a little worse, but Ermal tried to ignore that, so he wouldn’t get lost in cycles of senseless worries. He did his best to take care of Fabrizio as well as he could, but there was only so much he could do. He forced him to drink something at regular intervals, and wished he could make him eat, but that was a lost cause.

The rain poured down most of the day, occasionally letting up for a half hour, but only to return again. Ermal hastened through his outside chores, hurrying from building to building to take shelter again from the elements. He stared at his stores, at the empty shelves, trying to push down the despair. With the weather like it was, he knew it was very unlikely that Andrea and Dino would be coming tomorrow, even though it was their scheduled day. They had undoubtedly also seen the dropping air pressure levels, like Ermal had, and like him, they knew what it meant. They would not take such a big risk to come in such conditions.

It left them with rather little, though, and no clue on how long it was supposed to last them. He took the bare minimum he needed for the day, and then some flour. At least he still had that and they would have bread.

Making bread turned out to also be a good way to entertain Libero and Anita. Ermal let them make their own little loaves while he worked on some bigger ones. They would hopefully keep them filled for some time.

The boring waiting time where the dough rested and was left to rise and proof was first filled with some cleaning, because it turned out the flour hadn’t quite stayed on the counters, and then Ermal brought out some dice he’d found.

They amused themselves with some simple games, until it was time for an improvised dinner and Ermal’s evening chores. Libero and Anita were now playing on the floor near the bench, and as Ermal tidied the kitchen a bit, he stared out of the window. The wind had seemed to pick up a little, and it started to howl around the house. With the rain that was still falling, it was clear that last week's weather had turned out to be nothing more than a broken promise of spring, and winter seemed to back with a vengeance.

It worried him.

But he couldn’t do a thing about it.

He shrugged on his coat and checked on the animals and made sure all doors were tightly shut. The sky showed all signs of a storm brewing, and if it would break tonight, Ermal wanted to make sure there wouldn't be any other problems. He got some extra oil and coals to store in the house, and then went back for some extra food and water as well. He would still have to go out, storm or no storm, to tend the animals, but at least he had taken care of all other things he could.

He then made his way up the stairs of the lighthouse, checking the wick and topping up the oil, and then lighting it. A floor below the light, he made his notes in the logbook. Lost in thought, he stared out over the dark, tumultuous waves outside, illuminated every once in a while by the beam of light swerving over them. Yes, he knew there was a storm coming, and it worried him.

There was still absolutely nothing he could do about it, though, so he went down again, sitting in his rocking chair, watching Libero and Anita, until Anita’s yawns had taken over, and he knew it was time for her to sleep. He put her in the bed, and took the chance to make Fabrizio drink some more water. When he returned to the living room, also Libero had wrapped himself up in his blankets to sleep. Ermal quickly checked on him, and then also settled on his blankets for the night. He read a little, but then extinguished the light and went to sleep.

It was a few hours later when Ermal woke up. At first he thought it was the storm that woke him, because the storm had arrived. The rain hit the windows with never-ending clatter, the wind pushed and pulled on every beam and screw and tile. The combined creaking of the wood, the rush of she wind, and the water pouring down created a noise that might succeed at waking the dead, and for a few seconds Ermal thought that was all it was.

He lay there in the dark room, listening to the sounds of the storm, rather familiar after a long and tempestuous winter, until he noticed that all that was in fact not what had woken him up.

What had woken him up was Libero, wrapped up in a blanket, shyly shaking his shoulder.

The sight cleared all sleep from Ermal's head and he pushed himself up to light the lamp he had left on the table.

"What is wrong?" he asked, kneeling down in front of Libero. In the light that now shone through the room, he could see the tears in the boy's eyes, and the slight shaking that went through him.

"Can't you sleep?" he asked, knowing he should narrow down by closed questions so Libero could answer with a shake or a nod of his head. A shake it was, now, not that Ermal had expected differently, it had been more a rhetorical question than anything else. Obviously he couldn't sleep, or he wouldn't be standing here.

"Did you have a bad dream?" Ermal asked then, softly placing a hand on Libero's shoulder in what he hoped would be a comforting gesture.

Another shake of his head, followed by a shake through his body as a particularly vicious gust of wind crashed against the house.

"Is it the storm?" Ermal asked softly, and got a tiny nod in return.

Before he could formulate any sentence that might lessen Libero's fear a little, the boy took his hand and pulled him towards the bedroom. Ermal quickly reached out to grab the lamp and followed him. In the room he easily found someone else who couldn't sleep. Anita was curled up in her blanket, but her wide eyes showed she was awake, and her wide eyes showed that Libero wasn't the only one crying.

Ermal put the lamp on the bedside table, letting it shine through the room. Libero scrambled up on the bed, nudging his sister over closer to Fabrizio, and then settling down next to her, brushing her tears away. Ermal went around the bed, to tuck them in the blankets, but it was clear that that was not enough to make them feel safe. The rain assaulted the window, and Ermal wished he had closed the shutters. It was too late now, it would be foolish to go outside in this weather, and he didn’t want to leave the children alone.

Not that long at least, because the next thought that crossed his mind was a much better idea.

“I’ll be back in just a second, I promise,” he told Libero and Anita, as convincingly as he possibly could, and dashed to the living room.

His book of fairy tales, the old one, the one his mother used to read to him from, his favourite one, where was it? He scanned the top shelf of his bookshelf, and found it quickly. He returned to the bedroom, taking his blankets with him. He knew that if he made it to sleep again, it would not be in the kitchen.

Wrapped in the blankets, he settled close to the children. He was just in reach of the light and he could read the letters in his book. Not that he needed it, he knew all these stories by heart. And not that he did, the language in the book a different one from the one he was speaking now, but the familiar pages helped him calm down, and the occasional illustration captured also Libero’s and Anita’s attention.

As he read, Libero and Anita calmed down, settling in the covers more comfortably. They didn’t tense up at every gust of wind and rain that fell on the glass, but relaxed and were drawn into the story. Ermal read on, remembering all the times he was the one listening to this, slowly understanding what his mother wanted to tell him with it, which was so much more than just a story to pass the time.

 

**_The true beauty_ **

_A long time ago in a country that no longer exists today, some people had decided to build the most beautiful city in the world. This place had to have magnificent houses on so many storeys that they would touch the clouds, like the birds can. They had to be even higher than the highest lighthouse! The streets had to extend up in the atmosphere in order to reach the moon. Every place had to be coated in gold and in silver, and in every corner there had to stand a splendid marble statue. The people of the city wanted it to be bigger and better and more beautiful than anything anyone had ever seen before._

_They thought only about building. When a child was born, it was immediately being prepared to work on this project. None of the children knew what games were, they didn’t have time to play. Mothers did not give kisses to the children, only instructions. They had to learn how to build, and make things, and help the city grow._

_At times, however, the children would play while building without knowing that was what they did. They were just trying to make it more fun, even if they had no example of fun. They would explore hidden corners of the buildings without permission from the adults, and they would find ways to satisfy their natural curiosity. They would let their imagination wander for fun, creating worlds so different from their own. This way, the children would feel better when going home in the evening after a long day of work._

_One day, a little boy called Ennio, who was a perfect child for his parents, had gone to the house that their neighbour was building, without asking the permission of his parents. In the unfinished house, the walls were very high and the bricks had the form of fruits. The sun was shining and the rays were reflected in these exceptionally beautiful bricks, showing all the most delicious fruits in the whole world. And in the light, they seemed almost real. At one point, as he was admiring this masterpiece, Ennio realised that a real red apple was stuck in a hole in the wall that was still being built. He could see a little brown spot, a blemish that showed it wasn’t the perfect stone fruit that would have been a part of the building. In the time that had passed since breakfast, hunger had begun to make itself known and Ennio wanted to silence it. He stuck his hand in the vast empty space and grasped the round red apple._

_In the moment in which he was about to pull it out of the hole in the wall, the worst happened. He felt his right shoulder hurt and then an intense pain shot through his hand. He couldn’t believe it, he had been so sure the apple was real, but no. It was hard, like stone. It wasn’t real, but made from cement. The brown spot was just a trick of light, and the apple was just as perfect and fake as all the other fruits around him._

_In the very same moment as he realized this, Ennio saw the owner of the wall, his neighbour, make his way towards him. It was a real nightmare. He had to run away as soon as possible, he knew he wasn’t allowed to be here. He tried to run towards home but couldn’t, his arm was stuck and he couldn’t get it out, not even trying with all his might. The owner of the fake apple was close now, and started to yell at him._

_“You stupid ill-mannered boy!” said the owner, “Who gave you permission to trespass my territory? To ruin my wall? To destroy my garden? Oh, how I will slap you!”_

_All of the neighbourhood had heard him yell. Ennio’s parents came running immediately. Slowly, other people filled the garden to see what was happening. Ennio still couldn’t take his arm out of the hole in the wall, and he had started to cry. So had his mother, so worried was she to see her son stuck there._

_She screamed through tears, “You have to destroy the wall! You have to save my son!”_

_The owner replied, “You’re on my property! You have to cut the child’s arm off! My wall has to be saved!” Because he was one of the city’s people, who thought the city and its buildings were more important than anything else, especially more important than a naughty little boy._

_Ennio’s father, in the meanwhile, was proposing to tear down the wall only in the part where the arm of his son was stuck. But the owner wouldn’t listen to reason, and continued to say how he wanted Ennio’s arm cut off so his wall could be saved._

_During all this, some fairies had appeared from a mirror in a nearby building. They wanted to follow what was happening. Of course, they were saddened by what they saw, because it’s the job of adults, of all adults, to protect children. They shouldn’t think their possessions are more important than that, so the fairies were very upset with Ennio’s neighbour. The fairies could do a certain kind of magic, they closed their eyes simultaneously and in a travelled to the centre of the Earth. On their Map of Solutions that they had there for safe-keeping, they saw a little drawing of a face brighten up as if it wanted to be with them and help resolve the situation. So, the fairies said a magic spell and then a child of about seven years appeared in front of them, a child whose face resembled the drawn one on the map. He was called Ilir and came from a country far away. The child seemed surprised to see the fairies, and a bit scared._

_“Give him a pill of explanations right away!” exclaimed one of the fairies. After taking this magic pill, one was able to know everything, to read the minds of the fairies and to know what they needed help with._

_“But I don’t like pills!” complained Ilir, still scared._

_“In that case, we also have sweets,” answered another one of the fairies, with a kind voice._

_“Don’t worry, Ilir, both the sweets and the pill taste like fruit, don’t be scared,” said yet a different fairy with a beautiful smile on her lips._

_Ilir believed her and took the pill. He put it on his tongue and it tasted of the juiciest raspberries of summer. As soon as he swallowed it, he realised how grave the situation of little Ennio was, and he knew how he could help._

_“Bring me to him quickly!” said Ilir to the fairies and they did so immediately, blinking again, and carrying Ilir with them through the world._

_They approached the city where Ennio lived, flying through the air. They could see the splendid tall buildings that rose up in the sky in this strange neighbourhood. They saw the little boy who was crying with his arm stuck in a wall, and all adults around him either screaming at each other or admiring the beautiful buildings. No one noticed little Ilir approaching Ennio. He walked over slowly and sat down next to Ennio._

_“Why are you crying so much?” Ilir asked, “Does your hand hurt a lot?”_

_“Yes,” said Ennio, then added, “and what’s worse is that I’ve ruined this beautiful wall that everyone admires!” For he knew how bad it was to undo all the hard work that people put in, because how would they then reach their goal of having the best, biggest, most beautiful city anyone had ever seen?_

_“No, my friend, you’re wrong,” said Ilir, “We can always rebuild the wall, and it will be just as beautiful, so it is not the worst thing.” Then, he added, “How beautiful is this red apple from cement that you wanted to take!”_

_“Yes, it’s very beautiful,” responded Ennio, “even though in the end it’s not edible. I’d like you to see it but I can’t pull it out, I’m stuck.”_

_“Are you hungry?” asked Ilir._

_“Very. I’m dying of hunger,” answered Ennio._

_“Then I will give you my breakfast,” continued Ilir, offering him an apple that was a little less beautiful than the one that had seduced Ennio. It had a few brown spots, but it looked so tasty to Ennio, and he wished he could take it. But he couldn’t._

_“Why would you do that?” said Ennio, “Don’t you think that I’m at fault? That I’m destroying a work of art?”_

_“Oh, stop it,” said Ilir, “I consider you simply a friend in need of help.”_

_Ennio smiled and calmed down, his tears slowly drying. He reached out to take the apple that his friend from far away was offering him, and let go of the apple from cement that he had held onto with much strength. He realised that his arm was loose now, and that he could take it out of the hole. Little by little he pulled it free. The two friends laughed as one of them tasted the apple._

_“It’s so delicious!” said Ennio, “The most delicious one that I’ve ever eaten!”_

_“Of course it’s delicious,” said Ilir, “My grandfather tends to his trees with great care. It is a family tradition,” he continued with pride and satisfaction in his voice. “When I am grown up, I will take over his farm!”_

_The adults still hadn’t noticed that little Ennio was free and smiling. Everyone was still thinking about his bad fate._

_“The poor child!” some exclaimed, “How would he build in the future with only one arm!”_

_The neighbour was still complaining about his wall, and all the effort and time and money it had cost to build it like this._

_That day the sun wouldn’t set. The heat was intense and some black clouds swam about the sky. Ilir was being called back by the fairies, since the problem had been taken care of, and he should go home. Suddenly, the ground started to shake._

_The two children that had been saying goodbye hugged each other in fear. Ennio’s parents ran over to protect their son. Bricks were falling all over the place and the parents covered their son with their bodies in a heated embrace. They caught Ilir as well since he was already next to Ennio._

_It was clear what was happening. The city was being destroyed._

_The fairies had suspected it would. The Great Guardian of Sentiments had been angered, his fury had been awakened by how the adults of the city had treated Ennio, who just was a poor hungry child, and now everything was falling in ruins._

_The fairies found themselves unprepared. Ilir had nothing to do with this. He had to be taken back home. After an attempt to send him flying home through their magic, they found him still embraced with Ennio, and in turn also with Ennio’s parents. Uniting all of their forces, the fairies succeeded in the end to send Ilir home, but with an unexpected turn of events: Ennio and his parents found themselves in that far away country too, the country that was Ilir’s home. All of them were sat in a park, while far away, the perfect city was falling in ruins._

_Ilir’s family lived in the countryside. The fields were green, full of crops, and the family’s famous apple trees threw beautiful shade across the land. The people smiled a lot. Everyone greeted each other when they saw each other._

_Ennio and his parents would stay in this country. They didn’t have a home anymore, their city was destroyed, and they were far away from any place they knew, transported by the fairies magic as they had been. Ennio and his family were welcomed joyously by the inhabitants of the village. They considered them desperately in need of help and so their attention and care were great. It was strange at first, for Ennio and his parents, to live in this new country, there was so much they had to get used to, but they found they liked life there._

_Ennio met the other children, besides Ilir, and with a great surprise he discovered the games they played. Those simple ones that were played outside, with hoops and balls and little bones, together with so many other children, and the ones that were played inside, with wooden toys or soft dolls, or at a table with dice and paper. He never had so much fun before._

_During the first year Ennio and his parents would move from one family to another. The people form those parts had the habit of offering to their guests the most beautiful room in the house and of cooking the best food that they had. These people were easy to trust. It warmed their hearts that Ennio and his parents did not miss anything. And Ennio and his family would never forget them._

_In the meanwhile, Ennio’s father became a builder; he opened a workshop and soon began to earn well. He adapted to the tastes of his new country, and promise to never get so carried away by beauty again as the people in his previous city had. Ennio’s mother became a teacher, and with the money they saved, they could build their own house, a small one, not made for beauty but for comfort. It had a little garden too, and Ennio was happy. Ilir was his best friend and they never abandoned each other until the end of their days. Even when they grew up and life took them far away from each other, their hearts remained forever close._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is quite a different chapter from usual, and I'm curious to see what you think of it!
> 
> Now, some credit where credit is due:  
> The fairy tale comes from a document on the website of the Puglia library (http://biblioteca.consiglio.puglia.it/). Unfortunately, the link that I had is broken and I can't find it again, but I'll try to find out more information. The translation from Italian was done for me by Tsveta, thank you so much for your help!! I edited the translation to make it fit better to the story, so any and all changes from the original and any mistakes are all on me. 
> 
> If you enjoyed the chapter, please leave a comment? :) Thank you for reading!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the day after the storm started, but that doesn't mean it's over yet. What does that mean for our dear people on the island, who are running out of food, and running out of health?

Like a few days ago, Ermal awoke disoriented. Again, the window wasn’t where he expected it to be. It wasn’t in its standard place where it was in his bedroom, but also not like it had been the past few mornings on his right side in the kitchen. Furthermore, he found himself in a rather cramped position at what turned out the foot of a full bed, legs pulled up to his chest and something poking in his arm.

He blinked a few times, sitting up carefully to not disturb anyone else. Memories came back to him when he saw the three other sleeping forms and heard the rain still hit the window with force. The wind seemed to have lessened a little, but maybe he just had gotten used to it. What was certain, was that now the morning was breaking. They had made it through the night, mostly asleep even, which was not quite what Ermal had expected when he started reading, when he first realized that both children were more affected by the weather than they logically should have been.

He remembered reading the story that used to be his favourite growing up, and he remembered that when he had finished it, both Libero and Anita had been fast asleep. Even though they slept, Ermal hadn’t wanted to leave them, what if they woke up again, at some point in the night, and were scared by the storm again? No, he would stay with them.

At first, he had stayed awake, sitting on the foot of the bed, gaze directed at the sleeping children and Fabrizio, but at some point, clearly his tiredness had taken over. He had no idea how long he had slept, but his cramped legs told him he hadn’t moved in quite a while, and he wiggled his toes a little. As he moved a bit more, he also found the book buried in the blankets, poking his arm. He took it, and brushed the front cover, smiling down on it.

He wasn’t quite sure what time it was, but the light through the window showed that morning had broken, and he should start his day. Slowly, Ermal moved his legs, stretching them until he felt he could trust them to support his weight. He climbed off the bed, ready to leave the room, but he was stopped by Libero sitting up, still half asleep, blinking up at Ermal.

“It’s morning, I’ll go and turn off the light, you can sleep some more. Everything is alright,” Ermal told him softly, and Libero nodded sleepily before lying down again and burying himself in his blanket.

Ermal watched him for a little while, until he thought the boy had fallen asleep again. Then he went to the kitchen and lit the stove. He wanted to get the room nice and warm, so that it was a comfortable, inviting place, blocking out the bad weather outside. For a second, he wondered what he was going to do with the children today, but the thought quickly left his mind as he realized what else he had to get done today. First he decided to go and tend to the animals. The light could stay on a little longer, that wasn’t a bad thing in weather like this.

Ermal dressed warmly and stepped outside. He found that the wind had definitely not lessened, even on the little courtyard between the buildings, the wind pulled on his clothes and let his curls fly through the air. At least he had done well to secure all loose items the evening before, because they definitely would have been carried off by the wind and disappeared into the sea by now otherwise.

He fed the chickens and gathered the few eggs they had lain. He was glad for that, because he knew his new food stores would not arrive today. Andrea and Dino were not prone to take risks like this, they wouldn’t make the journey in weather like this. And they didn’t know how much Ermal wanted them to come, how much he  _ needed _ them to come.

Ermal could wait in the rain on the pier for their boat to arrive, but he would be waiting in vain, and he knew it was foolish. It was better to wait for better weather and hope it would come soon, and make do with whatever stores he had left for the time it took.

Next, he gave Fjolla clean water and some new food. For a few minutes, Ermal allowed himself to just stand there, hand buried in her coat, lost in all his worries and questions.

What was he going to do? How could they make it with so little food left, when he didn’t know when Andrea and Dino would come? Would Fabrizio get better? Would Ermal be able to nurse him by himself or would Fabrizio need a doctor that might come way too late? Would the children be okay? What had happened to them? What should he do to make them feel safe, make them feel at home? How long would they need to stay? Would it work, four people in his small house on this tiny island? If they left, would Ermal be able to go back to living on his own? He knew it had been just a few days, he knew that they would not stay, but a tiny part of him wished they would.

It was a tiny part he pushed down, though, because he knew it could not be. Ermal was grateful for the soft little bleat Fjolla let out, that roused him from his thoughts, endless circles of thoughts, because for every question he had, he had no answers, but he rather would be able to find three more questions.

Finally, he knew that he had to go back inside. Standing here, almost hiding here, would not help, and he should see how Fabrizio and the children were doing. Besides, the light needed to be extinguished soon, now that the sun was up, before his dwindling oil stores would be a cause for concern too.

Ermal woke Libero and Anita for breakfast when the table was ready, and also did for Fabrizio what he could, though it wasn’t much more than the day before. Some wet cloths to make him feel somewhat more comfortable, and try to keep him hydrated. Ermal tried to give him some food too, but again failed at that particular goal, and it was just another thing to add of his list of worries.

After breakfast, Ermal tidied and cleaned the house a little. The storm was still going strong, and Ermal wondered how long it would continue. This time of year, on this island out in the open sea, it always was hard to tell. Sometimes the bad weather stayed for days, sometimes it could be sunny and calm the next. He sincerely hoped, this would be one of the sudden storms, that would be quick to disappear and make room for the sun again. He needed his stores, he needed people to share his new situation with, and most of all, he needed a doctor. Ermal was starting to fear there might not be a lot of time left, if Fabrizio’s condition didn’t improve soon.

As he walked through the house, sometimes here, sometimes there, Ermal noticed that Anita was following him where he went, hovering around him. Now that he had noticed that, it was easy to spot that while Libero was sitting quietly on the bench, he wasn’t letting Ermal out of his sight.

Ermal checked on Fabrizio again, and on his way back to the living room grabbed the book of fairy tales. He couldn’t change the weather, but he could try to make Libero and Anita a little more at ease, and maybe let them forget their fear. Because that’s what it was, fear. He still didn’t know what had happened to them, but something with a storm was high on his list of possibilities now. Last night had been more than just uneasiness because of hard wind and relentless rain interrupting sleep. Even Fabrizio, while asleep, had seemed more restless, more distressed. So it was clear that something bad had happened, something with a storm.

Ermal made some tea, being generous with the sugar, and then settled on the bench next to Libero, with space on his other side for Anita.

“Shall I read to you?” Ermal asked, opening the book and waiting for Libero’s and Anita’s nod. He pointed them to their cups of tea and started reciting the story from memory, slowly, doing the voices as he remembered his mother doing them for him when he was little, and pointed at the few skilful drawings in the book.

He finished one, two stories like that, pausing in between to go to Fabrizio and to make more tea for himself and the children. It worked the way he had hoped: As he read, Libero and Anita seemed to forget the weather outside, and the memories it called up for them. They relaxed, and even leaned into his sides until it was easier to just put his arms around them and continue like that.

Finally, Ermal closed the book after finishing the second story. Time had passed by quicker than he had thought, and it was time to start cooking dinner.

“Do you want to help me?” he asked, tasking Anita with the washing of some vegetables and measuring out some spices, while he let Libero cut the vegetables under careful supervision. He wanted to keep them busy now, he needed to keep their mind off the storm.

Soup it was, for dinner, with some bread. Ermal rather thought this would be the menu for the coming days. It would be easier to make the stores he still had last longer like that. At least he still had flour for bread to supplement their meals.

As he filled the bowls, he gave both children a good portion of the vegetables, while he himself made do with mostly broth. He wasn’t the one who had to get his strength back and grow up strong. He also scooped a bowl of broth for Fabrizio, and he was going to make him drink it all.

When he came back to the kitchen after a rather long, but at least successful job, he saw that Libero and Anita had started on the dishes. They had gathered all bowls and cutlery, and were now watching the kettle heat up. Ermal was glad he came back at this exact moment – the filled kettle was heavy and it might have become dangerous with just the children and the heated water. They allowed him to help them with the water, but didn’t let him do anything else, even though Ermal tried.

“We always help with the dishes after dinner!” Anita explained, and Libero nodded while cleaning another bowl, then handing it to his sister so she could dry it. Ermal let them, his heart softening, and put all things back where they were supposed to go. They were quickly finished, working together, and Ermal thanked the two for their help.

This had saved him from the trouble of thinking of something to keep them occupied while he was busy doing the dishes and other chores. Of course, now he still had that problem, he still needed to go out into the storm and tend to the animals. He promised Libero and Anita that he would be back soon, it was all he could do.

He tried to go as fast as he could, caring for the animals and then also turning the light on and making his notes for the day, but it still took some time in which the children were alone. Finally, all his tasks were done, and Ermal returned to the house shaking the water out of his hair. With the wind, it hadn’t even mattered that he’d worn his rain coat’s hood. He hung up the coat to dry, and then went to look for Libero and Anita. They weren’t in the living room, so that left the bedroom. Of course, he could have known, because even if ill, their father would be a comforting presence protecting them against the storm.

And indeed, he found both children curled up on the bed. Ermal wasn’t sure if they were asleep or not, but decided to just let them be. He found Fabrizio awake though, eyes fixed on the darkening window.

“How are you feeling?” Ermal asked him softly, getting his attention. He only got a grimace in return and that told enough, Fabrizio still wasn’t feeling good. Still, it was more response than he’d been given the rest of the day or even yesterday, for that matter, so Ermal allowed himself a tiny flicker of hope that he might be getting better, and that that doctor wasn’t necessary after all. That flicker was dulled a little as he put his hand on Fabrizio’s forehead and found it glowing as much as it had done before.

Ermal helped him drink some more and asked if he could do anything else. Fabrizio just shook his head, and said, “I’ll sleep some more. And you’re already doing so much. Thank you.”

With a smile at Fabrizio who closed his eyes, Ermal left the room then, curling up in his rocking chair, listening to the wind howl around the house. He took up his knitting, a pair of socks that had been abandoned for a few days now, and that had to wait a little longer to be completed, as also now, the needles’ ticking noise did not sound through the room. Ermal’s hands were still, he was too caught up in his thoughts, tinted by tiredness as well, to focus on the pattern that was rather complicated. He had chosen it so that his lonely evenings in late winter and early spring would be a little less boring, but it wasn’t necessary anymore now that his life had taken such a turn. It was no longer lonely or boring, not for the moment. So the socks could wait.

Suddenly, he was roused from his thoughts by Libero walking into the room, clutching something in his hands. Ermal smiled at him as he came closer. He ended up standing in front of Ermal, staring shyly at the ground. Ermal noticed that what Libero was holding was in fact the book of fairy tales he had read from the previous night and during the day. He hadn’t realized it had disappeared from the bench where he left it that afternoon, but apparently it had become some object of comfort to Libero and Anita.

“Can’t you sleep? Shall I read to you?” Ermal asked, reaching out to take the book from Libero, expecting the answer to be yes. So he wasn’t quite prepared when Libero held on to it tightly, and shook his head. Ermal looked at him, wondering what he then could do, maybe Anita had woken up and was scared? Finally, Libero swallowed. He swallowed, then looked up, and said: “Can you teach me how to read?”

It took Ermal a second to respond to that, but then he did, because he knew he should focus on Libero’s question right now, and not on the fact that he was speaking to him.

Could he teach him how to read? He could. Ermal could teach Libero how to read. Of course he could, hadn’t he taught Sabina when they were young and had just moved, and their mother no longer had the money to spend on school? Of course he could teach Libero how to read.

And he told Libero so, earning him a small smile, that only grew when Ermal added that they could start the very next day, if Libero wanted.

“Do you think you can sleep now?” Ermal asked him then, “Or shall I read something anyway?”

Now Libero just shook his head at the last question, a smile on his face still and he turned back to the bedroom. Ermal followed him regardless, tucking him in the blanket, and then did the same for Anita, who was deep asleep.

“Come to me if there’s anything, okay?” Ermal said softly in Libero’s direction, and smiled when he could just see the blanket move in what was probably a nod.

“Okay, sleep well!” Ermal finally said, and left the room, leaving the light on.

No matter his tiredness before, he knew he would not be able to sleep immediately now. He sat down in his chair again, rocking back and forth, mulling over these new developments.

Libero had spoken to him! Just that fact alone sent a happy flutter through his chest. Ermal had been worried about the boy, but this made him hope that given time, Libero would be okay, would be more like the little boy he should be, that he probably, hopefully, had been, before whatever happened that made him and his sister and his father leave their home and end up on the island. It made Ermal think that maybe he was succeeding at making the children, or at least Libero, though he knew that Anita liked him too, feel comfortable and safe, at making them feel like they could trust him. It warmed his heart, it really did, that he managed this, and in such a short time.

He had sometimes wondered what it would be like, having children, though he had slowly started giving up the hope of ever having any of his own, but now he realized that he had vastly underestimated how much you could  _ feel _ . These weren’t even his own children, they’d been in his care for less than a week, and yet he would move heaven and earth for them if he had to, to keep them safe.

So of course he would teach Libero how to read, he would if it was the last thing he did, because this wish was important enough to the boy that he had broken is silence.

Ermal wondered if he still had the books he had used to teach Sabina all those years ago. For a long time, they had stood on his shelves, but he wasn’t sure if he had taken them with him to the island. He got up from his chair and grabbed a lamp before going over to the shelves wedged in under the spiralling stairs up to the tower, shelves filled with books.

He crouched down in front of them, letting the lamp’s light illuminate the titles. He hadn’t been too selective when packing his things for his move to the island, he had just put everything in crates, so the books he was looking for should be here.

Where, though, was the question. Ermal let his eyes wander over the titles, trying not to get distracted by the memories they called up or by the scenes her remembered and wanted to reread. Not now, now he had a mission. Finally, he found what he was looking for, tucked away in a corner. The old book that had taught him the alphabet, that had taught Rinald the alphabet, and that he had used to teach Sabina the alphabet.

Ermal sat there with the thin book in his hands, his head full of memories, until they were replaced by a thought directed at the future. Even though it was in his bookshelf, he hadn’t thought he would use the book ever again, but here he was, teaching another child how to read with the same old book.

On the shelf, next to the gap that before had held the alphabet, were some thin books, suited for children. Ermal took those too, and put them all on the table. He stared at them for a second. It wasn’t much, but it would be enough to make Libero’s request come true.

In his mind, Ermal went back to when he taught Sabina, the things that worked, the things that hadn’t. The things she had particularly struggled with, and the games he had come up with to help her. The same things might not work for Libero, but he would try his best.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow he would start.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this took a while, with the holidays in between. But don't worry, I'm back, and there's a lot more to come.  
> I'd be very happy if you tell me your thoughts on the chapter! <3


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Tomorrow he would start" - Tomorrow is here, so it is time for reading lessons. And it is also time to get some answers from Fabrizio on what happened to him and the children.

Ermal did start, not too long after breakfast. He had left the books on the table, and he noticed Libero glancing at them throughout the meal. After putting all breakfast items away, Ermal sat down at the table again, next to Libero, and pulled the books towards him.

He wasn’t quite sure where to start, how to start. At least Sabina had learned the beginnings at school, just before they moved. She could read her first letters when Ermal took over, she had understood the principles behind it. Libero didn’t yet, and it left Ermal clueless.

“I’m going to teach you how to read and how to write, okay?” Ermal said, “They’re related, so it won’t be so hard.” Or so he hoped. “All the words in a book are just the same as the words we speak, we just found a smart way to write down the sounds we make.”

He proceeded to explain how the twenty-something letters of the alphabet represented the sounds. Throughout the explanation, Libero had been nodding occasionally, and Ermal was a bit more hopeful that he could do this.

As he was completing his talk on sounds and letters, they were joined by Anita.

“What are you doing?” she asked, looking between her brother and Ermal.

“I’m teaching Libero how to read,” Ermal said.

“Oh. Can you teach me too?”

That gave Ermal a pause. He probably could, but would Libero be okay with sharing his time with his sister, when he had so specifically asked Ermal for help, had spoken, even. Ermal knew how important this was for him. Luckily, the answer didn’t depend on him. Libero climbed off his chair and patted on the seat for Anita, who climbed on it, curiously looking at the books on the table. Libero, meanwhile, took a chair from the other side of the table, and put it at the head of the table on Ermal’s other side.

Ermal smiled at him, and then turned to Anita to give her a quick recap of what he had told Libero before. Then he moved on to the next bit, making the children aware of the different sounds in spoken words. He made it into a game, letting them rhyme and asking them to spot particular sounds in random words he was saying.

Libero understood the principles quite quickly, while Anita needed a bit more time to get it. It didn’t matter, they had time. These lessons didn’t have to take long, just a little bit every day would go a long way.

Ermal ended the session with joust reading out loud to the two, pointing out the words as he read them. He wasn’t sure how much it would help, but maybe it could help Libero and Anita make some abstract connections.

When he finished the story, he closed the book.

“We will continue tomorrow,” he said.

Anita nodded and left the table carrying one of the books with her, very carefully. She settled on the bench, pretending to read it very seriously, and Ermal wasn’t going to be the one to tell her she was holding the book upside down. She would find out when she got to one of the illustrations.

Instead, he turned his attention to Libero, who was still sitting at the table. Before Ermal could say anything, it was Libero who broke the silence between them first. He had spoken occasionally when the games called for it, but Ermal had expected it to be limited to just the reading lessons. But no.

“Only tomorrow?” Libero’s voice sounded small and a little disappointed.

“Maybe tonight, if I have time, okay? But it will take time, to learn how to read and write. It’s a little like learning how to walk or talk. When you can do it, it seems so easy and natural, but it took you really long to learn it, and a lot of practice. So we’ll just do a little bit every day.”

At that, Libero nodded, and Ermal thought that would be the end of it, but when he got up to put the books away, Libero looked at him, and said a soft “Thank you” that melted Ermal’s heart. He put his hands briefly on the boy’s shoulders, squeezing softly, before Libero scrambled off the chair to join his sister in her game.

Ermal watched them for a second, and then went on with his chores. He put the books on the edge of the table and the moved through the kitchen to get something to drink for Fabrizio. He was awake when Ermal went to him, and Ermal allowed himself to keep that little flicker of hope that had started yesterday. 

He promised Fabrizio that he would be back later. Maybe they could talk, if Fabrizio felt good enough, or Ermal could just offer his company or some entertainment. He could read, for example, or find something else. No doubt, Fabrizio was getting bored of his predicament.  If Ermal was honest with himself, he rather hoped Fabrizio could talk, talk properly, though he knew that he shouldn't push the other man. He just really wanted some answers, some idea of what had happened to Fabrizio and his children to make them end up here. But no matter how he wanted those answers, he knew that the story most likely wasn't a happy one, so he would be patient. He didn't want to make Fabrizio think on the situation he had left behind too much, not if it might make his health worse again.

First, though, he really had to tend to the animals, something he had skipped this morning in his eagerness to teach Libero, and not make the boy wait longer than necessary. Ermal wanted him to know that his wishes were important, and he didn't want him to be disappointed or regret asking for this. So he had prioritised the reading lesson, after turning off the light and a quick log book entry, and hadn't checked on the animals yet. First, he fed the chickens, and collected their eggs. They clucked at him accusingly, but were easily soothed with some extra grains. Ermal sat down on the little stool he kept in the coop and let the chickens eat of his hand. One of the chickens clucked and hopped on his lap, flapping her wings.

"Hi, mama," Ermal whispered as he stroked her feathers. He knew it was silly, and the chickens' names had started out as a joke, but sitting here like this, it was the closest he could be to his family. He wished he could go to them right now, the weight of being alone suddenly hit him, the weight of all his responsibilities and uncertainties. He wished there was someone to help him deal with it all, tell him what to do, brush a hand over his hair and tell him everything would be alright. The chicken on his lap clucked at him some more, raising him from his thoughts, and he clucked back at her before gently setting her down again. He had more to do.

He sighed once as he closed the coop's door, and then went to look for Fjolla. She wasn't near her stable, and she hadn't come to Ermal as she usually would in the morning, happy for food and happy for attention. Well, it was an island, she couldn't be far. Glad that the weather was a bit better from the day before – it was dry for the time being, and the wind had lessened slightly, though still going strong enough –, Ermal dared to venture outside the little courtyard, brushing streaks of hair from his forehead and out of his eyes, only for them to be whipped back by the wind. Blinking his eyes against the combined assault of weather and hair, he saw Fjolla in the distance, taking shelter among the trees. He knew her woollen coat kept her warm and well protected against the elements, but he had not expected her to go so far from the comfort of her stable and the food to be found there. 

Ermal approached her, getting ready to pet her face and her wet coat, but before he could quite reach her, she bleated at him, and quickly went to stand on the other side of the tree.

"Ah, no, Fjolla, don't be like this," Ermal tried and followed her, but again, when he got closer, Fjolla walked away from him, still bleating reproachfully.

"I'm sorry I am late, but I'm here now, aren't I! Come, Fjolla," he said, but she didn’t come. She walked on, head high, back towards Ermal. They ended up on opposite sides of a tree, looking at each other around the trunk. Whenever Ermal went left, Fjolla would go right, and whenever he went right she would go left. After a few times, Ermal huffed a sigh. This was ridiculous, here he was, a grown man playing hide and seek with a sheep, because she was indignant that she hadn’t gotten her usual amount of attention. Still, part of him didn’t want to leave it like this, silly as it was, he knew that when Fabrizio and his children had left the island, it would again be just him and the animals. It would be lonely, extra lonely now he knew how it could also be, and he needed to keep himself in Fjolla’s good graces.

He also knew that going around this tree in circles was foolish, so he sat down at the base of the tree, back leaning against it, regretting the decision immediately as water from the wet ground seeped into the fabric of his trousers. He kept sitting, though, it was wet now anyway, that wouldn’t change.

Ermal tried to keep his thoughts away from those thoughts and worries that occupied him. Like yesterday, he didn’t have any more answers, it wouldn’t do any good at all. He kept his eyes on the leaves above him, as an occasional drop fell down, shaken by the wind. At least, he hoped that was all it was, and not a sudden return of the rain. In that case, Fjolla had to wait for better weather to get her attention.

He closed his eyes, leaning against the tree’s rough trunk. It took some time, but then what he had hoped for happened. He felt hot air on his cheek and looked up to find Fjolla sniffing at his face. Ermal smiled and slowly let his hand come up to stroke just below her chin, he knew she liked that best. It seemed he’d been forgiven.

He spent more time with her, petting her and combing some sticks from her coat, telling her more about what had happened the past few days. Finally, he thought he could leave her without any issues. Even though he wanted nothing more than get a different pair of trousers, he first stopped by the storeroom to get what he needed for dinner.

He put the basket of eggs on a shelf, empty as most of them were, and looked around. There were some potatoes left, and he had some pickled vegetables that could go with those. Four sad-looking carrots. Quite a lot of onions, and then some odds bits and pieces. How long was this going to last them? Not long, that was sure. Ermal supposed he had flour for bread, and the eggs, and maybe he could get some fish if he put the traps out again, but would that be enough? They would need vegetables, fruit…

Hopefully, the improvement in the weather was a trend that would continue. Hopefully, this was the last of the bad weather for a while. Hopefully, Andrea and Dino would come soon. If the wind would die down, they might be here tomorrow, even! It was a stretch, but it was possible. Ermal was holding on to small hopes now.

He collected his meagre amounts of food and went back to the house, putting everything away in the cupboards. He then went to get some more water, and as he did so, he felt rain drops again fall from the sky. He sighed and shot a look at the grey overcast sky, as if that would make it stop, and went inside again.

Libero and Anita weren’t to be seen in the living room, but Ermal found them when he slowly pushed open the door to the bedroom, curled up on the bed. Each was on one side of Fabrizio, who had his arms around his children. He was awake, talking to them, and the sight alone lifted Ermal’s spirits. He was really feeling better then?

He wanted to close the door again, giving this family some time together, some privacy, but before he could, Anita had spotted him.

“Ermal! Come!”

He stepped into the room, unable to resist Anita’s words, waiting for what she had to tell him, before he would go.

“Ermal, come, there’s still space!” She pressed herself a bit further into Fabrizio’s side, making place for Ermal to join them.

“I can’t…” Ermal started, but stopped when he found Fabrizio’s eyes, in a face that smiled at him and nodded towards the mattress.

It seemed he had no choice but to join them, though he still felt that he shouldn’t, he didn’t have a place here, he should let Fabrizio and the children catch up on the time they’d lost together already, after what they’d been through – whatever that was.

He lay there, listening to Anita’s chatter about the past few days, all the things she’d done, the stories Ermal had told her and Libero, leaning into the arm Fabrizio had put around Anita, trying not to fall off the bed.

“And Ermal said he would teach us how to read and write! We started this morning, and I can almost read the book, I tried!”

Libero scoffed at that, but didn’t say anything, and Fabrizio smiled, directing his gaze to Ermal, gratitude shining from his eyes. Ermal blushed at it. Gratitude wasn’t necessary, not at all, he did what he could do to help, and besides, Libero had  _ asked _ him to.

“Libero, Anita, could you please go to the living room to play? I’d like to talk with Ermal for a bit,” Fabrizio then said, and Ermal couldn’t help but freeze for a second. He also had wanted to talk to Fabrizio, but now that the moment was here he wanted to stay in the safe land of not knowing anything. He was a little scared of what Fabrizio might tell him, of what had happened to them. It had to be something bad, and he just wished nothing bad ever happened to this man and his sweet children.

Libero and Anita scrambled off the bed, Anita climbing over Ermal’s legs to slide to the ground, and Libero closed the door behind them. Ermal sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed till his feet touched the floor, and faced Fabrizio.

“Thank you,” Fabrizio started, and even before he had finished the first word, Ermal tried to interrupt him, because this wasn’t necessary. He was just doing what anyone would do if a boat arrived on their shores.

“No, let me continue. Thank you, for taking care of us, for doing so much more than the bare minimum. You didn’t have to find games for Libero and Anita. You didn’t have to comfort them in the storm like you did. Most of all, you have no obligation to teach them anything. So thank you, thank you for doing all of that.”

Ermal was silent, he had no idea what to say to that, not when Fabrizio sounded so sincere, and so unwilling to let Ermal brush it off.

Fabrizio was silent too, but had a small, smug smile on his face, as if he had achieved exactly what he wanted.

“So you’re feeling better?” Ermal asked a minute later, hope tinging his voice.

Fabrizio nodded. “Yes, I’m still tired, but my head is much clearer, and I can think again, which is nice.”

Ermal reached out to put a hand to Fabrizio’s forehead, checking his temperature. It was a bit warm, but that might as well have been from being wrapped in the blanket as he was, rather than the fever.

“Can I get you something? Some water? Something to eat?”

“Yes, that would be nice, but no, wait, later, stay, I would like to talk to you.”

Ermal sat back down on the bed, ready as he was to do whatever he could for Fabrizio. He looked expectantly at Fabrizio, wondering what he would say, now that his thanks had been given.

“How are Libero and Anita? How do they seem to you? Do you think they are okay?” Fabrizio asked the questions hesitatingly, as if the possible answers scared him.

"It's hard to say," Ermal said, honestly, "I don't know them well – I didn't know them before."

Fabrizio’s eyes were pleading, worried, and Ermal knew that his answer wasn’t as reassuring as Fabrizio probably needed to hear, nor quite as positive as it could be. The children didn’t seem to be doing badly, all things he considered. He tried again, and continued his speech after a short pause to gather his thoughts.

"Anita seems okay, she was scared by the storm, but generally she seems sweet and happy, I would say. She got used to being here quickly. But Libero... He doesn't talk," Ermal said, his voice low as he reached the end.

Fabrizio nodded, he had clearly noticed that too.

"Or, he doesn't talk much," Ermal corrected himself, offering Fabrizio that hope that Libero would be okay. "He asked me to teach him how to read. And then during the lesson, he also talked occasionally."

Fabrizio’s eyes shined at that news, and Ermal knew his own mirrored that. "Do you see now why I couldn't refuse?"

Fabrizio only nodded, swallowing another thank you on his lips. He didn’t say anything else, and in the following silence, Ermal couldn’t help himself.

"What happened to you? Where are you from?" He blurted out, though quickly caught himself and continued, "No, wait, you don't have to say, forget I asked.”

He was cursing himself. He had been determined to take this slow, to let Fabrizio decide which topics to breach, he didn't want to overwhelm him or upset him. And yet, despite his intentions, here he was, saying exactly what he had planned not to.

Ermal was looking desperately for something else to say, his mind coming up blank. The children, something about the children? – but before he could formulate anything, Fabrizio shook his head, and started speaking, softly.

“No, it’s okay. Those are natural questions, you would want to know who you have taken in.”

“It’s not…”

“I’ll tell you. I’ll probably feel better, not having to carry this burden alone.”

Fabrizio took a deep breath before going on, and Ermal closed his eyes for a second. This sounded so serious, like something terrible had happened, just like he had feared, and he wasn’t sure if he could listen to it, whatever it was.

“We’re from south of here. From a small village, San Basilio,  you wouldn’t have heard of it. Last week, there was a storm – with the size of it, I don’t doubt you noticed it here too.”

At that, Ermal nodded, but didn’t interrupt Fabrizio’s story. He seemed turned into his own mind, stating facts, not telling a story, and it only scared Ermal more.

“It was in the night, the sea… There was a spring tide in the first place, and with the storm surge the water was so high, so powerful… I haven’t seen it like that before. The village flooded. We tried to get everyone to the church, but we lost some people. The water surprised them, or they wanted to stay with their house, their animals, their boats. It was all they had. It was a terrible night…”

Fabrizio really seemed lost in memories now, memories Ermal thought he rather should be called up from.

“And then?” he asked softly, getting back Fabrizio’s attention to the present. He blinked a few times, but then continued.

“In the morning we saw the extent of the damage. The water had receded, it was low tide now, the storm already much less strong, it was hardly a storm anymore. But it had done its damage. The lowest parts of the village were just lost, there was nothing more than driftwood left of the houses. We all gathered in the church, as it was built on a low hill, and tried to organize, see wat was gone, what we still had, what still could be saved…”

Fabrizio trailed off again, and Ermal couldn’t blame him. Because no matter how horrible the things were that he talked about now, Ermal felt there was still more to come, and there was still worse to come.

“But then… There was a group of bandits and they… raided what was left of us. They came out of nowhere, some of them had horses… It was chaos, absolute chaos. I was with Libero and Anita, and I managed to get us to my boat. It had somehow made it through the storm, apparently sheltered in the harbour from the worst of the wind and water. It was our salvation.”

Ermal knew what happened next, or he had pieced enough together to know. Fabrizio, Libero, and Anita had floated on the waves, in a boat that wasn’t really made for long distance seafaring like that. Finally, it had ended up on Ermal’s island, with Libero who had stopped talking, Anita who was ill, and Fabrizio who had pushed himself to exhaustion trying to get his children to safety.

“And… The village, do you think…?” Ermal asked, even though he didn’t truly want to know the answer.

Fabrizio shook his head, “I… On the first evening, I saw a pillar of smoke on the horizon. I don’t think there’s anything to go back to.”

He said it matter-of-factly, like it didn’t mean anything, like he’d brought news of having caught a fish when out fishing, but Ermal could see how saying that out loud broke the man. No doubt, it made it real in a way that it hadn’t been before, crushing some hope he didn’t even allow himself to have.

There was a paleness to his cheeks that wasn’t there before, a weariness in his eyes that Ermal also didn’t remember seeing, and his hands were gripping the fabric of his blanket tightly. Ermal could only watch helplessly on as emotion took over. Fabrizio’s shoulders jerked with the sobs he unsuccessfully tried to suppress, and he pressed a hand to his eyes to hide his tears.

Ermal wondered how best to comfort him. They hardly knew each other – would it be okay to hug him? But then, this man had lost everything, friends, family maybe, his village, his possessions… All that remained of the life he had had up until a few days ago were his children and his boat… That was too heavy a burden to bear alone. So Erma sank down on the bed next to Fabrizio, and first put a tentative, light hand on his shoulder. It wasn’t shrugged off, so slowly, he reached out and put his other hand on Fabrizio’s other shoulder, pulling him into a hug. It was the only way he could offer the slightest bit of comfort, or try to.

They sat there like that, Ermal holding on to Fabrizio, attempting to give him a shelter so he could break through this wave of emotion. He didn’t know how much time passed, though in the back of his mind a small voice wondered if Libero and Anita were okay. He ignored that voice, Fabrizio was more important right now.

Eventually, Fabrizio seemed to calm down a bit, and Ermal put some space between them, giving him a chance to breathe. Fabrizio wiped at his eyes, hiding his gaze from Ermal. After a while, though, he looked up, his eyes still shiny with unshed tears, and stared at Ermal like a lost little boy who, for the first time, had found the world a harsher place than he could ever have imagined.

“What will I do now?” Fabrizio whispered when his tears had stopped, the despair clearly audible in his voice, his eyes still on Ermal, waiting for the answer.

“Stay here, if you want,” Ermal offered immediately, putting a hand on Fabrizio’s arm. “You’re welcome to stay. Then breathe. Take your time. Focus on what you didn’t lose, on what they didn’t take from you. You have your life, you have your children. Go on for them, they need you. So stay, get your strength back, and then decide what you will do. There is no hurry.”

Fabrizio listened to him, eyes wide, blinking, and then nodded. He settled in his pillows, clearly exhausted by all the talking and the emotions, and Ermal couldn’t do anything but sit there until Fabrizio had fallen asleep, hopefully in a calm and restful sleep. Then Ermal got up, his head full of thoughts, and he’d have loved to take some time and sort through them, but he couldn’t. There were two children, a handful of animals, and a lighthouse to look after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I'm sorry for putting them through this.  
> Please leave your thoughts in a comment? <3


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ermal has the answers to his questions, but no solutions for his problems. They're still on the island, the four of them, with no more food than before, and no certainty of when the new supplies might come... Or is there finally some good luck to be had?

Ermal didn’t speak to Fabrizio again that day. Whenever he entered the bedroom, Fabrizio was asleep, or feigning sleep, for the bread and water Ermal left on the bedside table were gone the next time he came in. He couldn’t blame the man.

What he had been through, what he now had to deal with, Ermal wasn’t sure if he himself could. So he gave Fabrizio space, some time to get a grip on his emotions. He hoped it would be enough. All he could do was make sure he had something to drink, something to eat, and be as comfortable as he could be.

That was a hard enough task, really, Ermal mused the next morning, standing in the kitchen after his morning’s chores, looking rather desperately at what he’d taken from the stores to last them today. How was he going to make enough decent meals out of this to get them through? Especially with Fabrizio’s appetite picking up. He couldn’t get his strength back on just bread and water…

There were the eggs, at least, and Ermal had seldom been more grateful for his brave little chickens. It filled up their breakfast, especially because he happened to collect five eggs today. The left-over egg he divided up between the children and Fabrizio, they needed the nutrients more than he did.

When he went back into the bedroom to collect Fabrizio’s breakfast things, he found him awake for a change.

“How are you?” Ermal asked softly, as he stood there with the tray in his hands, not sure if he was welcome to linger.

“Better,” Fabrizio answered, sounding sincere enough, and Ermal was glad that at least it wasn’t a short “fine” that screamed the opposite.

“Good. Can I do anything? Do you need something?”

At that, Fabrizio shook his head. “No, you’re doing so much already, and you can’t change what happened.”

For a second it seemed as if he was going to say something else, but he closed his mouth again, averting his eyes to the window rather than Ermal’s face. Ermal wondered what else was on Fabrizio’s mind, but he knew he shouldn’t pry. It might have been more thanks that Ermal didn’t want to hear, or platitudes that everything would be fine that no doubt sounded too fake to both of them for now.

“I’ll be here if you want to talk, about anything. Okay?”

Fabrizio nodded at that, dragging his eyes back to Ermal slowly, but didn’t say anything else.

Ermal left the room, lost in thoughts on Fabrizio and the turn of events that had brought him and his children here. He did the breakfast dishes, and was ready to move on to other chores, other mindless chores, still lost in thought.

He didn’t quite make it that far. Because when he turned around, he found two children staring expectantly up at him. It was a journey he had to make, to get from his thoughts back to the present, figuring out what it was he should do.

It took a soft “Ermal?” from Libero to jolt him into understanding.

Libero speaking, of course, reading lessons.

“I’ll be right there,” he told them, taking the excuse of getting some more water to clear his head a little, and change to a mindset more suited to teaching. What definitely helped get him from his dark thoughts was the weather. The wind was now no more than a steady breeze, the clouds were breaking occasionally to let some sun rays reach down to earth. If this weather would hold, he was hopeful Dino and Andrea might come soon. Not today, maybe, that would be too perfect, but tomorrow, surely? They could make it another day, even with the limited amounts of food they had left.

That hope was enough for him to be able to go back inside, sit at the table, and start his lesson. He did mostly the same as the day before, variations on similar games, rhyming spotting sounds. It was clear that Libero was excited to try something more challenging, so Ermal gave him words now, letting him figure out the different sounds in it. It was harder, definitely, but there was a light in his eyes that told Ermal that Libero found it interesting rather than too difficult, a puzzle to be solved rather than impossible connections that had to be made.

Anita didn’t completely understand this new task, the step too great from the previous questions that she still struggled with. Ermal wondered how he should structure this, with the two children on such different levels of comprehension. He had no idea what would be best, and for now he decided to just go on as he had, repeating everything when necessary.

Because both children were eager to get some “real” reading and writing done, so Ermal gave in, and wrote for both of them their name on a piece of paper, slowly, clearly, letter by letter. He pointed out the sounds that went with them, and let them trace the shapes too.

The letters written by Libero and Anita were disproportionate and shaky, but Ermal was still proud of them. These were their first letters, and every start was hard. He saved the papers to show to Fabrizio later, and then settled on the bench with Libero and Anita on either side of him, reading another chapter from the book he had selected.

He had finished reading, they were now just chatting, talking about everything and nothing, Ermal’s chores forgotten for the moment. He enjoyed this, a calm afternoon with both children, his worries lessened now from the days before. Fabrizio was better, at least healthwise, the weather had improved, and their prospects looked a lot brighter now.

And it seemed their luck hadn’t run out yet.

Right in the middle of one of Anita’s sentences, a sound reached Ermal’s ears, a faint sound that he had been hoping to hear for days now. In fact, he had been hoping for it so much that he at first thought the sound was just a figment of his imagination. He gently shushed Anita, and got up to listen in the door opening. He tried not to expect anything, it was most likely just wishful thinking fed by the hope he felt…

But no – there it was again! The unmistakable, familiar, and oh so welcome sound of the horn Andrea would blow to signal his and Dino’s approach to the island. A smile formed on his face. Andrea and Dino were coming! Help was coming, and new supplies!

“What is it, Ermal?” Anita asked him, wondering at his behaviour.

“There’s a boat coming to us,” he told her, not explaining much, but he couldn’t right now, his mind too much in disarray, still flipping between disbelief and giddiness. He wanted to run out to the pier, see with his own eyes that it was really true, that his ears were not playing tricks on him.

A tiny part managed to call himself to order. He couldn’t just run out, not now, not with Libero and Anita. He had to make sure they were looked after. He was glad Fabrizio was so much better.

Ermal entered the bedroom after a brief pause and a knock on the door. With Fabrizio feeling better, it would be good to start adding such courtesies to his behaviour. At least Fabrizio was awake this time, and he also looked quite bored. Ermal would try to do something in any other case, offer reading, some simple game, anything, but not now, he had other things on his mind.

“Please, can you look after Libero and Anita for a little while? The boat with new supplies is arriving, and I don’t want them to get scared by people they don’t know or get hurt between all the crates and sacks.”

Ermal knew he was rambling, he knew he was giving off a very nervous vibe, and it was probably worrisome, but he couldn’t help himself. The new supplies were coming!

“Sure,” Fabrizio nodded, looking intently at Ermal, but saying nothing else, asking no questions.

Ermal nodded back, restlessly, still with too much energy, but it had to go somewhere. Leaving the bedroom door open, he found the children in the living room. He quickly told Libero and Anita that he would be busy, but that their father would be there for them if they needed something. Then he went out, quickly crossing the island, until he reached the pier. He could see the boat in the distance, but he knew from experience that it would take longer than he thought for Dino and Andrea to make it to the island.

Ermal paced the pier impatiently, the wood creaking beneath his feet. Every time he turned to again face the water, his eyes focused on the dot in the distance, the boat. He knew he wouldn’t be able to see any progress, no change in covered distance with such short increments of time in watching, but still he was disappointed that it took so long for the boat to arrive.

Finally, finally it did, after what felt like centuries to Ermal. He wouldn’t be surprised if his incessant pacing had worn a track in the pier’s wood.

As the boat approached the pier, Dino and Andrea took the white sails down, and the leeboards were up. Ermal mindlessly returned the greetings his friends yelled at him, and then when the boat was close enough, secured it on a pole with the rope Dino threw to him. Then Ermal jumped aboard the boat, falling into a hug with both of his friends in turn.

His behaviour was not that much out of the ordinary, no matter how much his past week had been, and he was always glad to see people after his month of alone on the island. Andrea happily chattered about something or other that had happened in the town, but Ermal didn’t pay him any attention, right now it was enough to just be in the presence of his friends, slowly settling in the knowledge that he was not alone. At least he didn’t pay them any particular attention, until Andrea mentioned his name, followed by a question.

“Hey Ermal, there’s a boat on your beach. Did you know there’s a boat on your beach?”

That’s when Ermal’s attention was whipped back to his friends, Andrea focused on securing the sails and the boom, but Dino’s eyes were on him, attentively watching him. Somehow, Andrea’s question made it real in a way that it hadn’t been before, jumpstarting the realizations. There  _ was _ a boat on his beach. There were people on his island, people who needed help, who needed help so desperately.

But now Andrea and Dino were also here, he was no longer alone. They could help him figure out what would need to be done. They brought new supplies, he didn’t need to fear hunger now. They would tell the townspeople, they would help Ermal get the things the children needed, so he could take care of them properly, like they deserved. They could bring him a doctor, to finally check on Fabrizio, and on the children too. Ermal was no longer alone.

The weight of the responsibility that he had for these three people that washed up on his beach suddenly left him, now that he could share it with Dino and Andrea, now that he finally had someone to talk to, someone who would help. The sudden change left Ermal reeling, and he struggled to keep his balance on the boat bobbing on the waves.

“Is everything alright, Ermal? What happened?” Dino asked, worry in his voice as he kept a steady grip on Ermal’s arm.

“I’m so glad you’re here,” Ermal managed only, his voice barely audible above the rush of the waves and the wind. Then his emotions took over, and he didn’t have the strength to push them down. He collapsed into Dino’s chest, tears rolling down his cheeks. Dino’s arms tightened around him, and he felt Andrea’s hand run in comforting strokes along his back.

Eventually, Ermal’s tears dried to an occasional sniffle, and he could hear Andrea and Dino talking softly over his head, though the words were still no more than strings of sounds. Even though he would like to stay there, hiding from the world, he knew that he had to face it again soon. His friends were no doubt worried and other people relied on him too. So he untangled himself slowly and wiped at the streaks the tears had left on his cheeks.

“Here,” Andrea said, and offered him a handkerchief. Ermal took it and granted himself a few seconds more to hide his face from his friends’ worried looks.

“Let’s go inside, get you some tea, and you can tell us what happened, okay?” Dino suggested gently, and started to make his way to the pier, guiding Ermal with him.

“No, wait! We can’t! They can’t see me like this, and they will be scared, they don’t know you!” Ermal exclaimed, stopping in his tracks.

“Who?” Dino asked, confused, now hesitating where he stood. Andrea’s eyes flickered towards the small boat lying on the sand. He guided Ermal to the hatch cover of their own boat to sit down.

"Can you tell us what happened?" he asked, just as gently as Dino had done before, as he sat next to him. 

It took a second for Ermal to gather his thoughts, figure out how to explain everything in a way that Dino and Andrea would understand. 

"So, the boat, I found it on the beach about a week ago. In it there were a man and two children. The girl was ill, and all of them were tired and hungry, they'd been on the sea for days." 

There was surprise on his friends' faces, and Ermal knew how unlikely it sounded. 

"Are they..."  

"They're okay, I think. They're in the house now. The girl got better, but then the man got really ill, worse than she ever was, and I was really afraid, fearing the worst... But he seems better now. There's a boy too, he doesn't talk much." 

"Do you know what happened to them?" 

Ermal nodded at Andrea's question. "I talked with the man yesterday. They're from south of here, the village they lived in was badly destroyed by that big storm a few weeks ago, and then a group of bandits attacked what was left. Fabrizio took his children and fled, but they didn't have anything, hardly any food or water..." 

"So they've been here since?" 

Ermal nodded again.  "I'm just so glad you're here," he said again, resting his head against Dino's shoulder. "I don't think I could have done this alone much longer... I was so afraid something bad would happen. And the food was almost gone, and then with the last storm, you didn't come..." 

He trailed off, focusing on the feeling of Dino's hand running through his hair so he wouldn't start crying again. 

"We're here now, we will help. Everything will be okay," Dino murmured, and Ermal knew he could believe him. 

They sat there for a while, until Ermal had calmed down again, and then Andrea got to action. 

"Let's get a few crates out, and then you can introduce us, Ermal?" 

They got the crates from the hold and carried them to the beach, stacking them there first, and then moving them up to the store rooms. It was heavy work, and in the beginning of moving to the island, Ermal had wondered if it wouldn't be easier with a cart of some sort, but he had found that it would get stuck in mud on rainy days, and stuck in the loose sand on dry. So, carrying it was. 

After having transferred half of the new supplies up the hill, it was time for a break. All three had a quick wash at the water pump, and then they went inside the house, Ermal leading the way. He found Fabrizio sitting at the table, pale, but seemingly okay. Libero and Anita were sitting next to him. They had been supplied with paper and pencils, but the large white spaces showed Ermal that they hadn't been focused on drawing at all. 

"These are Dino and Andrea," he introduced his friends, "And these Fabrizio, Libero, and Anita." 

Both children were shy, even Anita leaning into Fabrizio's side, hiding. 

Dino and Andrea took a seat at the table, while Ermal made tea for all of them. The three men at the table kept a superficial conversation going, sharing comments on the island and the weather. When the tea was done, Ermal took a seat too, carefully wrapping his hands around his mug. Usually he would have offered Dino and Andrea something to eat, or maybe he'd have baked cookies, but now he didn't have anything, at least not until the crates and sacks were unpacked.  

He looked at Fabrizio, and Ermal could understand why he had made it to the table, even though he wasn't sure Fabrizio should be out of bed yet. He also wouldn't want to meet strange men in such a situation where he was abed, lying down, with no way to keep an eye on his children. As those thoughts were still going through his head, Fabrizio looked up and met his eyes for a second, before they roamed over his face inquisitively. Self-consciously, Ermal wiped at his cheeks, though his tears had long since dried. He hoped Fabrizio couldn't see the signs that showed he'd been crying, but in any case it was more important that the children wouldn't know how desperate he'd been for a moment. There was help now. They would be fine. 

After tea and some slow conversation, it was time to unload the rest of the boat. Ermal started to feel a bit more like he always did when Dino and Andrea were with him on the island, and less lost like he had before. He joked with Andrea, and laughed at Dino who tried to shoo Fjolla away from the sacks of animal food. When the boat was empty, and all sacks and crates stacked neatly in the sheds where they were supposed to go, Ermal breathed a sigh of relief at the sight of his full stores again. The three men went back to the boat, sitting on the hatch cover and sharing a pipe.

"So," Ermal started, unsure how he was going to phrase this request, but he knew he had to. Dino and Andrea both turned to look at him. "Fabrizio and the children will stay here, at least until they're well enough, though I don't know if they have a place to go."

Immediately, Dino nodded understandingly. He had realized some of the implications of the visitors on the island.

"What do you need from us?"

Ermal was grateful for his friends, who just asked how they could help, and relied on his judgement without interfering or taking over, making all decisions.

"I think they should stay at least another month, just so they can get some rest. Though, I didn't talk to Fabrizio about this, I should do that first. But then, if they do, we'd need more food, definitely. And clothes. I think Fabrizio will fit in mine, but we need something for the children. Food and clothes, those are important. And a doctor?" He was asking for so much, he knew that, he was asking for so much that was never included in any of his work descriptions. It was a special situation, yes, but still, resources needed to be gathered, Andrea and Dino would have to sail out again...

Andrea and Dino only nodded, they didn't seem to find it a problem at all.

"We can be back... in two days? We'll bring clothes then, and we'll take Simone along too."

Ermal smiled gratefully. "That would be great, really! Fabrizio seems a lot better now, but I still would like him to be checked properly. And the children too, just to be sure."

"Of course," Dino replied only. "I guess we better go then, so we have more time to sort out everything. Is there anything else you need?"

Now Ermal shook his head. "I don't think so, we will be fine. We managed the last days with much less."

"Oh, Ermal, we almost forgot, here are your letters! And we added a special treat for your birthday!" Andrea said, smiling, as he handed Ermal a stack of envelopes and some parcel wrapped in newspaper.

"Thank you! You didn't have to!" Ermal replied, trying not to lose any of the things in his arms when his friends pulled him into a hug in turns. 

"But we did," Dino smiled, and started preparing the boat for the trip back.

"Wait!" Ermal suddenly remembered, "I completely forgot my letters in the past few days, I just didn't get to it. Can I give them to you when you return?"

"No, you absolutely cannot. Mail service once a month only," Andrea said, with a smirk on his lips and a twinkle in his eyes, and Ermal wished he could push him into the water. That would teach him. He couldn't, though, not with the water temperatures as they were and all that was at stake now. But he wished to. And someday he would, Andrea had better be prepared.

He jumped on the pier again, and stood there, like he had earlier that day, now watching the boat leave, become smaller and smaller, until it disappeared on the horizon. Somehow, this went so much faster than arriving had done, even though it was the same distance. When the boat had gone, Ermal shook his head, and made his way back to the house.

He found that Fabrizio had gone back to bed, which both showed that he had some common sense and didn't push himself too far, but also that he was weaker than any of them hoped he was. Ermal was glad Simone was coming over to check on him. It might have been just a particularly persistent cold combined with Fabrizio's exhaustion, but it might be something more serious.

Ermal put his letters away, eager to read them, but more eager to find out what was in that package that he had been handed. He put it carefully on the table, and was about to open it, when Anita appeared by his side.

"What is that?" she asked, eyes wide and focused on the package.

Ermal smiled. "It's a present my friends gave me."

"Why?" 

"Because it was my birthday last month," Ermal answered patiently. "Do you want to help me open it?"

Anita nodded enthusiastically, and at that Libero popped up next to them too.

"Go ahead, both of you," Ermal said, and smiled again as he saw how carefully the children went about unwrapping the newspaper. What they found were two lumpy shapes wrapped in cloth. That was undone too, and they were left with a little tin of something, and a bottle of milk.

Ermal's eyes lit up as he took the tin, opened it, and inspected it. A grin formed on his face.

"What is it?" Anita asked curiously.

"You'll see," Ermal answered, taking both the tin and the milk to the kitchen counter. He poured the milk into a little pan and slowly heated it up. He got out four mugs and measured into each some sugar and some of the contents of the little tin. When the milk was warm, he divided it over the four mugs, smiling as the last drop neatly went into the fourth mug, giving that just as much as the other three. Then he took some spoons and stirred all mugs well. 

"Let's go to the bedroom, so your dad can have some too!" Ermal said, refusing to say another word on what was in the tin, or answer any of the questions of looks the children shot at him.

He took a tray to carry all mugs at once, and then joined the children and Fabrizio in the bedroom, putting the tray carefully on the bedside table.

Fabrizio looked at him questioningly too, his attention captured by the excited Libero and Anita.

"Here, careful, it may be hot," Ermal said, handing out the steaming mugs, and taking his own to settle on the blankets too.

There was quiet as they slowly sipped their drink, that was just a little too hot at first, but quickly reached a comfortable temperature to drink.

As soon as he got a good taste, Fabrizio looked at Ermal with wide eyes.

"Is this... Is it really...?"

"But papa, what is it? It's so nice! It's the best thing I have ever tasted!" Anita exclaimed, staring with adoration at her mug.

Fabrizio didn't answer her question, but kept looking at Ermal, still waiting for the answer to his own question.

"It's chocolate," Ermal answered with a smile, and Fabrizio nodded.

"I've heard of it, but I've never had it! How did you get this?"

Ermal wanted to answer, but Anita beat him to it.

"It's his birthday present!"

At that, Fabrizio stared at his drink.

"But Ermal..."

Ermal could imagine what he was thinking, after his incredulous question before, and with the wonder in his eyes that was now replaced by hesitation and the slightest hint of guilt. He quickly shook his head.

"No, I want to share it with you. Really, I'd rather share it than have to drink it all on my own!" 

He could only hope that Fabrizio believed him, and he tried to put the sentiment in his gaze too. Because it was true, sharing this present with this family was worth a lot more than drinking it cup by cup one lonely evening at a time, no matter if now all he had was one cup. 

It took a second, but then there was a small smile on Fabrizio's lips and he took another sip. Ermal returned the smile, and then shifted his attention to the children.

"So you like this?" he asked them, though he didn't really need an answer. Anita had made her opinion on the hot chocolate quite clear already, and also Libero's happy face as he sipped the warm milk said enough. Both nodded fervently, and Anita added dramatically, "It's so good! I wish I could have a bath in this! A sea of chocolate!"

Ermal chuckled at that, and couldn’t help but ruffle the little girl’s hair, his eyes finding Fabrizio’s, and they shared an unexpected smile, lips stained by chocolate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, more people are introduced beyond the four we already knew :) I hope you enjoyed the chapter and I would love to hear your thoughts on it! <3


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that the supplies have arrived and more help is on its way, Ermal can finally relax a little, and make good on a promise he made a while ago.

The next morning, Ermal woke early. As he walked up the stairs of the tower, he chewed on some dry bread. He didn’t mind it, though, not now he knew there would be so much food, nice and fresh, and more to come too!

He updated his logs, checking the weather. Even early in the day as it was, the sun was rising steadily, not blocked by any clouds. Ermal watched the sky’s colours, the orange and pink. It was beautiful, in the simple, understated way only nature managed. It was beautiful, in a way that he would never get used to, no matter how many times he saw the sun emerge from the waves, slowly making its way up through the sky.

Today there was something else though. It felt like a new beginning somehow, like the worries of the past week fell away, with only the good things remaining. It was clear the weather would be good today, and no doubt hold, so that Andrea and Dino would be back tomorrow as they promised. There was food, he could cook proper, healthy meals for his guests, without worrying about each mouthful he ate himself. He had other people on the island, who were getting better, who would stay, at least for a while, and could now liven up his days and lonely evenings with more than just worrying about them.

Yes, it felt as if the past storm and all the worries it had brought had never happened, and Ermal found himself humming as he went to turn off the light, a smile on his face. It would be a good day, with more good days to come.

Once down at the bottom of the tower, he took the back door and then went to tend the animals. He opened the chicken coop, and the chickens fluttered out one by one, clucking as they went. Mira was in front, as always, followed by the others. Lia paused at Ermal’s feet, hopping on his toes and pecking at his trousers. He smiled down at her, and moved to pick her up. Sometimes she wasn’t in the mood for that, and rather just finished her grooming of his pants, but sometimes she snuggled in his arms. Today was one of those times, and it only added to the brightness of the day.

He collected the eggs and put them to the side. Today would be their last meagre breakfast. After cleaning the storage room, the shelves could be filled with all the new food that had been delivered, and he couldn’t wait to see them full again. First, though, Fjolla deserved some food and some attention, and she seemed more excited about the latter than the former. Ermal knew he had been neglecting her a bit, but then, she would have to learn to share his time, at least as long as Fabrizio, Libero, and Anita were staying on the island. When they would leave though, he knew Fjolla would get all the attention she craved and more.

But they hadn’t left yet, and now he had to go back to the house, because the family was no doubt waking up soon, if they hadn’t already. Ermal got some water too, and then went back inside to prepare breakfast. He found Libero and Anita sitting on the bed, chatting with their father. Fabrizio seemed to be feeling well, though he still looked rather wistfully at the door towards the kitchen.

“I’ll bring you a plate,” Ermal told him, but then added, “though, would you object if we were to all have breakfast here?”

The briefest hint of gratitude flashed over Fabrizio’s face, before he smiled, and said, “That’s all right, but no crumbs in my bed!”

“ _ Your _ bed, is it now?” Ermal couldn’t help but tease, though even as the words left his lips he worried if Fabrizio wasn’t going to take it the wrong way, feeling like a burden and guilt-ridden that Ermal had to give up his bed for him.

Luckily, Fabrizio just grinned at him, in a good mood this morning, and Ermal left the room to get the plates and mugs from the kitchen. He spread a blanket on the bed to catch the worst of the crumbs, and then settled on the mattress like it was a picnic on a field.

He handed out the plates, keeping the mugs on the bedside table. Crumbs were one thing, water or tea spilled over the blankets another.

“This is fun! Can’t we do this every day?” Anita asked as she ate her fried egg.

Ermal shook his head. “No, just for special occasions. There is a perfectly fine dinner table just a few meters away.”

Anita pouted for a second, but had quickly forgotten her question, chattering to her father again. Ermal wasn’t as easily distracted, because in that answer, he had in every way failed to remember that Fabrizio and the children would be leaving soon. Some weeks they would stay, but beyond that, Ermal would be alone again. So  _ special occasions _ would not include birthdays and stormy weather, and definitely not any winter mornings when the warm bed was a hard place to leave and breakfast could be moved from the kitchen to the bedroom.

It was with a sigh and a slight shake of his head that he came back to his food. He chewed and swallowed and  handed Libero his mug, and tried to get rid of those gloomy thoughts. Fabrizio would leave soon, as soon as he was better and he knew where he could go. Until then, Ermal would enjoy the time he spent with them, enjoy the liveliness on the island, but it did not mean he lost all ability to live here on his own. He would be fine when they left, of course he would.

Putting Libero’s mug back on the safety of the nightstand, he happened to meet Fabrizio’s eyes, who looked at him a little quizzically. Ermal ignored him, it would do no good to burden Fabrizio with his thoughts right now, it wouldn’t change anything. Besides, the children were here, and he definitely was not going to worry them.

“Ermal? I finished,” Anita let him know then, breaking through his thoughts again.

“That’s great! Do you want to put your plate in the sink? And then –”

“Can we do the reading here too?” she interrupted him before he could finish.

“Of course, can you bring the books and pencils from the kitchen?” Ermal said. There was a blink in time before he managed a look at Fabrizio, realizing he should check if it was okay to invade his space longer.

Fabrizio just smiled, settling in the pillows, and putting an arm around Libero. He didn’t look like a man who was annoyed that he wasn’t left alone yet, so Ermal relaxed. He quickly put the other plates in the sink too, and then joined the rest on the bed again, where Anita had already handed out paper and a pencil to Libero.

Again, Ermal started with the listening games, no matter how both children protested that they wanted to really write. It would be more useful in the long run, to know what the letters were referring to, and that meant they had to be able to hear the different sounds. Then he moved on, though, to a real word, an easy word.

“What sounds are in the word  _ papa _ ?” he asked, risking a glance at Fabrizio, who only stared at his children, just as caught up in the lesson as they were, but for different reasons.

“P!” Libero said, plopping his lips, “And A.”

Ermal had to look away at the expression that appeared now on Fabrizio’s face, upon hearing his son speak for the first time in days.

“That’s right! And we can write both sounds,” Ermal explained, and wrote both letters on a piece of paper. Like before, he made some that the children could trace too, until they could write the letters by themselves.

“That’s your first word!”

Ermal got out again the paper with both names of the children, and asked, “Can you find any of the letters you just learned here?”

Both children pointed at the As in Anita’s name, and a proud smile appeared on Ermal’s face. Then Anita also pointed out the B in Libero’s, and Ermal had to shake his head.

“No, that looks very similar as the P, but it’s not the same. See, it’s upside down, it’s a different sound.” He made a few B and P sounds, until he thought the children got the difference. “That’s why reading is sometimes difficult, some letters look a lot alike. But we’ll just practice until you know them all!”

As before, he finished with just reading to the children, arms around them so they could see the book, and see where he pointed at the words. He took time to focus their attention on the Ps and As that were in the words he read.

When the chapter was finished, he closed the book, getting up.

“I’m going to unpack the new stores that we got yesterday. Do you maybe want to help? We’ll first have to clean a little.”

Ermal didn’t think cleaning always got the same enthusiastic response from the children, but for now he’d take it. He smiled, and nodded at Fabrizio before leaving the room. Fabrizio was better, yes, but this relatively exciting morning must be tiring for him.

He gathered the children and some cleaning supplies, letting Libero and Anita pump the water they’d need. Then they moved to the sheds, where all the crates were stacked.

“We’ll clean the shelves first, before unpacking anything,” Ermal said, “And anything that’s left, we can put in this basket, I’ll see if we can still use it or if we feed it to the animals.”

“The animals!” Anita exclaimed, “Can’t we go and see them too?”

Ermal chuckled, though he wished he had thought of that himself before.

“Of course, we can do that after we finish here, okay?”

The children nodded, and they set to work. There were some dried up onions, and four thin wrinkled carrots. They weren’t very edible anymore, though, so it wasn’t a big loss. He moved the jars of preserves away to clean the shelves there too. They were done quickly, and it was time to unpack, and see what Andrea and Dino had brought them.

He stacked the sacks of grains on the floor below the shelves, and then found some that contained more potatoes and flour. Those went to their proper place too, and then it was time to unpack some crates. Ermal loosened the cover, and then let Libero and Anita unpack the crate.

“What did you find?”

They held up small boxes filled with different fruits, carefully stacked with towels in between so as not to bruise the delicate fruits while transporting them. With a smile, Ermal put them aside, and they moved on the next crate.

All in all, the new supplies consisted of much what Ermal had learned to expect this time of year, and it was much like he had dreamed of in the past days. They had new preserves, new supplies of all the bulk good they needed, fresh vegetables, those that would keep, and then some fresh ones that he should use up soon, but that would be a welcome change before his own garden would yield a first harvest. It was always a bit later than the fields on the mainland, given the difficult conditions on the island. There were some salted meats and dried beans, and many other things besides.

Ermal put everything away, and stacked the empty crates in a corner so that they could be easily returned to the boat when Andrea and Dino came back. He found the big bag of mixed nuts and raisins, and let both children take handful, before taking some himself too. There were still a few things left to do here, and he also had to look through the non-food supplies, but they could wait a bit longer. Now at least, he had done his best to store all the food properly so it wouldn’t spoil.

“Do you want to bring a snack to your dad too?” he asked the children, following their excited footsteps back to the house. Fabrizio seemed to be dozing when they entered the bedroom, but quickly awakened and giving his attention to Libero and Anita. Ermal watched from the doorway, lost in thoughts – Fabrizio surely had missed this, missed his children in the past days – until he heard his name.

“And Ermal promised we could meet the animals today!”

“A sheep and some chickens,” Ermal quickly explained, so that Fabrizio wouldn’t be worried about what kind of dangerous animals his children would be exposed to.

“Can we go now? We did the cleaning!”

Ermal had to smile at Anita’s undying enthusiasm about the animals, that, while he was glad they were on the island, really weren’t all that special.

“We can. Come on!” he answered, knowing the little girl’s patience had been tested enough with the storm in between.

“Are you also coming?” he asked Libero, who nodded.

It was still early, but Ermal had no doubt all animals would not say no to some food, and some attention, especially in Fjolla’s case. He started with the chickens, opening up the coop to show Libero and Anita where the chickens lived at night, and gave them some grains to give to the chickens who were approaching them.

Mira was in the lead, slightly cautious with these unfamiliar humans on the island. She went up to Ermal first, clucking at him as if asking him what he was doing. Ermal crouched down, his arm around Libero, and with their hands stacked, offered some food to the chicken. She pecked at it, after suspiciously staring for a minute, and Libero smiled at the peculiar feeling.

“Can she eat mine too?” Anita now asked, and Ermal pulled her into his other side, offering her grains to the other chickens that were now approaching. Anita giggled as they pecked at the grains and then brushed her hands delightedly when all was eaten.

“They’re pretty! But where is the sheep?”

Ermal straightened up and looked around him. He couldn’t see Fjolla from where he stood, and suspected she was in the meadow.

“Let’s go and find her. Libero, do you want to come?”

The boy shook his head and pointed at the ground. Ermal nodded, and went off with Anita in tow, on a quest to find Fjolla. It wasn’t too hard, as he had expected she was in the meadow, standing just where the sun’s rays could reach her.

“There she is!” Anita exclaimed, and set off on a run down the slight slope. Ermal was just too late to catch her, and was ready for the inevitable disappointment when Fjolla now would be scared and run away.

He wasn’t quite prepared for what happened instead. It turned out that Fjolla wasn’t an ordinary sheep, who would be startled by something hurtling towards her, and get out of the way. No, Fjolla stood her ground.

“Anita, be careful!” he cautioned, and then jogged after her, reaching her right when she made it to Fjolla’s side. Fjolla bleated once at the sight of Ermal, but then her curiosity won, and she slowly approached Anita, who was watching with wide eyes.

“She’s so big!” she whispered, and Ermal put a comfortable hand on her shoulder and got the small carrots from his pocket.

“Do you want to give her one?”

Anita nodded, but made no move. Ermal picked the smallest carrot and gave it to Fjolla.

“See, she’s very gentle.”

The next one, they fed her together, and the third and fourth one Anita managed on her own, smiling proudly. They were out of carrots then, and Fjolla licked Anita’s still outstretched hand as a thank you. The little girl squealed and pulled her hand back to herself, startled by the sudden wet roughness on her skin.

“Eww,” she exclaimed, staring at her hand. Ermal wiped it on his trousers, and then pushed Fjolla away, who had started to rummage in Ermal’s pockets to see if she could find any other treats.

“You can pet her, too,” Ermal then said, giving the example by petting Fjolla’s face and running his hands through her coat. If the nice weather would hold, he should really shear her soon. Somehow. He didn’t really feel like asking Dino and Andrea for even more favours, so he should figure it out on his own.

They petted Fjolla for a while, until even Anita agreed that it had been long enough. Fjolla didn’t think so, and tried to get their attention for a while, before resignedly turning back to nibble at the grass. They walked back up the hill towards the buildings, Anita’s hand in Ermal’s. Just as they passed between two sheds, Ermal paused, holding also Anita back. The scene they were about to disturb was simply too beautiful to disrupt.

Libero sat crouched on the ground, surrounded by the chickens, who clearly had gotten used to him, with one white chicken wrapped in his arms, its little head in Libero’s neck in what looked exactly like a hug.

Ermal smiled at it, and only stepped forward when it had ended, and Libero was just petting the chicken.

“That’s Rinald, he’s my brother,” Ermal said as he and Anita slowly stepped closer.

“Did he get turned into a chicken by a witch?” Anita asked, shocked, and two children’s incredulous looks fixed on Ermal told him that he had some explaining to do. He remembered the fairy tales he’d told them on that stormy day, and realized that with what he’d said it really wasn’t such a strange assumption to make.

“No, no, I just meant, he’s named after my brother. All chickens have names of my family and friends, so I can keep them close.”

The children still looked a bit sceptically at the chickens, and Ermal pointed them out one by one, explaining their names. Rinald remained Libero’s favourite, and it seemed the feeling was mutual. Anita could only talk about Fjolla, so her favourite was also clear.

Ermal took them back to the house, so he could start with dinner, a more lavish dinner than he’d had in a long time. He even had time to prepare a quick dessert to complete the meal. When he stuck his head around the bedroom door after knocking, he found Fabrizio awake.

“How do you feel? Do you want to join us at the table?” he offered, hoping that Fabrizio would feel good enough, but it also would be nice to have all four of them at the table for this proper meal. To his pleasure, Fabrizio nodded, and Ermal stepped into the room, rummaging through the chest of clothes.

“Here’s a sweater, so you won’t be cold without the blankets.”

He answered Fabrizio’s grateful smile with one of his own, and then went back to the kitchen, setting another plate on the table.

“Is papa coming?” Anita asked, when she saw the addition, and also Libero’s face lit up at Ermal’s positive answer.

The meal that followed was a relaxed one, and even though the children had been doing well the past few days, Ermal still noticed a change in them now that their father was at the table with them. No doubt it lessened their worries and gave them back some feeling of normalcy in it all.

Fabrizio smiled and listened intently at the stories the children told him about chickens and sheep, and asked questions of his own. Ermal would have been content just sitting on the side lines, watching, as this family spent some time together, but each member did their best to include him in their conversation.

He got the dessert to the table, and made some tea too. They sat there, Ermal stepping out briefly to light the lighthouse’s lamp, enjoying the food and drink and each other’s company, until Anita yawned, and Fabrizio admitted he was actually quite tired. They went to bed, as did Libero, and it was only then that Ermal realized he still had to finish his letters to his family.

He sat at the table, with just a small light next to him, and wrote what had happened to him in the past week. It was a lot to explain, and in the end he just wrote it to his mother, asking her to tell the others, so he wouldn’t have to write it down five times. He did add one post script to his grandmother’s letter, to ask for some knitting patterns suitable for children. Briefly, the thought crossed his mind that maybe, Fabrizio and the children would leave before he got her response, before he had time to actually knit anything. He could just hope they would stay a little longer. This evening with the four of them had now clearly showed him what it was he would lose when they left.

He closed the last letter, and then turned off the light to settle in his blankets. They were here for now, and he should enjoy it, without getting lost in worries he couldn’t solve right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! It'd be great if you could leave your thoughts in a comment, I'd love to know!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dino and Andrea are set to come back today, bringing the doctor with them. But that also means Ermal needs to talk to Fabrizio, and figure out what his plans are, and if he wants to stay. And staying, that would bring new problems to solve. Luckily it's not all that hard, for once.

It wasn’t quite the same, Ermal mused, as he was mixing flour and sugar with soft butter. Usually when he knew the supply boat was arriving, he was looking forward to it, usually it had been such a long time on his own… But this time, he’d seen Andrea and Dino just a couple of days ago. This time he hadn’t been alone on the island for a month.

Still, he was glad his friends were coming back. Even though Fabrizio was much better, and he had even joined them at the breakfast table that morning, Ermal would rest easier when Simone had had a look at him. And just to be sure, at the children too. What they had been through, it was better that someone with proper medical knowledge checked that everything was as it should be.

And this time, he had actually the resources and the certainty that it was today that Andrea and Dino would come to bake them the cookies he usually provided them with. Only this time, he had two eager little helpers, Fabrizio looking on from the rocking chair he had claimed, a blanket around his shoulders. Ermal was glad to see him out of bed for such an extended period of time.

“Now I’ll add a little bit of egg, I’ll mix it, and then in a bit we can roll it out!” Ermal told Anita and Libero, who were following his every movement with wide eyes.

When he was done mixing, he left the ball of dough for a second and took the jar of flour to the table.

“You can both take a hand of flour, and just sprinkle it on the table.”

“On the  _ table _ ?” Anita asked, pausing with her hand in the jar.

“Yes,” Ermal chuckled at her look, “Then the dough won’t stick. We will clean it later.”

When the table was covered in a fine white layer, Ermal took the dough ball and flattened it a bit. He let both children roll it out with the rolling pin, his hands guiding theirs. As he stood there, bent over the table, Libero in front of him, flattening the last bit of the dough to a uniform thickness, Ermal’s eyes found Fabrizio’s face, who was looking at the scene with a soft smile on his face. For a second, Ermal wondered what was on his mind, what he thought of this situation, of everything. For a second, Ermal wondered what it looked like from his perspective, his children baking cookies with a man they had only known such a short time, a man they had met in such strange circumstances.

“We’re all done now!”

Anita’s voice brought him back to the table, and Ermal put the rolling pin away, surveying the piece of dough. It looked good and even, not too thin, not too thick.

“Great! Now we can make cookies!”

He got two thin glasses and handed them to the children.

“Just use that to get nice round cookies, and I’ll put them on the baking tray.”

Ermal put a bit more coal in the stove to make sure it was burning hot enough to bake the cookies properly, and then carefully slid the cut out circles of dough onto the tray. After gathering the remaining dough and rolling it out again, there were even more cookies, and not all of them fit at once on the tray, so he put some on a plate to bake in a second batch. He put them aside, and then it was time to clean the table of all the flower and sticky pieces of dough clinging to the wooden surface.

The cookies didn’t have to bake long, and while the second tray was in the oven, it was the perfect opportunity to try the now slightly cooled cookies of the first batch.

"Thanks," Fabrizio said, as he took an offered cookie from the plate with one hand, and used the other to steady Anita who was climbing on his lap.

Libero stayed seated at the now flourless table, nibbling on his cookie. He looked at Ermal as he put the plate back on the counter. Ermal knew what the boy wanted to ask - the reading lesson had been postponed in favour of baking today. And yes, a soft "Can we read now?" sounded, and Ermal nodded quickly, ignoring how his face lit up in a smile just at the sound of the boy's voice.

"Of course. Anita, do you want to come and join us?" He looked over at the little girl, but she just shook her head, content to stay curled up in her father's arms, rocking gently back and forth.

"So it's just us today, Libero. Let's see what we can do," he said, and got the books and writing supplies.

He started out with some of those sound games he had begun these lessons with. They were getting easier for Libero, who only struggled with the more tricky sounds and harder words. After a quick break to take out the baking cookies and let them cool, Ermal quickly moved on to repeating the few letters they'd practiced before, and added two new ones that he thought Libero might be ready for now. He went over those for a while, making words with the letters Libero knew so far, until the boy's attention began to  waver. Ermal ended the lesson with some exercises disguised as another game so Libero could practice all the fine movements that he would need to smoothly write letters together.

Sensing that the end of the lesson was now approaching, Anita scrambled off her father's lap and appeared next to Ermal and Libero. She wasn't going to miss Ermal reading out loud!

Ermal pulled both children's chairs closer to him so they could see the book and the illustrations. He read a first chapter, and in request a second. His voice had started to go a little hoarse by then, but luckily he was saved by Fabrizio.

"I'm getting a little hungry, shall we start preparing lunch soon?" he interrupted Anita's request for yet another chapter, and Ermal smiled at him gratefully. He wasn't totally sure if Fabrizio's appetite had really picked up that much, but if it had, it was definitely a good sign. If not, well, he had good hopes Fabrizio was getting better anyway and there was a doctor on the way. In any case it was good to continue with the day, before all he did was read.

"Yes, let's! What do you want to eat?"

All wishes were easily catered for, with the seemingly endless amount of options the new supplies had given them.

It was the second meal of the day with all four of them gathered at the table, and Ermal was glad for it. He could see a routine forming like this. Three fixed moments a day where they would get together here at the centre of the house, the time between them filled with playing and the chores that needed to be done. Evenings they could spend together too, playing games, playing music, exchanging stories... Outside in summer, the light moving over them and the sound of insects and the waves in the air. Cozy inside in winter, curling up in the bed with the four of them for warmth, like they'd done during the storm.

But no - No.

Ermal managed to shake himself free from these thoughts. This situation was just temporary, he knew that. Fabrizio and the children might stay for a couple of weeks, but they would leave after. And he had to talk to Fabrizio about exactly that, agree on something with him and Andrea and Dino, and see what Simone had to say too. He should do that soon.

"Is everything okay?" Fabrizio asked him softly, as Ermal was getting lost in his thoughts again, now of the more practical kind.

Ermal nodded and forked up another bite of his food. He didn't quite know what to say. Fabrizio didn't push it, and they continued to eat in silence that was only broken by Anita's chatter. He tried to engage in that, keeping him focused on the here and now, and it seemed to work. They were finishing up, and Ermal took the plates to the sink to wash later, Libero helping him. When he turned his back to the counter, Anita was in front of him.

"Can we go outside, Ermal? The sun is shining!" she asked excitedly, and Ermal could only give his consent.

"But stay between the buildings, so we can see you from the kitchen, okay?"

Both Libero and Anita nodded, and he let them go into the spring air without an extra layer of clothes, they would stay warm while playing.

He joined Fabrizio again at the table again, this would be a good opportunity to start that conversation about him staying for a while.

“As you know, Dino and Andrea are coming back today,” he started, “They’re going to bring some extra supplies, now that you and the children are here too.”

Fabrizio nodded at that, but didn’t say anything, apparently waiting for Ermal to continue.

“They’re also bringing a friend of mine, Simone Cristicci. He’s a doctor. I asked for him, I thought it would be a good idea if he could have a look at you and Libero and Anita, even though you’re all feeling better now. Just to be sure everything is okay.”

“That would be good, yes. Thank you,” Fabrizio answered, and Ermal briefly inclined his head in acknowledgement, his eyes on some scratches on the table.

“There’s something else I wanted to talk about. I already mentioned it to Andrea and Dino, and I know I probably should have talked to you first…”

“What is it?”

It was hard to read Fabrizio’s tone, and Ermal wondered if he would agree at all to staying here on the island with him.

“To give you all a chance to, well, get better, I thought you should stay for a couple of weeks – I mean, if you want to go somewhere else, that’s alright of course! I just meant, it might be nice to just be in one place for a little while.”

As he spoke, a pained expression flashed over Fabrizio’s face, making Ermal falter a little. It took a second before he got an answer.

“I really don’t want to get in your way, and have so many people go to all this trouble just because of us… But I would really appreciate it if we could stay for a little longer, while I figure out where we can go next.”

He sounded so hesitant, as if he was asking for too much, and Ermal just wanted them to  _ stay _ , though he knew how selfish that was. While he couldn’t go back to the village, Fabrizio no doubt had some place somewhere where there was family waiting for him, where friends were waiting for him.

“It would really be okay. We can discuss some practicalities later with Dino and Andrea, see what we’d need. But it would absolutely be a pleasure to have you here longer! Besides, the reading lessons aren’t finished yet!”

Ermal tried to add a joke at the end, to make his feelings a bit less obvious. He shouldn’t be this happy about them staying, when Fabrizio, Libero and Anita being here at all was based on so much bad luck. Ideally, he would never have met them, because that meant they wouldn’t have had to go through what they had.

On Fabrizio’s lips appeared a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“Indeed, that might take a little longer, I guess we better stay for a while then. But if we do, there's something that needs to change."

"Change?" was the only answer Ermal could manage. Was he doing something wrong, something Fabrizio didn't agree with?

"You can't keep sleeping on the floor like this," Fabrizio said, and his eyes flicked to the corner where Ermal kept his blankets, neatly folded for the day.

"I..." He hadn't even thought of this. "I'll be fine," he said, though he could feel the twitch in his back that didn't quite agree it would be fine with more weeks spent on the hard floor.

Luckily, Fabrizio didn't agree either.

"No, no, I insist you take the bed. I can sleep on the floor instead. It's good enough, I've slept rougher in my time."

"What? No! Absolutely not. You're still recovering and I won't let you sleep on the floor!" Ermal exclaimed as soon as Fabrizio's words registered. "We can share the bed, in that case, if you agree with that," he suggested, looking for some compromise.

Fabrizio nodded slowly, sensibly at last. "But where will then Anita sleep?"

Ermal paused. They weren't going to fit in the bed with the three of them, not comfortably at least.

"I don't know..." he admitted.

"What if we put the blankets next to the bench, and Libero and Anita switch between the bench and the floor? With enough blankets..." Fabrizio suggested, though his voice showed he knew it wasn't ideal.

"No, it's too drafty, so close to the door. I really don't want any of you to sleep on the floor."

Ermal ignored the look Fabrizio sent him at that, and went over the options in his mind. There really weren't many. He just had the one bed, in the one bedroom, and there they wouldn't fit with the four of them. And if the floor was out... What was left?

Ermal looked around the room with rising despair, feeling Fabrizio's eyes on him, now waiting for a solution.

Finally his eyes found something that might be of help. He had almost forgotten the place existed, he didn't normally use it, only sometimes it was a good place to dry laundry and have it out of the way.

"Maybe... It’s going to need some work, but..."

Ermal got up, Fabrizio following him until they found themselves in front of a ladder mounted to the wall of the bedroom, next to Ermal's precious bookshelves. It led up to the loft that could be used as storage space, but that was mostly empty now.

Ermal climbed up the ladder, taking a lamp with him, and then surveyed the space. It was under the sloping angles of the roof of the little cabin, stretching out across the kitchen and bedroom. It wasn't tall, he had to stoop even in the middle, but it might do for Libero and Anita. There even was a little window next to the chimney that provided some light, and the chimney itself would give off warmth.

Yes, this might actually work, with some cleaning, a few adaptations and something soft to sleep on.

Ermal turned around, and found Fabrizio leaning on the landing at the top of the ladder, gazing curiously at the space.

"What do you think?" Ermal asked him. He only needed Fabrizio’s approval, because to him, this was the solution they’d been looking for.

Fabrizio grinned at him.

"I think it's perfect!"

Ermal couldn't help but grin back and approached the ladder to climb down again. He got some tea for the both of them and put the cups on the kitchen table.

"Okay, let's figure out what needs to be done to make that work."

Sipping his tea occasionally, Ermal started going over the different tasks. They'd need to clean rigorously, and make sure everything was safe for the children, without wood splinters, no nails sticking out that they could hurt themselves on, and it should be easy to climb up the ladder for them, with no chance of falling down from the loft. Then there was the issue of what the children were going to sleep on. Ermal wasn't sure if the blankets would be enough to make a comfortable place to sleep for both Libero and Anita, even with all the blankets he owned put together. Maybe they could fabricate some mattresses from hay and spare sheets? Maybe that would be the biggest problem, but otherwise the loft was a great solution.

"Did you have any other concerns about staying?" Ermal asked Fabrizio, remembering that this entire discussion had started after Fabrizio had stated his condition with regards to him and Libero and Anita staying with Ermal on the island for a few weeks more.

"Concerns? No, of course not! You've done nothing but make everything as good for us as possible, even when you didn't have the resources. So even you allowing us to stay is more than enough. Thank you, Ermal."

"Well, I couldn't just push your boat back out to sea again, now could I? Of course I'm trying to help."

"You're doing so much more than just help. You're doing so much more than you have to. especially now, it wouldn't be unreasonable at all to tell us to leave now, we would be fine making the trip to shore."

What to say to this? Ermal didn't want them to leave yet. He didn't want to go back yet to empty tables, breakfasts eaten alone, lunches eaten alone, dinners eaten alone... He didn't want to lose yet the reading lessons he enjoyed so much, and the games with the children, the reading aloud of stories, the laughter and chatter filling the rooms.

Eventually, he had to go back to living on his own again, he knew that, but not yet. Let him have this for just a little while longer... But he couldn't just say that.

"I wouldn’t want to turn you away before you’re fully recovered. And to ferry you all from place to place, it won’t do you any good. Wouldn't it be better now to give the children as much stability a possible now? Just until you are all definitely better and you know what to do next," Ermal tried, his arguments at least convincing.

Fabrizio nodded and didn't try to argue, though his face showed his scepticism.

"Really, it's no problem, you are more than welcome to stay for a while longer."

There was a moment of silence. Occasionally, the children's laughter and talking drifted in through the slightly opened window. It was Fabrizio who broke the silence between them.

"How bad was it?"

Ermal stared at him uncomprehendingly.

"How bad was what?"

"The situation, with us here. I’m talking about the food, mostly."

There was more staring, until Ermal could formulate an answer, an answer that wasn’t an answer at all.

"How... How did you know?" He had tried so hard not to worry anyone, least of all Fabrizio, with the state he had been in.

"Your behaviour when the boat was arriving was a bit strange, but it made more sense when Libero and Anita told me about how they cleaned your empty shelves. I don't think empty shelves are a good sign for a man stuck on an island with no way of knowing what might happen before the new supplies arrive."

Ermal stayed silent, a quiet acknowledgement of how Fabrizio was right in this.

“So, how bad was it?” Fabrizio repeated.

Why did he want to know? Was it to know how much he owed him? How much he had to be grateful for? There was no point in it, Ermal would have tried the same if there was a whole ship stranded on his beach, instead of just the little boat. And he also didn’t want to worry Fabrizio in hindsight, or make him feel bad at all. Could he just not answer? Ermal didn't think he could fool Fabrizio now, and pretend everything had been fine. Besides, what was done, was done, and now there was nothing he could do about it, and everything had turned out fine.

"We made it," he said, trying to win time, trying to find some way to change the subject.

Fabrizio just kept looking at him, until Ermal felt obligated to fill the silence, a bit flustered.

"Well, like you noticed, I was relieved when Dino and Andrea came. I was worried... about the food, yes, but also about your health." It was a cheap deflection tactic, Ermal knew, and he knew that Fabrizio had also noticed. He was sure he wasn't going to get away with it, Fabrizio seemed to be on a determined hunt for answers.

It was right when Fabrizio opened his mouth, that the door swung open, Anita and Libero clattering in.

"Ermal! Ermal! We heard the boat! Can we go watch?"

"You heard the boat?" Ermal repeated. He'd been so caught up in his talk with Fabrizio that he'd never even noticed it. He was glad for the excuse it offered him to escape from Fabrizio's questions.

"Thank you for letting me know!" he said, getting up, and ruffling the children’s hair with a bit more enthusiasm than the news maybe warranted – but he was glad his friends were coming, that was all, of course.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed it!


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We left the island when there was a boat approaching, and it's still underway, bringing friends. Some recently seen, some not for a long while. It's time to catch up :)

Ermal did a calculation of how soon the boat would actually reach the island. He should get some more tea ready before his friends arrived, and put the cookies on the table.

Unlike last time Andrea and Dino came, now he wasn't so desperate. This time he could be a welcoming host, he did not have to scare them with unexplained crying and cryptic remarks. He was also happy to see his friend Simone again. It had been a while since he'd last seen him.

When the house was tidy and everything prepared, Ermal decided he could go out and wait on the pier for the boat to arrive.

"Can I wait with you?" Anita asked him, tugging on his sleeve. Ermal looked at Fabrizio to see if he approved. Fabrizio smiled and nodded.

"Yes! Let's go! Come, Ermal!" Anita tugged on Ermal's hand now, to get to the pier as fast as possible.

"Wait, Anita, there's no rush, they won’t be so fast. Libero, do you want to come too?"

This time it was Libero who shook his head, an pressed himself into Fabrizio's side. His father ruffled his hair, and looked down on him with a soft smile.

"Okay, we will be back with our guests,"  Ermal said, and then managed to catch Fabrizio's eyes and nodded at the plate of cookies on the table, hoping Fabrizio would understand the hint and take some. Ermal grabbed two cookies for himself and Anita and then set off down the path to the beach.

Anita skipped next to him, her little hand in his. When they reached the pier, Ermal sat down on the wooden planks. His legs were dangling over the edge, some spatters of water reaching his feet when the water hit the posts that held up the pier. He kept a careful grip on Anita's hand as she sat down next to him. What they absolutely did not need now was the little girl taking a dip into the icy cold water.

He handed one of the cookies to Anita and took a bite of his own, while staring at the horizon. The sunlight glittered off the water, making it hard to see. Still, he could make out the approaching boat amidst the sparkling light. It was already closer than he had expected.

"Look, can you see the boat?" he asked Anita, pointing at the shape in the distance. Anita excitedly copied his gesture when she noticed it, and Ermal wrapped his arm around the girl's shoulders, just to be sure she would not fall into the water.

"Be careful, we don't want you to fall, now do we?" he cautioned.

"No, especially cause I can't swim yet!" Anita answered, not aware of how that was enough for Ermal to secure his grip a little more.

"You can't?" He hadn't expected that, with her growing up on the seaside like she had, with a fisherman for a dad, who surely knew the dangers of the water.

"No, papa promised me he would teach me this summer when the weather is good."

Ermal nodded, and knew he shouldn't feel wistful about not getting to see that.

Anita kept chattering happily, and Ermal's attention now easily kept on the girl, not getting lost in ridiculous daydreams. He wasn't sure why this kept happening, he would be fine on his own, when they would leave. Of course he would be sad, but he had been on his own before, he could do it again.

Time had passed now, and the boat came close enough to distinguish details of the people on the boat. It wouldn't be long until his friends arrived. Ermal got up, his eyes on Simone’s messy curls that were being ruffled every which way by the wind. He hadn't seen his friend in months, not since he had insisted on visiting and checking up on Ermal before winter.

Ermal helped Anita up too, keeping her close, and together they waited for the boat to dock.

"Ermal, can't you lift me up, so I can see better?"

Of course he could, and of course he did, and that's how Dino, Andrea and Simone found them a couple of minutes later, Ermal with a little girl in his arms who was smiling and waving at the men now setting foot on the island.

Ermal embraced his friends with one arm, pausing in front of Simone after their greeting had finished.

"It's nice to see you again," he said, looking into his friend's eyes. Right in this moment, with him right in front of him, Ermal was reminded how desperate he had been for a doctor just days ago. Simone only nodded, a man of few words, but Ermal knew he understood him. He then introduced Anita, who was hiding her face in his neck, shy now, so close to this strange man she hadn’t seen before.

The five of them made their way up the slope to the house, Anita skipping in front of them, leading the way. Once inside, the men all settled at the table, while the children went over to the bench with another cookie in their hands, staring at all the adults now gathered in the room. Ermal introduced Fabrizio and Simone, and handed out steaming mugs of tea. They fell into easy small talk, until the tea was gone and Simone softly cleared his throat.

"I should see to my new patients now."

Ermal nodded, and turned to Fabrizio.

"Why don't you go with Libero and Anita to the bedroom? Then we'll get started on offloading the boat."

Fabrizio agreed, and called his children to him and looked expectantly at Simone. Ermal let his gaze cross his friend's to see if everything was alright. It seemed to be, shown by the smile Simone flashed him. He left them then, taking Andrea and Dino down to the pier again, that familiar path that they had walked so recently as well.

Dino and Andrea joked around, the way they usually would, and Ermal fell into the comfortable atmosphere that felt so normal. Very little in his life had been quite normal, lately, and it was an easy state to settle back into.

He got shaken out of his spell when he realized that one thing contributing to the normalness when it shouldn’t, was how full the boat’s hold was packed with crates and sacks. It almost resembled the amount he would get for a month, on first sight, even though everything was less tightly packed together. But it shouldn’t be so much - he got his supplies just two days ago, this was supposed to be only some additional food and clothes for Fabrizio and the children. It couldn’t be this much, could it?

“What… What is all this?” he stammered, pausing in his lifting of crates to pass them on to Andrea next to him. “It’s so much!”

Andrea and Dino shared a look, a smile.

“There’s the extra food we could find so quickly, and then a lot of it is clothes, and toys, and blankets,” Andrea explained. “We weren’t sure of the children’s sizes exactly, so we just took most of what people gave us. If it’s not too small, they’ll grow into it.”

“It’s so much,” Ermal could only repeat softly. He had never expected all this. Food was hard enough to find, so early in the year when everything depended on the first harvest, and he’d thought they’d get a crate or two of clothes at most, not enough to clothe an orphanage! And toys, he didn’t even ask for toys, least of all he had expected Andrea and Dino to move toys all across the sea. “I’ll make sure it’s all sorted out before you come next, and you can return all we don’t need.”

“When they heard their story, people wanted to help,” Dino explained, “You didn’t grow up on the coast, you don’t quite understand the collective fear of the water. What happened to Fabrizio - it could happen so easily anywhere else, and people know that. In a way, they’re paying an interest, and hope that someday, if the need ever occurs, someone will do the same for them.”

“Besides, you’re a part of the town too, Ermal, even if it’s a bit further out than most others. You’re one of us, as are any guests you have with you. We look out for our own,” Andrea added. “Now, give me that, there’s more to do!”

Ermal smiled at him, gratefulness in his expression. This was something you learnt not to expect, when you were forced to move to a foreign country when you were young, a country where you didn’t know anyone at all. It taught you not to depend on anyone, because there was no one who would come to your aid like this. You would always be a stranger, an outsider. So to be part of a community now, even though he was so far away from these people, even though he had met most people maybe once, or not at all, he could trust they would help when he was in need of it.

When they were finished, and had transferred all the ship’s contents to Ermal’s now overflowing store rooms, and had taken the empty crates from two days ago back to the boat, it was time for a well deserved break and something to eat. The three men made their way to the house, where they found the others at the kitchen table, occupied with a game or other with the dice.

In the preparations for the meal, Ermal caught Simone’s eye, the question clear in his own. He got a nod and a reassuring smile back, and some worry in Ermal’s chest quietened. Fabrizio was okay, the children were okay. There was nothing seriously wrong with them healthwise, and it was a relief. Still, Ermal would like to hear some details, but more than that he would like to spend some time with his friend, catching up after all the unexpected turns of the past week and a half. 

He excused them both after dinner, and together, Simone and Ermal walked the to them familiar path up to the cliffs. This was usually the way they went when Simone was visiting, be it as a friend, or be it as a doctor checking up on the valued lighthouse keeper. They both enjoyed the freedom, between the rocks and the wind and the water far down below, and it was always easier for Ermal to open up there than back in the safe confines of his house. The beach was a good place too, but during Simone's visits they usually ended up walking the path that lead up to the cliffs, making a round across the rest of the island. Ermal hadn't been out to the back of the island since before the winter, and he was curious to see what had changed, which parts of the cliffs had been claimed back by the sea. 

"So how have you been?" Simone asked him after a glance to his face, before looking back at his feet again to not trip over the loose stones.

"The winter wasn't bad, it wasn't as harsh as last year," Ermal started, wanting to give his friend a complete update since the last time they had talked. “In spring, though, there were some bad storms, I mean, you noticed them too, no doubt, but they’re always a bit stronger out here. All in all, though, it wasn’t bad, I got my supplies on time, usually. Andrea and Dino told me you had a busy winter.”

Simone nodded, “Yes, the damp weather led to a lot of coughing and colds. Nothing was very serious, but it kept me busy for sure.”

They continued their way across the cliffs in silence for a while. Ermal was leading the way, warning Simone for treacherous stones and picking out the way over the path that had in places almost disappeared after a winter of disuse and being exposed to the harsh elements.

“Andrea and Dino also had some updates on you, when they returned from the island,” Simone said, as the stood on the cliff farthest out from the lighthouse, staring out over the endless waves, the wind blowing through their respective curls.

“What did they have to say? That I’m as tragically handsome and mysterious as always, I hope.”

A dry chuckle sounded, and Ermal smiled at the sound. He had missed this, he had missed Simone.

“There was nothing out of the ordinary, really. At least, not until two days ago.”

Ermal felt Simone’s eyes on him, and nodded, “Yes, I can imagine that was quite the news of the town.”

“Indeed. It managed to outshine the scandal of the young Ferrara’s baby that was born rather early. You know, they got married only half a year ago.”

“I’m glad to be of service to them. What did people say?”

“Well, we didn’t really know what to think, when Andrea and Dino were back with the news that you’d found a man and two children on your beach. Within seconds, the craziest rumours were flying around.”

“Like what?” There were times Ermal missed living around other people, but when he was reminded of the way people talked and gossiped, he was glad to be out on the island, and just have it in very limited doses. He’d had enough of that in his life.

“There was the one where people thought you had gone mad on your own out here, and had started to imagine things. There was the one where three people had washed up on the beach, already dead, there was the one where you had killed them. The obligatory ghost story, souls from shipwrecks come to haunt you for they were angry they light hadn’t been enough to save them…”

Ermal listened with amusement. These would make a good story for a long winter night, no doubt.

“Oh, and there was the one I heard where you had found one of the merfolk on your beach, and had been lured in under their spell, I enjoyed that one a lot, and thought I’d better check up on you, before our lighthouse keeper disappears into the depths of the sea.”

“Yes, that would clearly be the worst, the lighthouse keeper gone, there’s no feelings of friendship involved at all.”

“Of course not,” Simone answered, but their mirrored smiles showed that they both meant quite the opposite.

“Andrea and Dino got the few people together who would be able to help coordinate everything, to be back in just two days with more supplies, and they told us the whole story. The real one, I mean. Or at least, they told us all they knew, which wasn’t that much. Do you want to tell me what happened?”

Ermal sighed, “Yes, I do. But here, let’s find a place to sit, it’s rather a long story.”

They sat down in the grass, not minding the damp that slowly crept in their clothes. It would be dry by the time they reached the house again. Ermal told Simone the whole story, from how he had found them, to Fabrizio getting ill, the storm, the reading lessons and his endless worries before Andrea and Dino had arrived. 

Retelling the whole story, in this much detail, it affected him. Those feelings of despair that he’d had, but that he only could push down and ignore, because he  _ couldn’t _ fall apart, they were still there, and they still needed a way out, they needed to be dealt with. So here, out on the cliffs with Simone by his side, with those feelings coursing through him, and all worries now really gone, Ermal couldn’t stop himself from crying.

“But it’s all well now,” he concluded finally, through the tears, trying to put an end to them. Simone had put his arm around Ermal’s shoulders, his hand rubbing comforting circles.

“It is. All three seem to be healthy, aside from Fabrizio who’s recovering still. With what they’ve been through, I think we can all count ourselves lucky that this is the outcome. You did all you could, Ermal, you did so well. It will all be okay.”

Of course, with the state Ermal was in, those words didn’t really help to stop his tears, but Ermal knew Simone understood, and he just rested his head on the other man’s shoulder until he had composed himself. 

“Let’s go? The others surely wonder where we are,” he finally suggested, running his sleeve over his cheeks for the last time. Simone only nodded, and got up, extending his hand to help up Ermal too. 

They made it back to the house, where they found the other men sitting on the old bench placed against the shed, overlooking the slope down to the beach and the water in the distance. Anita was on Fabrizio's lap, safely curled up in his arms, while Libero was playing with a ball on the grass. It was one of the many toys Andrea and Dino had brought.

Ermal smiled at the three men one by one, trying to cancel out any traces of his earlier tears so as not to worry them. 

"If you're ready, Simone, we better start heading back," Dino suggested, his eyes on the sun that was definitely starting to approach the horizon. 

Simone nodded. "I'll get my things." 

As Simone got his bag and checked if he didn’t leave any of his instruments behind, Dino came up to Ermal. 

“We’ll be back in two weeks, just to see how you are all doing, and to bring more food. It’s hard to guess how much you’ll need, so it’s better to be on the safe side. Simone said he doesn’t see the need to come too, but if you’d rather have him visit again, I’m sure he could.”

Ermal quickly shook his head. “I don’t think it’s necessary, and I wouldn’t want to take him away from town so much. It’s already a lot you’re coming again, I don’t know how to thank you.”

“You don’t have to. Keep the light running, keep saving people who was up on your shore, and if you have a chance, bake cookies if we’re due to visit. It’s more than enough. We know the price you’re paying, out here on your own.”

Ermal nodded gratefully, and then embraced his friend tightly, already looking forward to the next time he’d see him. They always had so little time together. 

Simone returned, and it was time for the three men to go. The four of those who would stay on the island said their goodbyes, their thanks, again, and then watched the boat be readied for departure and slowly sail away.

When the boat was nothing more than a dot on the horizon, Ermal, Fabrizio and the children walked back to the house. Anita and Libero were in front of them, somehow still filled with endless energy. 

"You looked a bit wary, when you came back from your walk with the doctor," Fabrizio started quietly, so the wind wouldn't carry their conversation to the children. 

"Hmm," Ermal answered only, a bit miffed that his crying hadn’t gone unnoticed as he had planned. 

"Did he tell you something that he didn't say to us? Is there something wrong?" 

Ermal could hear Fabrizio's nerves and worry in the slight quiver of his voice, and he was quick to dispel them. 

"No, no, nothing, he said you are all doing fine, much better, he didn't see any cause for concern. He would have told you if he had."

"Then why…?"

There was a brief silence, in which Ermal tried to formulate an answer. 

"I told him everything that had happened, and it just was a bit much. With your health and the food and then the storm on top of it." 

Fabrizio nodded thoughtfully. "So it was bad?" 

"It was quite bad," Ermal finally admitted, finally answering Fabrizio's question of earlier that day honestly. 

Fabrizio paused their walk, and turned to Ermal. "Thank you. For everything." 


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's another day on the island, but now with full supplies and everything a family needs :)

There was a different feeling to it, when Ermal woke up that morning. Even though he’d already known Fabrizio had planned to stay for another month at least, now that Andrea and Dino had come and gone, it was really real. There was no chance to go, they were going to stay.

Yes, of course there was the possibility they would leave when Andrea and Dino next came, but that was still only in two weeks, and Ermal was inclined to believe they would at least stay the whole month.

So this morning, it marked the beginning of something stable. No longer did Ermal have to be afraid one of his guests was too ill and wouldn’t make it, no longer were they on the brink of running out of food, no longer did he have to be prepared that any day could be the day they left. Fabrizio, Libero, and Anita would stay, and it made him glad.

As dawn had broken, he turned off the light, adding oil to fill up the reserves, and, as it was early, cleaning the mirrors too, so that that was out of the way. When he made it downstairs again, he found Anita and Libero seated at the kitchen table, giving helpful hints to Fabrizio, who was setting the table, but who struggled to find plates and mugs on the first try of opening the cupboards.

For a second, Ermal paused in the tower’s doorway, letting his eye roam over the scene. It seemed so… normal. Like they were a family. Like he had a family, here on the island. People who helped him, shared his meals, shared some of the tasks that were necessary for a household. He stood there, until Libero noticed him and flashed him a bright smile. Anita followed his gaze and found Ermal.

“Ermal! Good morning! Where were you so long?”

At that, Fabrizio also turned, and after a good morning looked a bit sheepishly at the evidence of his search through the cabinets.

“I’m sorry, I thought I’d start breakfast, but then...”

“No, it’s okay, thank you!” Ermal interrupted him, before he could say anything more, and walked the few steps to the kitchen.

“You already found most, and here you can find the bread – or whatever’s left of it, we’ll bake some more, and there is some fruit. Oh, and tea is here on the shelf, please feel free to take some whenever you like.”

Fabrizio nodded, a light shining out of his eyes that Ermal found it hard to look away from.

“Great, I’ll get some eggs, and some more things to eat from the storeroom. I’ll be back soon!”

Foregoing his coat this morning, though regretting it as the wind sliced through his shirt, Ermal stepped outside, breathing in the cold fresh air, salty from the sea as always.

At the clucking of the hens, he stroked them when they let him, and promised that food would come soon, after he’d eaten himself. He gathered the eggs and then made his way back inside. Fabrizio had just put on a pan on the stove so the eggs could be fried, and in Ermal’s absence he had already made a pot of tea.

Ermal enjoyed the heat that the oven emitted, listening to the chatter of Fabrizio and Anita, while keeping an eye on the eggs. Finally, they were done, and he slid them on the plates. He took a seat at the table too, and they all enjoyed breakfast.

“But Ermal, where were you so long this morning?” Anita repeated, her previous question having gone unanswered.

“This morning I also cleaned he mirrors and the lamp. They need to be clean so the light shines through it well, and reaches far out to all the ships on the sea. And really, it doesn’t take that long. There are some very modern lighthouses that are much bigger, and there they cleaning can take more than thirty hours! I’m very happy with my small tower!”

Anita looked incredulously at him.

“Thirty hours? That’s almost a hundred!”

Ermal smiled at the girl.

“And for that lighthouse, they have to wind the mechanism every four hours all through the night to keep it turning, because it is so big and heavy. Luckily I can do it much less often, just in the evening is enough. Only in the longest nights in winter with bad weather, I might have to do it again, because the light is on longer.”

Really, his lighthouse wasn’t so bad, despite the isolation.

Ermal negotiated that he’d take care of the animals first, before the reading lesson, and stepped out of the house again as soon as the table had been cleared, the dishes stacked on the counter. He would get to them later. The chickens and Fjolla had waited long enough for their breakfast.

He scattered out the seeds, watching how the chickens pecked at them enthusiastically. When he offered, Sabina pecked some seeds from his hand, and when it was empty, Ermal stroke across her feathers. Always when he was near his chickens like this, he wondered how his family was doing. The letters were so few and far in between, the news always just a little old.

He missed them. It was so hard to visit, he’d have to send a letter to the society of lighthouse keepers to apply for a replacement while he was gone, because the light had to be lit. He had tried sometimes, especially to be able to attend Sabina’s wedding – his little sister, all grown up, and marrying now, starting her own family! – but after a month of waiting for a reply, the letter had been no more than a disappointing ‘we cannot find anyone to replace your post at this moment’. Ermal knew that there was a shortage of lighthouse keepers, especially those willing to wait for the unlikely event they would actually be needed, and having to make a living in some other way the rest of the time. There was something about the lighthouses that bound you to them once you worked in one for a longer time. Each had their own personality, somehow, its own specific light and special quirks to get used to. That was hard to give up, meaning lighthouse keepers stayed in the tower until the bitter end, taking care of  _ their _ light. So there was that, but he knew that the location of his island in particular did not help matters. It scared people, and he could see why, if they weren’t used to being so cut off.

For Sabina’s wedding, Andrea had offered to take his place, but Ermal felt uncomfortable leaving his friend alone with the light. Even if he could show him the core of his tasks, what if something unexpected happened? What if something broke? And the ledgers needed to be kept to a standard. There was not enough time, between the negative reply to find replacement and when he would have to leave to make it on time, to teach Andrea properly. And besides, he would be gone for two weeks at least, and Andrea wasn’t a person to deal with the loneliness too well. Ermal didn’t want to put that on him, no matter how tempting the offer. Dino might have been fine for the two weeks on his own, but he had his own family to take care of, and he couldn’t just leave them.

So Ermal stayed, but he couldn’t deny he missed his family. At least, in her letters, Sabina seemed cheerful, happy with the changes in her life, describing in detail her new house when she had just moved, and all the chores that now kept her busy. Of course she’d helped their mother around the house, but running your own household was quite something else. Those letters between brother and sister, in late fall and early winter, had been filled with little tips and tricks that each had discovered to make their life a little easier.

But now, with the most recent letters, the feeling of missing them, and the desire to be home had grown again. Some months ago, Sabina had written the amazing news that she was with child, and in her last letter she had expressed she would love it if Ermal would be able to visit when the baby was born. It was still some time away, but with the preparation it would take to find someone to take over the lighthouse and the preparations for Ermal’s journey, she had asked in time.

Shaking his mind back to the present, Ermal vowed he would do his best to make the journey home this year at least, and left his chickens to roam, and made his way to fill Fjolla’s trough. The sheep herself was nowhere to be found, and Ermal hoped she was just enjoying the early spring grass on the meadow, and not in another bout of sulking for not getting enough attention.

Then, Ermal walked back to the house, and even though it wasn’t really cold outside, the warmth that greeted him inside was welcome. Libero was seated at the table, looking through the pages of one of the children’s books with utmost concentration, while Anita had turned to drawing on some paper. Fabrizio was in the rocking chair, watching them.

As he entered, Libero looked up, the question in his eyes.

“I’m coming, Libero, just first -” Ermal had wanted to first get the dishes done, so they would be out of the way, but when his gaze fell on the counter, it was empty.

“I still get tired quickly, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to sit around doing nothing. That’s no way to repay you,” Fabrizio explained softly.

Ermal smiled at him, “Thank you,” he said, and a warmth settled in his chest. This month, it would be an easy one, the household chores shared, and company to fill the hours.

He took a seat at the table.

“What are you doing?” he asked the children.

“I’m making my own book!” Anita said, as she drew her picture, with little signs that were almost letters making up a title only she could read.

“That’s lovely! I look forward to you reading it to me! And you, Libero?”

Still, the reading lessons were pretty much the only time Libero would speak, but his turns had grown longer, and Ermal had found he could also gently get him to speak about more than what the reading practice demanded.

“I’m trying to read,” he said, “But I only knew one word so far!” He sounded a little disappointed.

“Let’s add some letters today, and see what new words we can make, okay?”

He showed both children the letters, the sounds they made and how to write them. It was clear that this pace was going too fast for Anita, but she didn’t seem to mind, and Ermal decided he could just repeat everything for her later. Libero picked it up quickly now, having some trouble memorising the letters, and confusing the ones that were similar, but he’d understood the principle, and all that he lacked now was practice. That was easy to provide.

As always, Ermal ended with a chapter from the story book, this time pausing when he noticed a word with letters Libero all knew, so the boy could figure out the word. With the story finished, Ermal shut the book.

“Can we go and play outside?” Anita asked, jumping up from her chair.

“Let’s have some lunch first, and then you can go, okay?” Ermal suggested, getting up to move around the kitchen.

“We could eat outside, maybe?” Fabrizio suggested, appearing next to Ermal to help.

Ermal looked out the window, checking the weather. It was a beautiful day, and the sun was streaming down.

“Of course,” he said, “I’ll get you a sweater to put on.”

He hadn’t had time yet to look through the children’s clothes that were brought yesterday, so at least for lunch the children had to make do with Ermal’s oversized sweaters. When they would play, they could go without.

With their plates of food and mugs of tea, they settled on the bench that stood against the house’s wall, where the warmth of the sun radiated from the back as well as shining from above. It just fit the four of them, the bench, and Ermal enjoyed the atmosphere. The feeling that he had this morning coming down from the tower was back. They could be some form of makeshift family, at least for a month.

Soon enough, the food was gone, and after taking the plates and mugs inside, Ermal rejoined Fabrizio on the bench. They watched Anita and Libero play in companionable silence. Fjolla had decided to show her face, to the great delight of Anita, who ran over to the sheep, Libero following a bit more slowly. Ermal smiled at the sight. These two children, and Anita in particular, would do a fine job of giving Fjolla all the attention that she craved.

“When you’re really better, I’ll give you all a tour of the island,” Ermal said to Fabrizio. “Then I’d be more comfortable letting them play in the meadow too – if that’s okay with you of course,” he added quickly, remembering just in time that they were in fact not a family, and that Fabrizio had the final say, no matter what Ermal’s ideas were.

Fabrizio only nodded, his eyes still on his children, and now Ermal’s eyes were on Fabrizio. The fever’s red spots had long gone, and the paleness that followed had disappeared too. Now, Fabrizio’s complexion showed that until very recently, he was used to spending his days outside, exposed to the sun. His freckles were clearly visible, even after the last winter, and as he squinted his eyes against the sun, gentle wrinkles showed how it was a habit. His beard had grown out of the stubble he had arrived with, and it was shot through with grey hairs. The grey was present, though less obvious, in his hair too, that stood up in all directions, even though Ermal could swear he’d seen Fabrizio try to comb it down this morning.

“Do I have something on my face?” Fabrizio asked suddenly, startling Ermal from his thoughts and into the realization that he had been staring.

“No, it’s just, you look really good – I mean, you look much better!”

“I feel much better,” Fabrizio answered after a heartbeat of silence. “Maybe that tour of the island doesn’t have to wait too long.”

Ermal smiled in response to that, and then added, “Is there anything you need? I thought maybe we could go through the things Dino and Andrea brought for the children, and see what’s there?”

Fabrizio nodded and got up, following Ermal to the storeroom. Sorting through crates of food and tools and other things, they looked through the items.

“I can’t believe this is all for us!” Fabrizio sighed, as he opened another crate that was filled with some toys and a bundle of blankets and clothes.

“The people are glad to help,” Ermal answered, though he had to admit his heart had also been softened at seeing exactly how much the town’s people had donated. “They know to fear the sea at times, and I don’t doubt the thought played through their minds that if it was them, they would like someone to help them.”

In the end, they had collected a stack of blankets so big they solved any problems of having no mattresses for the children, because the blankets would be more than enough. They had also made a selection of clothes that would most likely fit Libero and Anita.

“I’ll let them try them on tonight,” Fabrizio said. “And anything that doesn’t fit, we can return to people that need them.”

“It’s okay, there is no rush,” Ermal answered, smiling a faint smile at how Fabrizio’s reaction aligned with his. He thought back on Dino telling him how, in the close knit town, children’s clothes were kept and mended and handed around to whoever had children that fit in them. It made no sense to have each family spend money on clothes when their neighbours had some that their children had grown out of, and grandchildren couldn’t wear yet. And despite the distance, Ermal and the lighthouse were part of the town.

The sun had started on its way to the horizon, and Ermal realized time had gone faster than he had expected. He’d wanted to get so much done, but now the vegetable garden had to wait till tomorrow to be tended to, and he would focus his attention next on clearing the loft. Cleaning could be done another day, but he wanted at least to take any items that might still be lingering there, down.

“Let’s take all the ingredients for dinner,” he told Fabrizio, before they made their way back to the house. “I’d wanted to also sort through all the new food supplies, but I guess they’ll keep until I get to them. Tomorrow, maybe.”

“Please tell me what I can do. I know I can’t really do much, with the light and all, but the children and I could take over some of your chores as well. Maybe the animals, I’m sure Libero would love to take care of the chickens.”

“Of course, we can talk about it. For now, just get better and get used to everything, feel at home. That’s important,” Ermal answered, his mind going over some possibilities regardless. He had seen Libero with the chickens, and yes, that was a very good option. Maybe Anita and Fabrizio could take care of Fjolla, and then the light and the animals would all be done before breakfast.

“I can cook dinner?” Fabrizio suggested, not really letting Ermal get away with the ‘you don’t have to do anything’.

“If you want to,” Ermal finally allowed him. “Let me know if you can’t find something or need help. It’s okay if you go and sit down for a bit.”

“I’ve sat all day, except just now. I’ll be fine.”

“Okay,” Ermal smiled, “Then I’ll be up on the loft.”

With the clatter of pots and pans and plates coming up faintly through the floorboards, Ermal shone his lantern on the space, illuminating the darkness and revealing some boxes, old buckets of paint, and some tools. Carefully, he took them down the ladder, just once having to ask Fabrizio to help him. When the floor space was empty, he took a broom up, and swept it all, finding some old nuts in a corner that had been there who knew how long.

It looked already much better, free of clutter, and the floor free of dust. They could definitely make something of this. Tomorrow he’d do some cleaning, and he would make a fence near the edge and some extra handholds around the ladder. Then all that was left were the beds, some more light, and maybe some toys to make it look more like a space where children lived.

A place where children lived… Ermal hadn’t thought that the lighthouse would ever see that, at least not while he was the keeper of the place. He wouldn’t say the island was the best place to raise children, and didn’t think he would want that, starting a family who would never know the joys of having neighbours, who didn’t have the support of other people around. But now they were here, and to these children the lighthouse was a place of safety, a place to recover from what happened to them. And now that they were here, Ermal noticed how he had missed the simple joy that children brought to a place.

He clambered down the ladder for the last time that day, the broom gripped in a few fingers as he made his way down.

“That’s done for today,” he announced, and found Fabrizio’s eyes with a smile.

“Great! Thank you! This is also almost done,” Fabrizio said, gesturing to the stove.

“I’ll wash up then from all the dust up there. Are Libero and Anita still outside?”

He saw Fabrizio nod, and after he had splashed water on his face and arms to get rid of all the dust, he called Anita and Libero, telling them dinner was ready. They were ready to run into the house, but at the state of them, Ermal called them back to the water pump.

“Look at you, what did you do? Roll through the sand?” He splashed water in their direction, making the children giggle.

They gave no answer to his question, though, raising the suspicion in Ermal’s mind that that was exactly what they’d done.

Finally, he was satisfied with their cleanliness, and they trooped back inside where Fabrizio sat at the table, a smile on his face, no doubt having been able to see them through the window. Dinner passed, and Ermal was surprised by the flavour of the food. It was so different from what he cooked himself, with the same ingredients. It had been so long since he had last eaten something that hadn’t been cooked by himself, and he rather enjoyed the experience. His praise led to a soft blush on Fabrizio’s cheeks, or at least, that’s what Ermal fancied. It might just as well have been the light of the lamp on the table.

Ermal took charge of the washing up, overriding Fabrizio’s protests that he could help, but allowed Anita and Libero’s help. Then the evening passed slowly, but easily. Ermal taking up his knitting, while Fabrizio had Anita on his lap, the girl tired from playing outside all day. Libero amused himself with the dice and playing cards. There was the occasional remark, but mostly the silence in the room was filled with the clicking of Ermal’s knitting needles, finally working on those socks now, and his counting of the stitches and repetitions in the pattern.

Yes, this had been the first day of a stable month, and he could see exactly how it would be, and it made him dread all the more the time after, when the island was once more home to him alone, and he would have to fill the empty evenings by himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to update before Christmas, cause it's been a while. I hope you have time to read, and enjoy the story :)


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fabrizio, Libero and Anita start to feel more at home. And Ermal has another fairytale in store.

Being surrounded by water on all sides, it made sense that rain was a common occurrence. Ermal had his waterproofed coat, but he still preferred to not go outside too much in the rain. He took care of the necessities, yes, but after that he was perfectly capable of entertaining himself indoors.

After the nice, sunny days they’d had, Ermal wasn’t surprised to wake to a soft pattering of rain on the windows. It wasn’t like the storm they had, not at all, this was the insistent rainy drizzle that would occasionally heighten to something more, sometimes lessen until it was almost dry, but generally fell such that you would be drenched quicker than you expected.

Ermal noted down the weather and all other specifics into his ledger, after turning off the light. From safely inside the building, he looked out over the waves. In the distance, the horizon was blurred, waves and clouds weaving into one, the same solid grey colour. There wasn’t much wind, or at least, as little wind as an island in open sea would get, and the waves didn’t have the white foamy tops they sometimes had. This kind of weather meant the rain might last for hours, drizzling away. There was nothing but the grey waving sea, and the grey of the floating clouds above. It was calming, somehow, though Ermal was glad it wasn’t always like this, because this kind of monotone weather would make him feel trapped on the island in a way that even a proper storm didn’t.

He climbed down the ladder, down the spiralling stairs until he was back in the house. He put some more coals on the fire in the stove, as he stared out of the window. The animals needed to be fed, but the rain fell down more than before now, and Ermal didn’t really feel like going out. He didn’t have a choice, though.

As he finally pushed himself up from the window sill he had been leaning on and turned to the door, he found Libero awake, yawning a last time, but scrambling up from his bench.

“Good morning,” Ermal smiled, “I’ll go out to feed the animals, I’ll be back soon.”

“Can I come?”

It was soft, but this was nowhere close to a reading lesson, nor related to it, so it lit up Ermal’s heart.

“Of course, if you want. But it’s raining.”

Libero only shrugged at that, and kept looking at Ermal.

“Come on then, I’ll give you my umbrella,” Ermal said as he shrugged his coat on. He didn’t use the umbrella much, not with the wind on the island, but there wasn’t too much today, and it was a good solution for Libero, to cover the short distance to the chicken coop.

Once there, Ermal showed Libero what he did each morning, from greeting the chickens to feeding them and collecting the eggs they’d lain. Libero softly repeated their names when Ermal said them when he explained the picking order, and was rewarded with clucking and Rinald leaning in to be petted. Ermal was glad that his chickens were so quick to trust Libero, chickens weren’t the most social of animals, and rather shy around humans, but it would have been a pity to see Libero’s efforts come to nothing.

Without any worries, Ermal left Libero with the chickens, and went to Fjolla’s stable. He cleaned it quickly, and added some hay and water to the troughs. Fjolla was nowhere to be found – at first at least, because when Ermal was about to turn and go back to Libero, she came walking up to the stable perkily, bleating as she went. She’d been out in the rain, and Ermal winced when she pressed her sodden woolen coat into him. He’d taken of his own coat while working, and now his clothes were damp and stank of wet wool.

“Thanks, Fjolla. You know how to greet a friend,” he muttered, but couldn’t help petting her face and scratching her behind her ears. He had a soft spot for the sheep, smelly wool and all.

Finally, he left Fjolla, who wasn’t hesitant in the least to swap Ermal’s attention for the food he’d left, and went to find Libero. The boy was sitting on the coop’s floor, the chickens around him. Now it wasn’t just Rinald who had taken a liking to him, he’d managed to win over all five of them, it seemed.

Ermal watched the scene for a minute, endearing as it was, but then gently cleared his throat.

“Are you ready to go back, Libero? We can have breakfast with your father and sister. I’m sure they’re wondering what’s taking so long.”

Libero nodded, and slowly got up, so as not to startle any of his new friends. Ermal handed him the umbrella, and then they crossed the courtyard back to the house. Once inside, they tried to limit the dripping of water to just the area closest to the door.

Once he straightened up from untying the laces of his boots, Ermal found that Fabrizio and Anita didn’t seem like they had been wondering too much about the two poor people out in the rain. They’d set the table, and were now playing a game that involved dice and a lot of laughter. Fabrizio easily made space for Libero, when the boy climbed up on his knee to see what they were doing, and acknowledged Ermal’s presence with a quick smile, before turning his attention back on his children.

Ermal boiled the eggs for breakfast, and put them on the table, leaning over it to not interrupt the game. Despite his best intentions, he did anyway.

“Ew, Ermal, you stink!” Anita exclaimed, her nose wrinkled as she looked up.

“Anita!” Fabrizio chided, but Ermal noticed he had a smile on his face that said he didn’t disagree with his daughter.

“And that’s my thanks for bringing breakfast to the table!”

“I think Libero got the eggs, so your part in it was marginal at best!” Fabrizio shot back, his smile now a grin.

Ermal grinned back, knowing he couldn’t win this. And they were right, he knew that. “I’ll go change. Leave some food for me, please.”

It didn’t take more than a few minutes to dig a new sweater and pants from his chest of clothes and change into them, but when he got back to the kitchen, the plates that before had been empty and ready to be used were in three of the four cases filled with crumbs. The bread had disappeared from the basket and from the eggs there were just empty shells left.

Incredulously, Ermal stared at the table. This wasn’t possible, they couldn’t have eaten everything, not that quickly.

Then he noticed Anita’s barely concealed giggling, Libero kicking at her feet under the table, and the too innocent expression on Fabrizio’s face.

He knew exactly what happened. But he could play this game as well as the others.

“And I asked you so nicely to keep some of the food for me!” He stared at his clean plate with a feigned sad look.

“I’m sorry, we were unexpectedly hungry,” Fabrizio said, causing Anita another fit of giggles that bubbled up through the hands she pressed to her mouth to stop them.

“But I’m hungry too,” Ermal said. “Now what will I eat?”

Fabrizio only shrugged, a glimmer in his eyes, and Libero mirrored his father’s gesture.

Ermal sighed. “It’s already too late, you ate it all… But I guess I know exactly what I can eat then. You know what tastes really good, especially to hungry lighthouse keepers?”

Both Libero and Anita looked up at him, the question in their eyes.

“Sweet little children, who ate a lovely breakfast!”

Ermal made a grab for Libero, who sat closest to him, catching his arm, and pretending to eat his fingers, one by one. The boy wriggled in his grip, laughing, while Anita squealed in delight.

“Dear sir, no, don’t eat my son, please! I’ll give anything for his safe return!” Fabrizio interjected, pulling on Libero’s other arm.

“Anything?” Ermal asked, not pausing his quest for Libero’s fingers.

“I can offer a second breakfast. The best bread in the world, jam and some cheese, and eggs laid by the sweetest chickens!”

“Well,” Ermal said, slowly letting Libero go a little, “If that is what’s on offer, some negotiations could be made.”

“Negotiations?”

“Of course, I could just get the breakfast you describe while devouring this lovely, tasty child. There has to be something more you can offer in return, don’t you think so?”

Ermal flashed a grin at Fabrizio, and tugged Libero closer to him again, smacking his lips.

“Papa, save me!” Libero exclaimed, still laughing.

“Besides the second breakfast,” Fabrizio said quickly, “What about dinner? Another meal, just a few hours from now, cooked by yours truly, a recipe handed down through generations.”

Ermal looked at him in interest now, allowing Fabrizio to get Libero to safe grounds a bit more again.

“It will be worth it. All in all much better than a child, no matter how tasty he might be,” Fabrizio added, earning him another “Papaaa!” from Libero.

“Breakfast and dinner in exchange for the child. That sounds like a fair deal. It is accepted.” Ermal let go of Libero, who scrambled up in his father’s arms.

“But Ermal, you didn’t have to eat Libero! We had just hidden all the food, not eaten it!” Anita said, amidst a fit of laughter she could finally let go.

“Hidden it?!” Ermal exclaimed in mock surprise. Libero got up, and got plates of bread and eggs they’d hidden in the kitchen cupboards.

“Look! It’s all here!” Anita said, as Libero put it on the table.

“So it is! Let’s all eat then. Though, it is a pity I can’t have more of those tasty little fingers of yours. Here’s another ten!” Ermal said, playfully reaching for Anita’s arms, who quickly hid her hands underneath the table.

“Here, now everyone has their fair portion,” Fabrizio said, and divided the bread and eggs again over the plates. They ate, mostly in silence, except when Anita’s giggles bubbled up again. Fabrizio insisted on doing the dishes, while Ermal got all the necessities for the reading lesson.

After that, the children amused themselves, while Ermal and Fabrizio turned their attention to the loft. They cleaned it, mopping the floor, and getting all spider webs away from the ceiling.

“Now, I think I should make it a little safer, so they won’t fall down accidentally,” Ermal said, as they sat next to each other on the floor of the loft. It was easier than standing and stooping all the time.

“I can help with that,” Fabrizio nodded.

“Let’s do it tomorrow, we can now see if we have enough blankets and all to make the beds. Then the railing is all that’s left.”

Beds were quickly made, and when they were done, they called Libero and Anita to test them out.

“What do you think? Can you sleep here nicely?” Fabrizio asked them, as they wrapped themselves in the blankets.

“Very nicely!” Anita said enthusiastically, and Libero nodded too.

“That’s great!”

“Tonight? Ermal?”

Ermal had to smile. “No, not yet tonight. We’ll first make it a bit safer, but maybe tomorrow!”

Both children nodded, and scrambled down again, to continue the game that had been interrupted. Fabrizio and Ermal stayed seated on the floor of the loft.

“Thank you,” Fabrizio breathed, and Ermal had to shake his head.

“No thanks are needed. Anything I’m doing, I’m doing gladly.”

Fabrizio smiled a ghost of a smile. “Still. Ermal, at breakfast, I’m sorry if - ”

“No apologies are necessary either,” Ermal stopped him. “It was fun. And it was good to see you smile. All of you.”

“It’s just… I realized only after, you’re the one sharing your food with us, maybe I shouldn’t...”

“Fabrizio, this was without any doubt one of the most fun breakfasts I’ve had in a very long time. It gets lonely, here, you know.” Ermal added the last bit quietly, with a serious voice that seemed to clash with the light-heartedness in his first sentence.

Fabrizio met his eyes and nodded, acknowledging what Ermal shared. “It was a lot of fun. The children – I’m glad, even Libero...” He trailed off, but Ermal understood what he meant. It had been a relief to see Libero so playful, careless, enjoying the moment. Talking. Just a little, but talking nonetheless.

“Let’s go down? You promised a dinner,” Ermal said then, lightening the mood again.

“Yes, I better start with that, before the hungry lighthouse keeper turns on my children again,” Fabrizio chuckled, returning Ermal’s smile.

Ermal took Fabrizio to the storeroom to pick up all the ingredients he would need. He looked on at the things he picked, wondering what Fabrizio was going to make, because the combinations weren’t what he would usually put together.

When it was ready and a damping pot appeared on the table, even the smell was enough to make his stomach rumble. It was all that Fabrizio had promised, and Ermal found it delicious.

“If this is what I get in return for threatening your children, I can’t promise you that they are safe,” he joked, “It’s so good!”

Fabrizio’s cheeks heated up in a subtle blush as he took in the compliment. “Then I better keep offering dinners to prevent that, shouldn’t I?”

“Yes, I guess you should,” Ermal smiled.

In the evening, the clatter of the rain didn’t stop. Ermal had turned on the lighthouse’s lamp early, as the cover of clouds had sped up dusk. Anita watched the raindrops run down on the window’s glass.

“Ermal, can’t you tell us a story? I’m so bored!” she said dramatically, turning away from the glass, making her dress swirl around her legs.

Ermal noticed how Libero looked up interestedly at that too, and there wasn’t much choice left, really.

“Let’s all make ourselves comfortable on the bed, and I’ll see what I can do.”

“Yes!” Anita squealed and skipped to the bedroom, to jump on the bed, Libero following her a bit more calmly.

“Are you coming too?” Ermal asked Fabrizio, as he inspected some books to make a choice of a story that wouldn’t be too long, but fun.

They settled on the bed, Ermal in the middle, and this time it was Fabrizio who found a place at the foot of the bed, the situation similar but yet a thousand miles away from when Ermal had told his story during the storm, when Fabrizio had still been ill, when everything had been so unclear.

“The boy and the violin,” Ermal read, and began the story.

_ Once upon a time there was a man who had an only son. When the man died the son was left all alone in the world. There was not very much property — they just had had a cat and a dog, a small piece of land, and a few orange trees. The boy gave the dog away to a neighbour, but kept the cat. He sold the land and the orange trees that he had inherited from his father. Every bit of money he got from the sale he invested in a violin. He had longed for a violin all his life and now he wanted one more than ever. It wouldn’t replace his father, but it would give him something nice in his life. While his father had lived he could tell his thoughts to his father, but now there was none to tell them to except the violin. What his violin said back to him made the very sweetest music in the world. _

_ The boy wanted to work as a shepherd to care for the sheep of the king, but he was told that the king already had plenty of shepherds and had no need of another. The boy took his violin which he had brought with him and hid himself in the deep forest. There he made sweet music with the violin. The shepherds who were nearby guarding the king’s sheep heard the sweet notes, but they could not find out who was playing. The sheep, too, heard the music. Several of them left the flock and followed the sound of the music into the forest, they found it so beautiful. They followed it until they reached the boy and the cat and the violin. _

_ The shepherds were greatly disturbed when they found out how their sheep were straying away into the forest. They went after them to bring them back, but they could find no trace of them. Sometimes it would seem to the shepherds that they were quite near to the place from which the music came, but when they hurried in that direction they would hear the strains of music coming from a distant point in the opposite direction. The shepherds were afraid of getting lost themselves in the thick forest growth, so they gave up in despair. _

_ When the boy saw how the sheep came to hear his music he was very happy. It was nice that others besides him liked his music, even if they were just sheep. His music was no longer the sad sweet sound it had been when he was lonely. It became happier and happier, just like the boy became happier and happier, letting the loss behind him, slowly. After a while the became so happy that the cat began to dance. When the sheep saw the cat dancing they began to dance, too. _

_ Soon a group of monkeys passed that way and heard the sound of the music that the boy was playing on his violin. They began dancing immediately. They laughed and chattered so much that they almost drowned the music. The boy threatened to stop playing if they could not be happy without being so noisy. After that the monkeys chattered less. _

_ After a while a tapir heard the jolly sound that spread through the forest. Immediately his threetoed hind feet and fourtoed front feet began to dance. He just couldn’t keep them from dancing; so he, too, joined the procession of boy, cat, sheep, and monkeys. _

_ Next the armadillo heard the music. In spite of his heavy armour he had to dance too. Then a herd of small deer joined the company. Then the ant-eater danced along with them. The wild cat and the tiger came, too. The sheep and the deer were terribly frightened of them, but they kept dancing on just the same, because the boy and his music spread such a feeling of happiness and safety. The tiger and wild cat were so happy dancing that they never noticed them at all, and they all danced together in peace. The big snakes curled their huge bodies about the tree trunks and wished that they, too, had feet with which they could dance. The birds tried to dance, but they could not use their feet well enough and had to give it up and keep flying. Every beast of the forests and jungles which had feet with which to dance came and joined the happy procession. _

_ The jolly company wandered on and on until finally they came to the high wall which surrounds the land of the giants. The enormous giant who stood on the wall as guard laughed so hard when he saw the boy with the violin followed by the cat and the sheep and all the other animals, that he almost fell off the wall. He took them to the king at once. The king, as well, laughed so hard that he almost fell off his throne. His laugh shook the earth. The earth had never before been shaken at the laugh of the king of the giants, though it had often heard his angry voice in the thunder. Earthquakes didn’t happen often, but when they did, the people knew the king of the giants had seen something so funny he couldn’t stop his laughter. _

_ Now it happened that the king of the land of giants had a beautiful giantess daughter who never laughed. She remained sad all the time. The king had offered half his kingdom to the one who could make her laugh, and all the giants had done their very funniest tricks for her. Never once had they brought even a tiny little smile to her lovely face. _

“ _ If my daughter can keep from laughing when she sees this funny sight I’ll give up in despair and eat my crown,” said the king of the land of giants, as he saw the jolly little figure playing upon the violin and the assembly of cat, sheep, monkeys all the other animals dancing to the happy music. If the giant king had known how to dance he would have danced himself, but it was fortunate for the people of the earth that he did not know how. If he had, there is no knowing what might have happened to the earth, it would have been something much worse than an earthquake. _

_ As it was, he took the boy and all the animals following him into his daughter’s palace where she sat surrounded by her servants. Her lovely face was as sad as sad could be. When she saw the funny sight her expression changed. The happy smile which the king of the land of giants had always wanted to see played about her beautiful lips. A gay laugh was heard for the first time in all her life. The king of the land of giants was so happy that he grew a league in height and nobody knows how much he gained in weight. For giants, height and weight are signs of respect, and the king had gained a lot, all through the help of the boy. _

“ _ You shall have half my kingdom,” he said to the boy, “Just as I promised if any one made my daughter laugh.” _

_ The boy from that time on reigned over half of the kingdom of giants as prince of the land. He never had the least bit of difficulty in preserving his authority, despite his small size, compared to the giants, for the biggest giants would at once obey his slightest request if he played on his violin to them and spread happiness to everyone who heard him. All the wild animals stayed in the land of the giants so long that they grew into giant beasts with time, but the boy and his violin and his cat always remained just as they were when they entered the land, and they were happy. _

There was a silence after Ermal finished the story. For a second, he thought the children had fallen asleep, but a good look showed that they hadn’t. Their eyes were shining in the dark, illuminated by the light near Ermal.

“I’ve never heard a violin! It must be so beautiful! Have you heard a violin, Ermal?” Anita asked.

“I have, yes,” Ermal answered her, memories of his childhood playing through his mind.

“And did it make you happy?”

“It did.” The violin had made him happy. He remembered his mother playing it at night, falling asleep to the magical sounds of it. He remembered her playing to him when he was scared, if she could, if his father was away from home. He remembered the sounds accompanying him throughout the years as he grew, until they stopped.

“Then why do you look so sad? Do you miss it so much?”

Anita’s questions were so innocent, but Ermal had to take a deep breath before he could continue and answer them.

“I do. And I don’t. My mother played the violin...”

“Ermal, you don’t...” Fabrizio filled the silence softly, but Ermal shook his head.

“When I was still a boy, I moved to a city very far away from where I was born, together with my mother, my brother and sister and my grandmother. We had to sell the violin to have enough money to live. I haven’t heard my mother play since, and I would like it if she would again. But if she would, I would have to think again of some very sad things that happened when she still played it. Moving made our lives much better, a little like it was for Ennio, remember the story I told you? So like the boy in the story just now, we used the violin to give ourselves a better, happier life. So it was worth it, selling the violin, and not hearing its music anymore.”

“Ennio became happy after he moved so far, didn’t he?” Anita asked softly.

“Yes. And I did too. Moving to a new place is not always a bad thing,” Ermal said, just as softly, hoping the children would pick up what he wasn’t saying. Their move was a sudden one and a shock, but they could still be happy.

Then he moved on swiftly, gathering his thoughts. He didn’t want them to linger on those sad thoughts of moving and leaving the home they’d always known. He had tried his best to find a story with a happy end, so now he tried to steer things back to a bit more happiness.

“I can’t offer the sounds of a violin,” he started, “but I do happen to play the accordion. Would you like to hear that?”

Both Anita and Libero nodded eagerly, and Ermal untangled himself from the blankets, climbing from the bed to get the instrument. He returned minutes later with the box it resided in in his hands. He put it on the bedside table and opened the lid, taking out the accordion. He sat down on the bed, and put on the accordion’s shoulder straps.

Looking up again, he found that he had an audience, with three people looking at him expectantly. Ermal smiled into the silent room, positioned his fingers on the keys and the bass buttons, before moving the bellows to make the music flow through the room.

He had chosen a happy tune, of course he had, but he wasn’t quite prepared for the looks of delight that it painted on the children’s faces – and on that of Fabrizio, who switched between looking at Libero and Anita’s expressions, and Ermal.

“It’s so beautiful! And fun! I’m like the cat, I have to dance!” Anita exclaimed, and jumped up from the bed, to do exactly that. Libero followed her soon after, and even Fabrizio was dragged into it. The room wasn’t really big enough to be used as a dancefloor, but that didn’t matter, they made do with what they had.

Ermal played and played, his heart light, and like the boy from the story he had told, he found it easy to play the happy tunes now that he wasn’t alone to enjoy them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed it!  
> 'The boy and the violin' is a Brazilian folk tale, that I found and slightly adapted from https://www.worldoftales.com/South_American_folktales/South_American_Folktale_25.html.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day has finally come: Today is the last day Ermal will wake up on the hard kitchen floor. Today he and Fabrizio will turn the loft into a great place for the children to sleep!

Today could be the last day that Ermal woke up on the floor like this for a while. He realized it when his eyes opened, and his back cracked as he stretched. He couldn’t say he would miss it, and he wouldn’t admit it to Fabrizio, he would only feel guilty, but Ermal was glad he could sleep in a proper bed again soon.

As usual, he turned off the light and updated his log books. The sky was grey as the distant waves, though this morning it wasn’t raining for the moment. The rest of the house was still in peace when Ermal returned downstairs, and he decided to first tend to the animals. 

The morning reminded him of the time on the island before Fabrizio and Libero and Anita had arrived. Standing here among the chickens and with Fjolla eating and sniffing on the other side of the wall, there was not a sign to tell him all the ways his life had changed recently.

The signs were there, though, so clearly there, when he arrived back in the house. Even with the short time and their so limited number of possessions, the presence of Fabrizio and the children could be seen. There were of course the blankets spread around the room to make more sleeping space, there were the clothes that Fabrizio and Ermal had selected for Libero and Anita, but that they had just put in a corner, in lack of a better place to store them for now. There were toys and games and books. There were four plates and cups on the table, instead of just the solitary single one Ermal used to use.

And there were, of course, the people themselves, who, after having laid the table, were now piled on Ermal’s old rocking chair. At the opening of the door, they looked up, and all three smiled at Ermal. He smiled back, of course he did, he couldn’t have stopped his lips from moving even if he had wanted to.

His life had changed recently, unexpectedly and profoundly, but in the best way.

“Good morning! Are you ready for breakfast?”

He got enthusiastic replies in return and it was remarkable how quick everything came together with the table already set and all breakfast items gathered. Breakfast was followed by the obligatory reading lesson and the reading out loud after. Ermal was so proud of the children’s attention, and though it was slow, the progress was clear, especially in Libero.

When he closed the book and the children scrambled up to go and play, Ermal turned to Fabrizio. 

“Do you want to work on the railing of the loft later? After lunch, maybe? I have some wood we can use for it.”

“Of course! Actually, I apprenticed as a carpenter, it shouldn’t be too hard to put a railing together.”

Ermal looked up surprised at that. He had expected Fabrizio to always have been a fisherman, maybe not on open sea, but a river instead, as his boat suggested, but he hadn’t expected he’d made such a change in profession. He couldn’t help but wonder what had prompted that change, but he didn’t ask. He didn’t want to pry.

“That sounds great! I’ll be outside, I saw that one of the sheds roofs needs to be repaired.”

Fabrizio nodded, “I’ll go through the rest of the children’s clothes, and tidy up here. I don’t understand how we made such a mess so quickly, and none of these things are even ours! We should be more careful with them.”

“Fabrizio, everything here is yours as long as you’re staying. Also the things brought from town. Please make this your home for the time being.”

Fabrizio smiled at Ermal, and nodded slowly, as if he couldn’t quite believe everything was really his to use. Ermal nodded back more decidedly, and then left the house. He made a walk around all the buildings to see if the storm had done any more damage than the one roof he had noticed already. It didn’t seem to, though a new coat of paint for some buildings wasn’t a bad idea in a couple of weeks. That could wait, however, and he focused his attention now on the roof he’d seen before. He got out the ladder and put it up against the wall, and repaired the shingles. He started whistling, making Fjolla come up to him, sniffing at the ladder, curious at what was going on. As there was neither food nor attention to be had, she ambled off again, without noticing Ermal high up in the air, where humans were not supposed to be.

Ermal made it down and back inside the building to check the roof there. Moving between the sheds, he felt the first drops of rain on his skin, but a glance at the sky showed that it would be no more than a short shower.

He took the chance to organise some more of the crates and their contents that Andrea and Dino had brought on their last trip to the island, and found one with more assorted toys. Smiling, he took out some slightly battered stuffed toys and a rag doll. They would do very well to keep the children company as they moved to the loft, which would be such a change from sleeping close to adults who could keep them safe.

As he was on it, he also took two empty crates, they could serve as a place to store clothes and toys for Libero and Anita. Like he had expected, the rain had let up when he made it out of the storeroom again, and now the sun was even shining through the clouds a little.

It was high time for a late lunch, so Ermal and Fabrizio gathered Libero and Anita at the kitchen table, which was a hard enough task, as they were in the midst of a game involving their new toys, and eager to go back to it. Over the meal, Fabrizio and Ermal discussed what shape and form the railing would have to have, and as soon as the plates were cleared away, they started on their task.

Ermal handed Fabrizio his folding ruler, while he gathered pieces of wood and the tools they’d need. Fabrizio soon was back with all the measurements, and they set to work, marking the pieces of wood and sawing them. As they would have to get the railing up on the loft somehow, they had decided to first make all the separate pieces, and put them together on the loft itself. First though, all the pieces needed to be sanded, something that would take a little more time than the sawing had done. It took a while to get all splinters off and give the wood an even finish. They had been working in companionable silence, only broken by a few instructions and comments on their job.

As he let the wood go through his hands and polished the pieces, Ermal’s mind wandered off under the monotone task. He had observed Fabrizio in the past days. Ever since he had told Ermal what had happened to him, Ermal had been surprised by how well he was keeping it together. There had been his break down after he had told Ermal, and the following time he had kept to himself. There had been that, but that was all Ermal had noticed.

Overall, Fabrizio had been talking, laughing, playing, joking, and smiling. Nothing reminded Ermal of that broken man that had sat next to him on the bed. But that broken man was not gone and healed already. He couldn’t be. So Ermal wondered about that, and mostly about how Fabrizio was doing. He doubted for a minute whether he should bring it up at all or if it was better to let it be. Eventually he decided that he wanted to now, and he took a breath that felt suddenly loud over the soft rustling of the sanding.

“How are you feeling?”

There was a silence before the answer came, showing they both knew the significance of that question. Fabrizio’s sandpaper paused and was as mute as he himself was for a minute. “It were busy days.”

Ermal nodded at that, letting the unclear answer be. He could get what Fabrizio meant. He hadn’t given himself a chance to sit down with nothing to do and get lost in the dark thoughts that plagued him. Ermal could understand, but that didn’t mean it was the best thing to do.

“You shouldn’t push your feelings away, Fabrizio, they will only come back stronger. You will have to deal with them, better sooner rather than later. Let me know if you ever want to talk, okay?”

From the corner of his eye, Ermal saw Fabrizio nod, but he stayed focused on his sanding. Ermal didn’t want to force him to talk, so decided to let the topic drop.

After a few more moments of sanding in silence, he added, his voice clearly lighter and less serious than before, “If you want to stay busy…”

“If I want to stay busy?”

Ermal was glad to hear the same change in Fabrizio’s voice too.

“Well, I wondered, do you happen to have any experience shearing sheep?

“Sheep?” Fabrizio repeated, his voice flat, an eyebrow rising and a smile appearing on his face as his eyes flickered towards Fjolla’s stable. 

“Hmm,” Ermal answered, “Ever done that?”

“Can’t say that I have.”

“I can offer you the perfect chance to change that! How do you feel about trying?” Ermal asked, his voice half joking, but behind it was a seriousness. He really would like some help to prevent a repetition of last year. He didn’t think Fjolla would like it very much, nor would he, for that matter.

Fabrizio sighed, still smiling.

“Sure, we can try.”

Ermal smiled back at him, gratefully. They continued their sanding until all the pieces of wood were smooth and free of splinters.

“What do you say?” Ermal asked, as he brushed the dust of the wood off his hands. “Is it ready? Should we go in and assemble?”

Fabrizio let his fingers run once more over the piece of wood in front of him, and then nodded approvingly.

“It looks great! I can’t wait for it to all come together.”

Ermal nodded too, and started gathering the planks and the tools they would need. He hoped they could put everything together from the loft itself, but he could get the ladder if they needed it. They took the wood piece by piece up the ladder, and then started to assemble the railing. Ermal let Fabrizio take the lead, and put the nails where he was instructed. It was clear Fabrizio knew what he was doing.

Quickly everything was put together, and fastened to the floor boards and the sides of the roof. Right as Ermal put in the last nail of his side, Fabrizio straightened up from his side. He stretched his arms as far as the confined space allowed him, making his shoulders pop.

“Now just some handholds around the ladder” he said, looking at the railing with an expression of pride. Ermal followed his gaze with a similar expression and had to admit it looked good, sturdy and safe, and also a sign that this family would stay for a while, long enough to make this worth the effort.

“Do you need my help with that? If not, I’ll go and tend the garden before dinner, because otherwise it will grow only food for the chickens and not for us.”

“No, sure, go ahead. I’ve got everything under control here!”

“Let me know if you anything, or any help!”

“I will.”

After making his way down the ladder, Ermal put his tools away, and exchanged them for some gardening tools. He took a moment to check on Libero and Anita. They were still able to amuse themselves very well, so Ermal didn’t feel too bad for leaving them to their own devices for a little while longer. It was almost dinner time, and they knew where to find him or Fabrizio.

The vegetable patch was quick to get in a good shape. The weeding was soon done and watering wasn’t necessary with the rain. The first plants that had grown above the ground looked healthy enough despite their salty and windy conditions.

After washing away both the dust of the wood and the dirt of the garden, Ermal made his way inside again. To his surprise, he found Fabrizio at the stove, stirring a damping pot that smelled nice and made Ermal’s stomach rumble.

“Thanks for starting dinner!” he said, as he moved around Fabrizio to set the table.

“Of course,” was the only answer he got. For a second, Ermal lingered around the stove, curious to see what Fabrizio was all putting into the pot. Eventually he tore his attention away.

“Where are Libero and Anita?”

In response, Fabrizio pointed the wooden spoon in his hand at the ceiling, making some sauce splatter and sizzle on the hot stovetop. “Eager to test their new beds.”

Ermal smiled at that news. “Do you know their verdict?

Fabrizio looked at him before he answered.

“They love it.” There was a bright smile on his face. “I’m glad it’s working like this, and that you’re willing to do so much to make us feel at home. I really appreciate it. There’s not many who would do the same as you. Thank you.”

Ermal nodded at the speech, at yet more thanks. He could see Fabrizio’s point, he guessed, it was true that not many people would go to all these lengths for some strangers that wouldn’t be staying long. But in his case it wasn’t all just charity. There was the selfish part of him that just wanted to keep this family around for a bit longer.

“The food is almost ready,” Fabrizio interrupted his wandering thoughts, making Ermal nod another time. He climbed up the ladder to call Libero and Anita for dinner, and to see with his own eyes what the finished loft looked like. 

It looked quite different from how he had left it, that was for sure. When they were making the railing, they had pushed the stacks of blankets to the back in a messy pile, just so they were out of the way from any saw dust or falling nails, and the loft had been bare except for that. Now there were two neatly made beds on one end of the loft, each next to the chimney for extra warmth. Fabrizio had taken the crates Ermal had brought and put them against the railing, filled with stacks of clothes and the toys that now belonged to the children. With some spare nails he had put up pictures drawn by Anita and Libero up against the roof, and he had found an old towel that now acted as a rug on the floorboards. It all made the space instantly feel more homely. 

“Dinner is ready,” Ermal told Libero and Anita, after his eyes had traveled around the room to settle on the children. They got up and one by one they clambered down the ladder and took a seat at the table, where Fabrizio had already filled the plates.

As they ate, Anita chattered on about the games they’d played and about the loft, and about how much she liked it. Ermal met Fabrizio’s eyes and found the same light there that was no doubt in his own. 

“And you, Lib, do you like it?” Fabrizio then asked his son, involving him in the conversation too. They had all expected a smile and a nod, as they had gotten used to, but Libero surprised them all, by mumbling between two bites of his food, “Very much.”

Fabrizio’s face lit up more at that, and it wasn’t only Libero’s appreciation that caused it, and Ermal couldn’t stop himself and reached out to ruffle through the boy’s hair. Progress was made, and as time passed, he had good hopes Libero would be okay.

Libero and Anita insisted to wash the dishes after dinner, so Ermal helped them with the water, and then sank down in his rocking chair, reaching for his knitting. He didn’t have a lot of time before the light had to be turned on, and he had to check on the animals and make them ready for the night, but he could sit and relax for a minute.

Eventually, the sun had sunk to the horizon, and he had no choice but to go up to the light. He wound it and then lit it, before turning to his ledgers with a small lamp. When he was finished with that, he took the stairs down to shrug on his coat and go out to see to the animals and get some more water.

“Why don’t you join Ermal, Libero?” Fabrizio asked, as he was ready to step outside. Libero nodded and got up, putting on a sweater they had found in the pile of clothes from town. It was a little too big, but he would no doubt quickly grow into it.

Ermal waited for him, thinking about how Fabrizio had suggested Libero take over looking after the chickens from him, and this was a good way to get him familiar with the task. They crossed the courtyard to the chicken coop.

“It’s already dark, so we’ll just check if they’re all safe inside, and give them a little extra food for the morning,” he explained, and did exactly that. For Fjolla it was easier, she was still out somewhere, preferring different spots on the island to sleep. They just had to top up her water and food, and it was all done.

Back inside, it seemed that not only was it bedtime for the chickens, also children were yawning more than not, tired from their busy day with new games. Fabrizio helped them get ready and settle in their new beds, but it took Ermal to read them a bedtime story, even though both of them were almost too tired to keep listening. He sat with his back against the chimney between the two beds, and when he finished the story, he softly closed the book. 

He wanted to untangle his legs beneath him and get up, but was stopped by the first patter of rain on the roof, sounding like feet slapping quietly on polished tiles. It would no doubt soon pick up, and Ermal worried about Libero and Anita. The roof was sound, there was no chance of leaking, but Ermal wondered if the children could sleep, so close to the rain and their memories.

Neither of them reacted to the sound, though, Libero buried himself deeper in the blankets like he'd done each night, and Anita smiled at him before clutching her rag doll close. Ermal stayed seated for a minute longer, until he was sure that both children were asleep. Then he climbed silently down the ladder to join Fabrizio in the kitchen.

"I didn't think they would just go to sleep... With the rain clattering on the roof, I feared they would be reminded of the storm..." he muttered, wrapping his hands around a mug of tea that Fabrizio had ready for him.

"There’s the excitement of a new thing, born not of tragedy but of safety, a place just for them. And it’s the safety that gets them to sleep. Thank you, Ermal."

Ermal shook his head. He didn't want to be thanked for this. If the children really felt so safe that they just went to sleep despite the rain - he could only be happy, so incredibly happy and  _ relieved  _ about that. Fabrizio had already thanked him for letting them stay, for the loft, for everything, and it was more than enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! <3


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evening has fallen, and it's time for Fabrizio and Ermal to go to bed. The same bed. How will that go? Facts are, they need their energy, because they will also explore the island!

With the children asleep and all chores completed, there was not much to do. Fabrizio and Ermal sat in the room for a while the only sound the clicking of Ermal’s knitting needles and occasionally Fabrizio’s yawns.

“I’ll go to sleep soon, I guess I’m still tired sooner than I’d like,” he muttered after the third yawn in a row and Ermal’s look and smile at that.

“Sounds good. I won’t stay up long either, just finishing this bit.”

Fabrizio nodded, and yawned again, before he padded off to the bedroom. Ermal concentrated on his knitting, the colour changes and the counting of the stitches. He finished another repetition in the pattern, and then put his stuff away. It was late, it was time to sleep, the morning would come soon enough.

Fabrizio was already asleep when Ermal joined him. Even though he was tired, he didn't fall asleep immediately. He stayed awake, cataloguing all the ways in which it was different, sharing his bed. It involved almost all his senses. He could hear the sound of Fabrizio's soft regular breathing break up the silence in the room. He felt the mattress move slightly whenever Fabrizio turned in his sleep, and it made the old wooden bed frame creak a little. It was warmer too, trapping the body heat of two people in the blankets and the room, and Ermal wished he'd left the window open. Then there was Fabrizio's smell. It wasn't unpleasant, but it was just different, a clear sign that there was someone else close by.

Ermal wasn't used to sharing his bed like this. Not anymore. For so long he'd been on his own. It was so different, yet it called up so many memories, and he lay there in the dark, watching them replay in front of his eyes, no matter if he closed them or opened them to watch the beam of the light appear and disappear. It was strange in ways he had not been prepared for when he suggested this to Fabrizio. He would have to get used to this, and judging by how he didn’t fall asleep, it might take a while.

The second night, Ermal was tired, more so than the night before, and this time he did fall asleep quickly. But his time too, it was clear that he wasn't used to sharing the small space he had slept in on his own for so long with someone else. Out of habit, Ermal rolled over to sprawl out on the bed as he was used to, the way he normally could, only to now find this space already occupied by warm soft sleepy limbs. The night seemed endless, and Ermal lost count of how many times he woke up like that, resting against Fabrizio, suddenly subconsciously aware of something being different. Each time, he shuffled carefully back to his own side of the bed again, a bit embarrassed, and reluctant to go back to sleep in case it happened again - which it did. In the morning, Fabrizio didn’t say anything, didn’t act out of the ordinary in any way, but Ermal was sure he had noticed, he had to have.

And yet, regardless of his disturbed nights, he needed his energy. The days were busy as they always were, filled with chores and tasks to keep the island running, but with extra laundry and more baths. Now, his various jobs were made lighter by the help of other hands, both big and small, but of course the people belonging to the hands also took some energy. Reading lessons, jokes and stories, playing with the children, it was all fun and Ermal did it so happily, but he couldn't do it on no sleep. 

As Fabrizio said he felt definitely better, and the weather had cleared up nicely, with the sun shining from a blue sky, giving an impression of a lovely summer day, even if the temperatures were still a bit chilly. Ermal took the chance to take his guests on a tour around the island. He had been looking forward to show them the full extent of the place he called home, and maybe it would help to make Fabrizio, Libero, and Anita feel like they could be at home here too.

They started out the front door, past the vegetable patch and the buildings, swiftly crossing the grassy plain. These were known already. Ermal led the way down to the beach, but the children quickly overtook him on the way down, giggling as they approached the lapping waves that made the smallest pebbles ring. 

Ermal followed them, keeping an eye on them and trying to keep them away from the water's moving edges. It was only when he turned to see where Fabrizio had gone to that he realized he'd forgotten one detail. 

Fabrizio had approached his boat, as it still lay up on the beach where Ermal had dragged it to, safe from the waves even when they would be high in an unexpected storm. Ermal told Libero and Anita quickly to be careful and stay out of the water, and then slowly made his way over to Fabrizio. He wasn't sure what Fabrizio was thinking, what he was feeling upon seeing that boat that had brought them to safety, but that had also taken them from everything they knew. 

As he reached the other man, he just extended a hand to run his fingers softly over the green painted wood. 

"Are you okay?" Ermal asked softly, his hand hovering above Fabrizio's shoulder for a moment, before he made up his mind and gently put it down, keeping his touch light so that Fabrizio could easily shrug him off if he wanted to. 

He didn’t, but seemed to lean into the touch for a second, gathering strength from it somehow, before he turned his face to look at Ermal, a shaky smile on his face.

“I am. Just the memories.”

“I hadn’t realized you hadn’t seen her again,” Ermal said, leaning into the boat’s side, but keeping an eye on Fabrizio to see if he was welcome to stay.  He could give Fabrizio a moment here, if that was what he needed, with his company or without.

“We owe a lot to her,” Fabrizio sighed once, and then shook his head, as if to dispel some of those memories he had mentioned. “She looks to be in a good condition, it’s surprising after the storms we had.”

“I’m sure she’s still seaworthy,” Ermal replied, though with a slight pang as he realized what that meant. Fabrizio didn’t need to wait for Andrea and Dino to return, if he wanted, he could just leave at any moment.

“For now, I think we’ve all had a bit too much of open sea,” Fabrizio muttered.

“As I said, you’re very welcome to stay. Neither your boat nor the sea will go anywhere.”

They stood there for a bit longer, each lost in his own thoughts as they leaned against the boat, their eyes on the children who were playing with the pebbles on the beach. After a while, it was time to move on. Although the island was small, Ermal still wanted to show it all and take his time, especially if they would let the children go off more on their own.

He pushed himself up from the wood, and glanced at Fabrizio. 

“Shall we go?”

Fabrizio nodded, and called to Libero and Anita. Ermal led the way again, up to the meadow, but now a less traveled path that went around the house, towards the cliffs. 

“You have to be careful here,” he warned the other three, “It can be dangerous here with the loose stones and high drops down.”

He held on to Libero’s hand as they approached the cliffs, Ermal didn’t want the boy to be scared of the distance down to the waves. Fabrizio held on to Anita, and helped her over the uneven ground.

“So the path goes round in a loop, we can just follow it until we’re back on the path down to the meadow,” Ermal explained as they walked. “Though after the winter, it’s sometimes hard to see where exactly the path is supposed to be, and there are some parts where it goes a bit too close to the edge.”

It was a nice walk, one Ermal tended to make most days in the nicer seasons, just to stretch his legs a little. Even with the changes of the winter, the ones he had tried to map already when he walked this with Simone, it felt familiar to him. It was a part of the island he particularly liked, with all the elements so close to him, the rocks, the wind, the water. It was wild even beyond the isolation of the island. The sea gulls glided past beside them, diving and rising besides the rocks, sometimes landing on the water to be no more than white specks on the waves below. Their shrill calls filled the air, the only sound besides the rustle of the wind through the grass. Occasionally a brave or stubborn gull sat in their path, and stayed there as if he owned it, only hopping aside while cawing indignantly when they got too close.

Ermal and Libero led the way, with Fabrizio and Anita following slowly. Ermal paused occasionally to give them a chance to keep up. He didn’t want them to hurry and make a misstep, not on terrain like this. Besides, they were in absolutely no rush.

On approximately half the round, on the tip of the island, he sat down in the grass, the others sitting down beside him in a sort of circle. It was almost the same spot as he had sat with Simone those couple of days ago, and Ermal wondered if he shouldn’t go and build a simple bench to put here. It was a nice view. He got a little bag with some of the cookies that he had grabbed before leaving the house out of his pocket. He handed them out, and they sat there, in a small sort of picnic.

When the cookies were gone, the children got restless, and started playing among the high grass. Ermal and Fabrizio stayed for a moment longer, until Libero and Anita dragged them into their game.

After the game had finished, though its finish was unrecognizable to either Ermal or Fabrizio besides Anita’s announcement, they walked back, slowly, completing the round. 

"Now you've seen everything!" Ermal said, as he finished the tour. "That's the whole island. If your papa is okay with it too, you can go and play where you want, you won't get lost." 

Both children looked at Fabrizio to find out his opinion, and smiled when he nodded, smiling too. 

"But," Ermal added, "you have to promise me one thing. You have to be really careful. On the beach and near the cliffs especially, but also on other parts of the island."

Libero and Anita caught his serious tone and nodded vigorously. 

"We promise."

"Good," Ermal said, and to soften his strict statement, he now brushed his hand over the children's heads. 

"Ermal, can we now go up the tower and see everything from above?" Anita asked excitedly. 

"If you want to. Let's go!" 

Ermal let Anita lead the way, and knew that Fabrizio and Libero were following. Anita climbed the stairs to the first floor quickly, pausing there to show Fabrizio Ermal's desk and the view from the window. 

Ermal realized that Fabrizio had never been up here, he hadn't seen more than the ground floor and the loft, and Ermal now stepped in to explain what it was he did here. Fabrizio listened intently, leaning on the desk as he looked at the waves below. 

"We can go even higher!" Anita now exclaimed, bored with waiting here, when she knew what was just a ladder away. 

"Let's go then. But be careful!" Ermal tried to curb that enthusiasm a little, and climbed up after her, keeping a careful eye on the little girl. He helped up Libero and then Fabrizio, who looked around him in awe. 

Ermal pointed at the different parts of the light and explained how it worked. He was glad Fabrizio was interested in it, asking questions and studying the mechanism, because Ermal knew that once he got in this mood of explaining all the details, it was hard to get out of it. He simply loved the light, as it was his work and the reason he was out here on the island at all. 

Their attention was recaptured by a little girl, who had not come up all those steps to listen to technical explanations, but to feel the wind in her hair and see the view. 

"Ermal, can you open the door?" she interrupted Ermal's explanation on the power of lighthouses and how far his own could reach across the waves on a clear night. 

Ermal shot an apologetic look at Fabrizio, and cut short his talking. It might be boring anyway. He unlocked the door, but before opening it offered Anita his hand to keep her from running off too eagerly.

“Libero, are you coming?” Ermal asked, keeping a hold on Anita’s hand. The boy shook his head, happy to stay inside.

“Fabrizio?” Ermal turned his head, looking at the man and only noticing now how he was staring at the open door, his face paler than before. He had a hand on one of the iron supports around the ladder, his knuckles turning white.

“Fabrizio?” Ermal repeated softly, getting his attention.

“No, no, I’ll also stay here.”

“If you two would rather go downstairs, that’s okay too,” Ermal smiled at Fabrizio and Libero, and then took Anita outside. They slowly made their way around the tower, Ermal pointing out all the places they had just seen from such a different perspective. Anita loved the view from so high up, staring and pointing and circling the light.

Ermal indulged her, letting her run around the balcony. It was nice to see her wonder and amazement at a scene he liked too, yes, but one he had grown so accustomed to.

“We should really go now,” he said, catching Anita as she passed him on another round around the light. “Or papa and Libero will think we blew away on the wind.”

He used the girl’s momentum to twirl her around in his arms, making her giggle, before setting her down again. He kept a hand lightly on her shoulder and opened the door, stepping back inside.

“Let me go first on the ladder, we don’t want you to fall.”

Once back down in the house, they found Fabrizio and Libero in the kitchen, cutting vegetables. Fabrizio looked up when Ermal sat down next to him. 

“I know it’s early, but I’d thought to just start dinner, it will have to bake a while.”

“That’s a good idea. I can make dessert then, there’s time for that,” Ermal answered, letting his mind go over some recipes.

They moved comfortably around the kitchen, the two of them, Libero and Anita quickly getting bored of cooking and running off to play some game together. 

“It was nice to see exactly where we ended up,” Fabrizio said, smiling as they stood side by side in front of the stove after Fabrizio put the dish in the oven, enjoying the warmth it emitted.

“I’m glad I could show it to you. It isn’t much, but it is my home.”

“It’s a nice place,” Fabrizio said. “But I can see how it would be lonely.”

Ermal shrugged. 

“Usually it’s okay. I can handle it.” He could. He had. He didn’t want to think about being alone on the island again, not right now. He wouldn’t be yet, there was time yet.

“It was very interesting to see the light from up close, and hear how it works,” Fabrizio continued, filling the silence that had fallen.

Ermal smiled. “That’s nice to hear. I’m happy to talk about it more, if you’d want,” he offered.

Another silence fell, but now more companionable than before.

“I hadn’t realized you felt uncomfortable up on the tower. You didn’t have to come up,” Ermal said softly after a while, now moving around to tidy up the kitchen a bit. He didn’t want to put Fabrizio on the spot or make him feel uneasy.

“It’s okay. It’s not… I hadn’t thought it would bother me like that. The cliffs don’t,” Fabrizio replied, a bit hesitantly. “The first floor was okay too - and then the light was so interesting. But when you opened the door to the walkway…”

“The height comes a bit closer, doesn’t it?” Ermal completed Fabrizio’s sentence when he trailed off.

“It suddenly was so high, just sky and water in the distance. It is just a building, a stack of stones, some iron… Maybe humans should not go that high by themselves, on a balcony hovering in nothing.”

Ermal smiled at that description of his sturdy and reliable little lighthouse. He didn’t see it remotely in the same way as Fabrizio, but they could agree to disagree on this.

“You and Libero, you have a lot in common, don’t you?” he said, the joking tone clear in his voice, and then let the topic be. It didn’t matter, and it was much more important that Fabrizio could handle the cliffs, as he had to live on them as long as he was on the island. The light was here, but there was no need for him to go there, not if he didn’t want to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I'd love to hear your thoughts!


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We're back for another (sleepless?) night, and a serious conversation. Because what was it that brought Ermal to the island in the first place?

The third night Ermal was back to thinking, overthinking, and not quite trusting himself to not doing the same as the night before, so postponing sleep seemed a good option. Eventually he would get used to this, sharing his bed, and Fabrizio was by no means a hard person to share a bed with. He barely snored, he didn’t have any wild, unexpected movements, and he didn’t try to claim the whole space. In contrast to Ermal last night, he started on his own side of the bed and stayed there.

Ermal lay awake next to him, staring at the ceiling, watching the window light up with the rotations of the beam of light above them. Finally, he realized it was no good. With these thoughts in his mind, he would not fall asleep, and the thoughts would not go if he stayed here. So he got up, quietly, and on bare feet padded to the kitchen, closing the bedroom door softly behind him. He sat down at the kitchen table, after lighting the lamp, and took up his knitting, just to have something to do. The needles moved slowly, and Ermal’s mind was really too tired for the pattern. He kept losing count and taking up the wrong colour as he went, having to go back and correct his mistakes. 

Meanwhile he wondered about Fabrizio. Was he used to sharing a bed? Was that what the storm and bandits had robbed him of? Had he lost his wife when he and the children made their way from their village? He had never said anything, but then, it was such a personal thing to share. Fabrizio had left a lot of things implicit in the extent of what he had left behind, of who he had left behind. He hadn’t spoken much about it at all, and now Ermal wondered.

Lost in thought, he missed yet another colour change in the pattern, and sighed as he had to tink back to the right stitch. It was a tedious job with all the changes in the previous row too, and Ermal cursed silently as he dropped some stitches. He wanted nothing more than to put it down and give up, and try to fix it tomorrow, but he knew from experience that dropped stitches had a tendency to unravel even if nothing so much as pointed at them, so he really should do it now, or risk losing all his progress.

He moved a little closer to the lamp, and tried to weave the little loops of fabric back together the way they had been, without messing up anything else. 

He had finally succeeded, more or less, at least there were no more escaped loops of yarn that were threatening to unravel the whole sock. He could attempt a better rescue mission when his head was more clear. When he had slept. 

Ermal glanced at the bedroom door. He should just go back to bed, he needed the sleep, and sitting here at the table longer would not make him feel rested in the morning, nor help him get used to the new sleeping arrangements. 

He first thought his tired eyes were playing tricks on him, when the door started moving - but it was only Fabrizio, pushing it open slowly, and pausing for a second to let his eyes adjust to the light in the room. Then he stepped forward, leaning his arms on the backrest of the chair opposite Ermal, and looked at him pensively for a minute. 

Ermal looked back, his tired mind now incapable of forming any words, any questions at Fabrizio's sudden appearance. 

"You can't sleep," Fabrizio said finally, softly, a statement, not a question.

Ermal opened his mouth to protest, to deny, to find explanations, but no words came out. It was true, in any case. He couldn't sleep. He closed his mouth again. Fabrizio pulled the chair back and sat down. 

"This is not working. We will find a different solution. You should take your bed." 

"No, wait, Fabrizio -" 

"You need your rest. I won't have you not sleeping because of me."

"I just need to get used to it, it's been such a long time I've had to share a bed. It'll get better." 

Fabrizio looked at him, gauging the truth of his words. 

"I can sleep with the children, you can take the bedroom."

"You actually can't," Ermal said with a smile. "We've been over this, there aren't many options, and not enough blankets, you can't sleep on the loft. I think we found out the best solution. I'll get used to it. I'll be fine." 

The words hung between them, as Fabrizio kept looking at him, but it couldn't fluster Ermal. His words were true and he would stand by them. 

"Are you certain?" 

Ermal nodded. "I am. Really. I just need a bit more time."

"Can I do anything to make it easier for you?"

Fabrizio leaned his elbows on the table and his chin on his hands. He looked intently at Ermal now, and  _ this _ was making him flustered. He was going to blame it on his tiredness, the way he was hypnotised by Fabrizio's eyes gleaming in the light of the lamp. 

It took a few seconds and a shake of his head to tear his eyes away. 

"No, no. I mean, I'll be fine. But thank you."

"Okay."

"Really. I just wanted to go to sleep again." 

Ermal got up, putting his knitting away to look at later. At the bedroom door he paused, looking at Fabrizio. 

"And you?" 

"I just wanted to get something to drink. You go, and get your sleep." 

For a second, the thought crossed Ermal's mind that there was something off about Fabrizio's smile, but it quickly left. He was just tired. He had also assumed the door was moving of its own accord. He couldn't trust his eyes right now. So he just nodded, and moved inside, leaving the door open on a crack so Fabrizio could quietly join him later. 

His tiredness clearly was enough to make him sleep, to make him finally sleep, and Ermal didn’t even notice Fabrizio come back to the bedroom, though he had, for in the morning Ermal found his sleeping form next to him, wrapped up in his blanket, curled up on his side, facing away from Ermal.

Despite the short night, it was early still, Ermal awoke as the sun started to rise above the waves. It was a habit honed by the two years on the island. This morning, though, he took a minute to just lie there, staring at the ceiling, listening to Fabrizio’s breathing.

See, it wasn’t so hard, to just sleep and share a bed. It had been fine this night, and it would be fine in nights to come. He could get used to this. Easily. But now he had to get up, because where sleeping was one thing, waking up together was not something he quite wanted to face right now. He was going to take this one step at a time.

Another handful of breaths, just to savour the warmth that the blankets held for him, but then he pushed them away, and shrugged on more clothes to keep off the morning’s chill. He had a light to turn off, and day to start.

Before going up to the lighthouse, Ermal lit a fire in the stove, so the room would be less icy as he came back down, and a more welcoming place for Fabrizio and the children when they woke up. 

He took a bit more time to bask in the warmth of the slowly growing fire himself, before turning to climb the stairs, the stairs that would now be so cold by comparison. Maybe he should have left the stove for later.

He was lost in thought, but quickly shaken out of it, when he saw the little girl standing in front of him, yawning, and looking up at him.

"Hey, Anita, why are you awake? Did you have a bad dream?"

"No, I just woke up. The sun was also already up!"

Ermal chuckled. "But it's okay to sleep a bit longer than the sun, then it has time to do its job and warm up the earth. It’s cold, still."

"You are also up," Anita replied, as if that was the obvious reason she was too. It probably was, in her eyes.

"Yes, but I have to turn off the light, now that the sun is here to take over." And he had to get used to sharing his bed, but that wasn’t something the little girl needed to know the particularities of.

"Can I watch?"

Ermal nodded, and let Anita climb up the stairs in front of him, and up the ladder too.

He showed her his routine, explaining as he went along. He clicked open the parts carefully, they were hot after the light had burned all night, and then extinguished the fire. 

“See, the soot from the fire really smudges the glass of the mirrors, that’s why they need to be cleaned a lot. Only then the light stays bright enough,” he showed to Anita, who looked at the mechanism with interest. 

“But first we have to let it cool a bit,” Ermal continued. “I also have to update the big book, usually I do that first.”

They went down the ladder, and Anita sat on Ermal’s lap as he showed her what he wrote down, reading it out as he wrote the letters. He checked the weather, writing that down too, and let Anita carefully check the instruments too, explaining to her what each one told him, and what it meant for the weather of the day.

Ermal had left the door to the house open on a crack, and up the stairs came the sounds of an awaking house. Fabrizio’s voice was audible, and the clang of plates and pans. Ermal let Anita clatter down the stairs back to the warm room, to greet her father and brother. He himself went up to the light quickly, to give it a last check. The cleaning could wait, but he filled up the oil, just so he didn’t have to do that later in the day.

Then he joined the family for breakfast, that family that he felt a part of, at least for the time that they were with him. And it was a routine they had made. Breakfast, then taking care of the animals. Libero helped him with the chickens, Ermal letting him do a little bit more each day, until soon he was sure the boy could do it on his own. Fabrizio and Anita joined him in taking care of Fjolla, though there it really was more a case of letting the sheep know that Ermal hadn’t forgotten about her. 

That was followed by the reading lesson, going over exercises and repeating letters over and over, but progress was clearly being made. Some chores and housework before a shared lunch, and then the afternoon was filled with more of the same, but games too, until Fabrizio announced that dinner was ready. Then in the evening, Ermal might finish up something while there was still light, and when dusk fell he would light the lighthouse’s lamp, before they were all in the living room, talking or reading or playing games, alone, in pairs, or all together. It would stay like that until Libero and Anita went to bed, and then Ermal and Fabrizio shared the space, comfortable, talking softly, getting to know each other, or both caught up in some task they’d taken up that could be done by the flickering lamp light.

Today’s evening was a surprisingly mild one and Ermal took advantage of it when the children had gone to bed. He took out his pipe and stuffed it. Then he nodded at Fabrizio.

“Would you like to share?” 

Fabrizio smiled and followed him outside. They sat together in companionable silence, while occasionally exchanging the pipe. There was a calm to it, making time not matter at all. Eventually, the silence was broken by Fabrizio.

“I wondered…” he said quietly, as he handed back the pipe to Ermal, but didn’t continue.

“You wondered?” Ermal repeated, curious as to what would follow, what Fabrizio was wondering about.

“I wondered how you came to live here, at the lighthouse.”

Ermal nodded once, slowly. gathering his thoughts, figuring out where to start this story. He didn’t mind telling it. Fabrizio had shared his own story, and he had all rights to know more about Ermal in return, know who this man was he had agreed to stay with. 

“You don’t have to tell me, I just was curious,” Fabrizio quickly said, misinterpreting Ermal’s silence.

“No, no, I don’t mind. It’s not something I want to hide, I was just thinking of how to start.”

“I just wondered, and after what you said last night - I mean, I just wondered, this isn’t the place you grew up, is it?”

Ermal shook his head, and made up his mind, making a brave decision, and finding a place to start his story.

“I was married once,” he spoke, eyes focused on the dark sky in front of him. He could feel Fabrizio’s attention shifting, settling solely on him, heavy and light at the same time. “It was in the town I moved to with my mother and my siblings and my grandmother, when we came here. She and I, we were together for years. I thought we were happy. But I was mistaken, she wasn’t happy anymore, and one evening she sat me down and asked me if we could get a divorce.”

Ermal paused and swallowed away the memories rising up in his throat, threatening to block it, even after all this time. He could still remember Silvia’s face as she asked him - she knew how uncommon it was, she knew the way people would no doubt talk about them, wondering what had caused it, finding reason upon reason, but never the true one. She felt they’d grown apart, she felt they would be better off living their lives separately. And she felt that strongly enough to weigh up against the rumours and the talking.

Fabrizio waited patiently for Ermal to continue, he didn’t interrupt, he didn’t interject, didn’t offer any platitudes, he just was there, waiting, giving Ermal time, giving him space to continue, or stop here, if that was what he wanted.

It wasn’t. Ermal took deep breath, composing himself, and then went on.

“So I agreed, of course I did. I wouldn’t do that, trap her in a relationship she did not want to be in anymore. Afterwards, she moved away to family in the north. I stayed where we had lived together, which was hard enough with all the memories everywhere, but there was more than that. Of course the people talked, as we’d known they would. I heard the whispers and the rumours everywhere I went.”

He had to take another breath, the memories of the words that had been used to describe him, the way people had turned against him, how they had even turned on where he’d come from, were weighing on him now, recalling them.

“The people blamed me for it, because she had been the one to ask for the divorce. They blamed me, and accused me of the most horrible things. But I would never do that,  _ never _ .” Ermal felt his eyes burn with the sting of tears, and blinked them furiously away. “She wasn’t happy anymore, with me, but I didn’t  _ make _ her unhappy, not on purpose, I wouldn’t - ”

Ermal stopped, swallowed, shook his head ever so slightly, trying to shake the emotions to the side. He just wanted to tell this story, get it out, have it over with.

Now, Fabrizio slowly moved, putting a hand on Ermal’s shoulder, extending his support to that. He still wasn’t saying anything, being only a silent but somehow comfortable presence next to Ermal on the bench in the half darkness surrounding them.

“But they didn’t say it to my face, there was no way to defend myself. I didn’t want to stay, then, I had to get out. I couldn’t stay, not like that. And by then, my family didn’t need me anymore, not like they had before. Both my siblings were of age, my sister courting, and my mother and grandmother had found a place for themselves, a place in the town, with friends and connections. So I left. I traveled around, along the coast, I’ve always loved the sea. I quickly found the town here, where they were looking for someone crazy enough to take up the position of lighthouse keeper all the way out here. They were getting desperate, rotating through the men of the town each month, and when I applied, they quickly accepted, despite knowing so little of me. I thought the island would give me a chance to be away from people, from their expectations and assumptions, find a place where nothing would make any demands of me. It didn’t quite work like that, but in the business I found some purpose, and I stayed.”

Fabrizio nodded, mostly as a sign that he had been listening, and his lips stretched into a quick smile when he noticed Ermal’s gaze on him, though there was no humour in it. His hand was still on Ermal’s shoulder, now a familiar weight and warmth. It seemed his thoughts were on what Ermal had told him, mulling it over, reaching conclusions, implications and questions. He was quiet for a moment longer, though, no doubt weighing whether he should ask those questions.

Ermal sat in silence next to him, waiting, a subtle feeling of anticipation settling on him, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. He wondered what Fabrizio was thinking now, what his questions would be, but he also knew that no matter what it would be, it would be okay not to answer if he didn’t want to, and Fabrizio wouldn’t think any less of him.

Finally, Fabrizio opened his mouth, taking another breath before he spoke.

“Did the two of you have children?” he asked quietly, not looking at Ermal, as if he didn’t really want to hear the answer, as if he expected his question to lead to more tears.

“We didn’t, no,” Ermal answered, taken a bit by surprise but not unwilling to answer it. “Maybe that would have changed everything.”

“You’re very good with children. I thought -” Fabrizio started, but he stopped, and quickly changed his sentence, “I haven’t seen Libero open up to a stranger quite so quickly before as he did with you.”

Ermal looked at him, still wondering with half his mind what Fabrizio had thought, but then answered, “I’m glad he trusts me enough for that.”

Fabrizio met his eyes, and Ermal got the feeling that the other man could read something in his expression, something he wasn’t saying, hadn’t been saying, not quite, not tonight. He got the feeling that Fabrizio had the ability to see right through him, see all the things he wasn’t saying. He got the feeling he could really  _ trust _ Fabrizio, and that was a surprise in itself. It was so soon, for him to trust like this. It was so soon.

Their eye contact held, and was intense like that, until Fabrizio nodded, and looked away, his eyes now on the sky above them as it was illuminated by the beam of light.

Again, they sat in companionable silence, like they had before, but now they felt closer to each other than before. Somehow, Ermal felt it was easy to confide in Fabrizio. He listened, attentively, closely, without any judgement or interruptions, just taking what he was offered without prying for more. 

Ermal liked sitting here with him, in the late evening, even though the pipe had long ago gone out and the wind was getting chilly.

“Maybe we should go inside,” he suggested, reluctantly, and not moving a muscle to follow his own words.

“We probably should,” Fabrizio agreed, though it took a long time and a persistent cold wind blowing through the spaces between the outbuildings to finally drive them inside and get them ready for bed. 

Maybe it was the talk they’d had, the way Ermal had opened up and the way Fabrizio had reacted to it, or maybe he just finally gotten used to sharing his bed, but Ermal’s thoughts quietened easily, and when they had exchanged their goodnights, he fell into a calm and peaceful sleep, only to awaken in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you if you're still reading this and I'd love to hear whether you liked it!


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ermal has found a way to sleep through the night, but can that be said for everyone? Maybe things are not going quite as well as we thought.

It was only then, when Ermal was more rested, and less tense, and much less focused on himself, that he noticed something. Fabrizio’s behaviour and the strong grip he seemed to have on his emotions had puzzled him, but now the nights showed Ermal that maybe Fabrizio wasn’t doing quite as well as he had hoped.

Maybe his tiredness during the days wasn’t only caused by him recovering from his illness. Maybe he hadn’t slept much the past nights either, easing himself into the new situation with Ermal next to him. Maybe there was a different reason for the calm ‘sleeping’ he had done than Ermal had first thought. Maybe he had been avoiding sleep too, for very understandable reasons.

Because it was in these nights, where he could finally pay attention to the things around him, rather than his own endless spiral of worries, and where both of them had gotten used to sharing the bed, that Ermal woke up in the middle of the night to sounds and movement next to him. For a second, he lay there, his heart pounding, trying to make sense of what it was that had awoken him. 

The gentle combined light of the tower and the moon streamed in through the window, casting enough light to see the contours of the room around him. It illuminated the man next to him, twisted and caught in his blanket, trying to escape it, and failing. His eyes were closed, his forehead creased, and he was mumbling sounds that Ermal couldn’t decipher, but that sounded distressed, desperate.

He was dreaming, Having a nightmare.

Ermal had to wake him up.

“Fabrizio?” Ermal spoke. It wasn’t loud, though it felt like it in the dark room. It wasn’t loud enough, as all Fabrizio did was toss and turn some more, but he didn’t wake up.

“Fabrizio,” Ermal tried again, a bit louder, and again, until finally Fabrizio blinked his eyes open, the expression on his face harrowed and confused, just visible in the dim light.

“You’re safe. Libero and Anita are safe,” Ermal said softly, filling the silence, and offering Fabrizio a thread to find his way out of the dream back into reality. He wasn’t sure what else to say, he had so little to offer against what he could imagine the nightmare had been about. At least Fabrizio and his children were safe, and Ermal repeated it uselessly, because he knew it was only a small blessing in what they had lost.

It seemed Fabrizio came back to himself a little bit, sitting up against the bed’s headboard, his eyes taking in the room, gliding rapidly over the outlines of the furniture.

“I’ll get you some water,” Ermal offered, and got out of bed. He took his time, giving Fabrizio a chance to compose himself a little, to let him not feel quite as vulnerable as he no doubt did. 

Ermal drank a bit himself, and then brought a cup of water to the bedroom. He opened the door again to an unexpected sight. Fabrizio was there, standing next to the bed, changing into his clothes.

“What are you doing?” Ermal asked, confused, a bit startled.

“A walk. I need some air.”

It was impossible to decipher the emotions in Fabrizio’s voice. It took Ermal a second to decipher the meaning of the words too, but he was shaken from his thoughts as Fabrizio moved past him.

“Wait!” Ermal hastened to say, spinning on his heel to again face Fabrizio. “At least take my coat against the wind. And please, take a lamp. The island’s terrain can be treacherous.” 

He moved quickly to light a lamp and hand it to Fabrizio, who had shrugged on Ermal’s coat, at least not foolish enough to risk another illness. Then he stepped outside, leaving Ermal to watch the door swing slowly shut and the small sun of light move and then grow smaller through the window.

Ermal went back to bed, after double checking that the door wasn’t locked out of habit, and easy to open from the outside. Now it was his turn to toss and tangle in the blankets, worried about Fabrizio. He had done what he could for him, he could do so infuriatingly little for him, when it came to this. He could offer him a sympathetic ear when Fabrizio wanted it, but coming to terms with what had happened was something Fabrizio had to do himself.

Ermal lay in bed, but only dozed, never falling back asleep again, at least not until he heard the doors creak open and footsteps on the floorboards, not until the mattress dipped and he knew Fabrizio was back inside again. He brought the smell of the dark cold night with him into the room, and Ermal hoped Fabrizio had found something out there to give him a little peace of mind.

It wasn’t long now till daybreak, and hour or two at most, and when Ermal awoke again by the growing light, Fabrizio was still fast asleep, calmly now. Ermal let him be, getting up quietly, knowing that Fabrizio needed his rest more than he had previously thought, but also vowing to find a suitable time to talk to him. this wasn’t something he could keep trying to deal with on his own. It was too big for that, and talking would help.

There was more to think about, however, than the state of Fabrizio’s emotional well-being, although that never really left Ermal’s mind. The endless list of tasks and chores was there, as always, and now that his guests were all as comfortable as they could be for now, but at least all had a good place to sleep, Ermal could turn his attention to the lighthouse.

A thorough cleaning of all the parts of the light was definitely needed, repair or replacement of some perhaps. It was high time for a proper check if everything was still working as it should. The last thing he wanted was the light breaking down and not enough time to fix it before dark - or worse, the light breaking down in the middle of the night.

There was also some paperwork to do, as always at the end of a season. He had to make summaries and do some statistics, compare this winter to other years. 

All in all, it was enough to keep Ermal busy for a good part of the day, but now he had taken a break, and he joined Fabrizio where he sat on the bench in front of the house, his face tilted towards the sun.

“I’m sorry to leave you to fend for yourself all day. Are our brave travelers in faraway lands again?” Ermal said, offering Fabrizio a glass of water.

Libero and Anita were eager to explore the island by themselves, playing that they were explorers discovering new and magical lands. They told the stories during dinner, colourfully describing the people they’d met - princes and witches, fairies and knights. They talked about the strange and wonderful creatures they had seen, flying fish and dragons, and ladybugs the size of a cat.

Ermal and Fabrizio listened to the adventures, as Anita talked on and on, occasionally aided in her descriptions by Libero. They were amazed by the imagination of the children, and glad that they were able to amuse themselves on the islands, with so few people to keep them occupied.

“They are on the beach. I warned them to stay away from the water’s edge. And it’s okay. I wanted to do some laundry - as soon as I get up,” Fabrizio answered Ermal’s question, though he made no move to do so.

Ermal wondered if this was a moment he should take and change from calm and peaceful to something serious, and calling up bad memories. He didn’t really want to, but maybe he should, especially because it was calm and peaceful. Maybe, if everything went well, the atmosphere between them now would continue to work on the talk he would start.

“Fabrizio?” he started, carefully, but firmly, this had to be done. “About last night…” 

The other man looked at Ermal, his look ever so slightly guarded, but he didn’t say anything, nor did anything to stop Ermal from continuing. So he did.

“I think you should talk about what happened, talk about how you feel. It can’t go on like this. You cannot do this on your own. You don’t  _ have _ to do this on your own.” His words hung between them, an offer to take, or leave, floating in the sunny spring air.

After long, long, slow seconds, Fabrizio took it.

“Last night…” he repeated slowly, his voice low and dark. “Last night, I was angry. So angry. That’s why I went out, it had nowhere to go, and it had to go somewhere.”

Ermal looked at him. Fabrizio didn’t look angry now. If anything, he looked tired, as if an uncarriable weight lay on his shoulders.

“Why were you angry?” he asked softly.

Fabrizio sighed deeply before he answered. “I was angry with fate, with God, with some higher power that made this happen. so much suffering… But mostly, I was angry with myself. for not helping more. for fleeing. For getting away when others could not. Who am I? Why should I be spared? I am not special, there is nothing that I have to offer the world that any other man in that village could not too. I am not special.” 

He fell silent for a minute.

“That’s what I dreamt, you know, last night. And before. I was back in the village, everything was in ruins and broken, puddles of water everywhere, and loose pieces of wood and rubbish… Some parts of buildings, or of the rubble, were still smouldering from the fire. And the people were there, all the people I abandoned, even though they had died. They asked me, they accused me - why did I not share their fate? Why was I alive when they were not? -”

Fabrizio’s words had sped up throughout his speech, and few as they were, really, they painted a clear picture in Ermal’s mind, at least, until a crack in Fabrizio’s voice and the abrupt silence pulled him back to the present, his heart contracting in an echo of the pain that was in Fabrizio’s, the emotion carried by his voice.

“Oh, Fabrizio,” was all he could say for a moment, turning to face him, and pulling him close by impulse. Like that first hug, when Fabrizio had first told him what had happened to him, it wasn’t shrugged off. Instead, Fabrizio leaned into Ermal’s embrace, hiding his face in his chest.

Ermal was quiet, just holding Fabrizio, being a support for him. But while he didn’t speak, his mind was busy trying to come up with what he could say, when Fabrizio had calmed down a little, and would be able to listen to what Ermal had to tell him. It was hard, though, because what did you tell someone who had lost so much? What could you tell someone who had to give up home and hearth, family and friends? Words didn’t help right now, and yet, Ermal had to try.

“Fabrizio. You did nothing wrong. You did not mindlessly flee. You saved your children. You saved your children and that makes all the difference. You did all you could. You could not have taken anyone else, you barely made it all alive as it was. Anything else you could have done would have ended in a greater tragedy.”

“But all the others…”

“You could not have saved them, Fabrizio, not even if you’d stayed. You did the best you could do. You saved Libero and Anita-”

“I could have put someone else in my place. Two more children, maybe. I could have…”

“- and more importantly, you saved yourself too, so that Libero and Anita still have you. You are the most important thing to them in the whole world. They  _ need _ you,” Ermal went on, not giving Fabrizio a chance to finish his desperate list of things he really, given the circumstances, could not have done. He just had to see he had done the best thing in a horrible situation.

“Fabrizio, they  _ need _ you,” Ermal continued softly. “Yes, you could have put two more children in that boat in your place. But do you really think they would even have made it to the island? Four children then, scared and lonely, hungry and cold, weak and confused, do you think that would have worked? I don’t. They needed an adult there. And that adult was you. Someone strong enough to keep the children safe and calm, someone to tell them everything would be alright, even though he knew the chances were so, so slim. Fabrizio, what you did was so difficult and you were so brave. Yoru being safe does not mean you did something wrong. You could not have protected everyone. You did what you could. It is okay to be alive. It is okay to grieve what you lost. But it is  _ not _ your fault.”

Ermal still had his arm around Fabrizio’s shoulders - a point of contact to offer support and comfort, the little bits of it he had to offer. Fabrizio looked at him, the look in his eyes again reminding Ermal of a lost boy, like the first time they had talked about this. It was so easy during the days to forget that behind that cheerful and brave front that Fabrizio presented was this insecure and desperate person who really did not have an idea what to do next.

So Fabrizio looked at Ermal, and at least he had stopped his objections. Instead, he slowly leaned his head on Ermal’s shoulder, his face hidden. Without making it a conscious decision, Ermal’s hand followed, brushing through Fabrizio’s hair and keeping him close, keeping him safe. They sat like that together, the minutes stretching into more. Eventually, Fabrizio seemed calmer, and Ermal hoped he felt better.

“And you know what this brave, strong man from the boat should do?” Ermal whispered in the general direction of Fabrizio’s ear. Upon hearing it, Fabrizio pressed his face first a bit deeper into Ermal’s shoulder, before he looked up, the slightest hint of a blush on his cheeks. It shouldn’t look cute - Ermal knew the words he had said were true, and normally strong and brave did not go together with cute, but on Fabrizio they did.

“No?”

“He should take care of himself now, like he takes care of the children on the boat. He should give himself time and space, and he should be kind to himself. Because he deserves it.”

Ermal looked at Fabrizio, his hand still in his hair, though it didn’t seem he minded, until Fabrizio nodded a bit shakily.

“You should, Fabrizio”, Ermal said, hoping it was something Fabrizio could come to believe.

Whether he believed now or not, Fabrizio nodded again, a little firmer this time. Ermal let the topic drop, but not his hand, and kept caressing Fabrizio's hair as long as he was allowed to. The moment lasted longer than he had expected, but eventually, slowly, Fabrizio moved away from Ermal’s touch.

“The laundry. I’d better get to it,” he said softly, not meeting Ermal’s eyes. He got up, and Ermal watched him go. After a sigh, he also got up, to go back to the demands of his lighthouse.

They reconvened later in the evening, Ermal coming down the stairs to find Fabrizio in the kitchen, busy with dinner preparations. He had feared it might be awkward between them, now, after the closeness they shared earlier. He had feared Fabrizio might feel some discomfort at having shared his fears, his doubts with Ermal, of having been so open. He had feared it might be like that, but it wasn’t. When Fabrizio heard him approach, he looked up, and smiled. It was maybe a little smaller after all the emotions of the afternoon, but no less sincere than any other smile.

“Can I help?” Ermal asked, washing his hands, and then receiving some vegetables to dice. Together, they cooked the meal, and called the children away from their games to share it.

After dinner, when all the plates had been washed and dried and put away, Ermal sat in his rocking chair, enjoying the calm evening, content with all the things he got done today. Fabrizio was finishing up a game with his children, gathering the playing cards together again.

“Libero, why don’t you tend to the chickens? Anita and I can take care of the sheep tonight. Then Ermal can stay here,” Fabrizio said, the last bit directed at Ermal with an indulgent smile. Ermal just smiled, and rocked in his chair.

“Papa? Why do you always say ‘the sheep’? She has a name. And the chickens too!” Anita said, leaning on the side of Ermal’s chair, while looking at Fabrizio.

“Anita, dear, most people don’t name their animals. It’s like farmer Greco, with his cows. His cows didn’t have names either.”

“But they do have names, don’t they, Ermal?” Anita said.

“Yes, they do,” he told the little girl, running a hand over her head before she skipped off to settle on the bench next to her brother.

“Most people aren’t stuck on an island all alone with no company,” Ermal said softly to Fabrizio, a blush starting on his face. Fabrizio caught his eye, and nodded, the expression on his face one that showed he understood Ermal’s meaning.

“All the chickens are named after his family!” Anita supplied, “And the sheep is called Fjolla. That’s a pretty name, isn’t it?”

“It means ‘snowflake’ in my language. When I first saw her, her wool was very long, and little bits of it were getting loose and floating everywhere, like snow.”

“Yes, I’ve seen it!”

“Yes,” Ermal smiled, “Like then, she needs to be shorn very soon. She’ll soon be too warm in her woolen coat for the nice weather that we’ve been having!”

Once more, Fabrizio caught his eyes, a question in his, a memory of a conversation they had had passing between them. They had made a vague plan to shear Fjolla together, and it really was time. The sun was more powerful every day, and Ermal didn’t want Fjolla to overheat in her thick coat, not to speak of the chance of her getting some infection or disease through flies laying eggs in the wool.

“Would tomorrow work?” Fabrizio asked, turning his attention back to the conversation at hand, and Ermal nodded.

“Yes, let’s give it a shot to shear her tomorrow. Fabrizio, then please put her in the stable for the night, I will help you. Libero, do you need help with the chickens?”

Libero shook his head. “I can do it.”

“Great! Let me know if you would like me to help anyway, okay? Then let’s find a rogue sheep and put her to order soon!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I'd love to hear your thoughts!


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're shearing a sheep today.  
> That's it. That's the chapter.

This morning, it wasn’t just Anita who had awoken early. When Ermal rummaged through the kitchen, starting a fire in the stove to get the room to comfortable temperatures, and seeing what he might need to get from the stores for breakfast, both Anita and Libero appeared in front of him.

“Good morning!” he told them. “I’ll go up to turn off the light and do all the weather checks. Do you want to come with me, before we have breakfast?”

Both children nodded, so Ermal told them to put on an extra sweater, the lighthouse was chilly, and then let them climb up the stairs in front of him. Once they made it to the office, he paused Anita, who was ready to race up the ladder too. Ermal put a hand on Libero’s shoulder. “Do you want to stay here? We’ll be down in a second, we just have to turn off the light.” 

Libero nodded, and clambered onto Ermal’s desk chair. He looked in awe at the big book that he found in front of him, his attention caught as he tried to make out the words. Ermal smiled at him, and then followed Anita up the stairs, who was eager to go up.

“Can I go outside, Ermal?” she asked, already in front of the door to the walkway, while Ermal was only then setting his feet on the floor, climbing up from the ladder.

“Not today, okay?” 

Libero was waiting downstairs, they couldn’t be too long, not this time. And he had already found out that once Anita was up there amidst the sky and the birds, it was hard to get her down again. 

“But you can help me. Do you want to turn off the light?”

Any disappointment at not being able to go out and watch from the top of the tower was dispelled with Ermal’s words. 

“Oh, yes!”

After clicking open the ring of mirrors, Ermal lifted the little girl up in his arms.

“Can you turn that knob, yes, that one, towards you? It is a little heavy, but I’m sure you can do it!”

They watched as the burning wick went down, the flame growing smaller until it disappeared.

“So, and now all I have to do is blow here,” Ermal said, moving closer to the chimney of the lamp, cupping his hand around it, “and then the light’s all off!”

He set Anita down again, and reached out for the flask of oil he kept here to fill up the lamp’s reservoir. It was starting to run low, so he should remember to get some new supplies up to the tower later. though it should be enough for another night, he judged. Then he screwed open the cap and the lid of the reservoir, and added the oil that was left to make sure there would be enough to keep the light lit all coming night. He also glanced at the wick, but it could wait being trimmed for a while longer. The flame had also looked steady and clear, and there hadn’t been any smoke or smells. The light was in good order.

“Let’s go down to Libero again,” Ermal suggested, going first on the ladder to be able to catch Anita, in the unlikely case she slipped. It was better to err on the side of caution, but she was getting a lot of practice with ladders with the one to the loft too, and she usually was careful climbing up or down.

Libero seemed at ease, one floor up from the ground, sitting at the desk. He looked smaller than he was, with the big furniture around him, but somehow he looked at home too, fitting in between the books and stacks of paper.

Ermal leaned on the chair’s armrest, pulling the book towards them. “Shall I explain what it is I write down here?”

Libero nodded interestedly, while Anita dawdled around, not paying much attention to what Ermal was saying. He pointed out the different columns to Libero, letting the boy spell out the words, and figure out their meanings. 

“I think papa is awake!” Anita announced in the relative quiet of the room, before rushing down the stairs to greet her father. For a second, Ermal paused, wondering if Libero also wanted to go downstairs, but he stayed focused on the book in front of him, pointing to the next column, asking what that was for. Ermal continued then, taking the time to explain what was used to write down what, and why.

“Do you want to help me fill it out?” he suggested. Libero nodded, looking up to Ermal to see where they would start.

“Here you can read the air pressure, do you know the numbers?” 

Libero did, and Ermal pointed out where he could write them into the book. They also noted down the temperature, the speed and direction of the wind, whether they saw any ships on the water, and any other particularities.

When they were done, Ermal and Libero went down, where they found a breakfast almost ready for them. 

“Just the eggs are missing,” Fabrizio told them after flashing Ermal a smile and telling him good morning, and hugging his son.

“I’ll go and quickly get them,” Ermal offered, and put on his shoes. He returned swiftly with the eggs, after quickly feeding the chickens,  and handed them to Fabrizio one by one, who was standing at the stove with the pan already heating up.

After breakfast there was time for reading lessons, of course, though today’s was maybe a little shorter than usual after Libero’s practice up in the tower. Still, Ermal wasn’t too rushed to shear Fjolla that he didn’t read a chapter to the children.

Not long after that, Ermal and Fabrizio's gazes met, and they nodded. It was time for a task both of them dreaded a little, one because he had no idea what was going to happen at all, and the other because he did, and previous attempts had not been quite so successful as he'd hoped. There was nothing to be done about it though, they had to face it. They got up, and found a slightly annoyed sheep in a stable.

“So… How does this work?” Fabrizio sounded a bit sceptical as he looked at Fjolla, who stood facing away from them in her stable, in a grumpy mood after a night spent inside. “Have you done this before?”

Ermal sighed once before he answered. “When I first got here, they brought someone over from town to show me. He explained it too, but he made it look so easy, and when I tried it last year… It turned out it wasn’t. At all.”

“Before we start, can you tell me the plan? Or what not to do?” Fabrizio asked, leaning against the back wall of the shed, not in the slightest inclined to start yet. 

“So first a few things are important so that she doesn’t fall ill or get sick or something. She’s not supposed to have any food twelve hours before shearing. That’s why she’s been inside overnight, but of course it hasn’t improved her mood,” Ermal said, letting the sheep shears tumble through his hands so he had something to do with them. Fjolla huffed at his words, as if she had understood them.

“What else?” Fabrizio asked, “I don’t want to do something wrong.”

“Well, most importantly, we should make sure not to turn her on her back, her intestines might get twisted, hurting her and making her sick - or worse. And of course we should be careful with the shears, but I can do the shearing if you help me hold her.”

Fabrizio nodded. “Do you want to do it in here?”

Ermal looked at the space, of which there wasn’t very much at all.

“I don’t know. I think outside might be better, but I’m afraid if she gets away… She’s stubborn enough to not cooperate again all summer.”

“It’s two against one, I’m sure we can manage!” Fabrizio replied with a smile, pushing up from the wall, and they moved outside, manoeuvring Fjolla to a flat bit of grass, keeping a steady hold on her.

“How do we start?” Fabrizio gently prompted, as they stood there, keeping the sheep in place, but as Ermal made no move to start.

“Yes, well. We kind of lift her and set her down so that she’s basically sitting on her butt, leaning against my legs with her back and then I can start shearing at the throat.”

“Okay, then let’s?” Fabrizio asked, as Ermal made no move to actually do that.

“Yes, yes. Let’s.” Ermal took a last deep breath and then handed the shears to Fabrizio, so he wouldn’t hurt Fjolla, Fabrizio, or himself, swinging it around, while manhandling a sheep. Then he lifted Fjolla’s front legs, moving her around so that she appeared in the position he had mentioned before. Fabrizio handed him the shears back with an encouraging nod.

“Here. I’m sure we can manage.”

He moved to keep Fjolla in place, so that Ermal had both hands free to wield the shears and keep the skin taut so he wouldn’t hurt Fjolla. Carefully, he cut between the old layer of wool and the new one that had started to grow underneath it.

It was easier like this, with a pair of helping hands, Ermal found. He could concentrate on cutting through the wool, smoothing Fjolla’s skin, and keeping the already shorn wool out of the way, now that he didn’t have to worry about keeping Fjolla in the right position. He was less scared of hurting her or accidentally letting her fall onto her back, now she wasn’t shifting and moving so much, but held steady by Fabrizio. Fjolla was remarkably calm, and underwent the process without complaining, as if she knew it was for her own good.

Ermal met Fabrizio’s eyes and nodded, his confidence now increased. Yes, they could do this. Fabrizio smiled back in response, and Ermal answered his smile vaguely before letting his eyes settle again on Fjolla, and the wool he was supposed to cut.

He slowly made his way down towards Fjolla’s belly, but it felt he was making more progress than he actually was, he found out when he took stock of how much he’d already done. The next obstacle would be cutting around Fjolla’s front legs, and extracting them from the tangly woolen coat without getting irreversibly lost. Ermal cut through the wool as far as he could, but then had to move the leg out of the way to continue. This was where he wished he had one more hand to spare - and wondered how on earth he had managed last year on his own. 

The way he held the leg now, it stuck up a bit awkwardly as he tried to shear the wool around it without letting the shears catch in Fjolla’s skin. It seemed that this was the point where she finally let them know she didn’t quite agree with this. Being shorn was one thing, but this was unseemly behaviour she did not approve of. 

“Beh,” she said, in as indignant a tone as a sheep could manage. She didn’t struggle, she didn’t try to wrestle free, she didn’t keep complaining, that one  _ beh _ was all she said. Fabrizio huffed a laugh at the tone of it. It seemed he only now remembered Fjolla had the means of protesting and making this job a whole lot harder on them, but that she just had chosen not to use them.

“I’m sorry, Fjolla. It’s a necessary evil, I’m afraid,” Ermal tried to placate, but it didn’t help, as he now reached Fjolla’s other leg, making that stick out into the air.

“Beh.”

Fabrizio caught Ermal’s eye with a smile. “I don’t think she agrees.”

“Too bad, it’ll have to be done. And we can’t let her walk around like  _ this _ !” Ermal gestured at the now very partially shorn sheep. “We’ll have to see it through, whether she likes it or not.”

He continued cutting the wool across Fjolla’s belly. Here his task was made difficult by all the knots and tangles. A lot of her time, Fjolla spent lying down, and she did so on her belly. The wool was full of sand and mud, of sticks and leaves. Ermal tried to get them out as much as possible, but it was slow going. He was sure he wouldn’t finish shearing Fjolla in the quick fifteen minutes that the shepherd had done it. They would be lucky if he got one third done in that time.

He continued down Fjolla’s side, turning her a bit, cutting down as far as she would let him for now. It would make it easier later. 

“Now can you turn her so she’s facing me?” Ermal then asked Fabrizio. When Fjolla was in the position he needed her to, he continued cutting down her neck. He now first wanted to get her shoulders out. He went from right to left in horizontal lines down. Finally they could see the progress and the growing loose woolen coat that now flapped about as Ermal moved it to still get close to the skin.

“Beh.”

Still, Fjolla sounded so exasperated with her fate. She didn’t really try to break free from Fabrizio’s grip, holding her head in place, but there was enough almost human emotion in the sounds she was making to tell Ermal and Fabrizio exactly what her opinion was on it all.

“Beh.”

Fabrizio chuckled. “She sounds so funny like this!”

Ermal had managed to shear the wool to just past Fjolla’s front legs, this time on her back. He breathed a relieved sigh.

“Okay, now she can sort of lie down on her side, with her neck resting on my knee. Wait, no here,” he instructed Fabrizio. He now would shear the wool from the side up towards Fjolla’s spine, first do one side and then the other until the wool could be peeled off completely. He had no choice, to get a good grip on the shears and to keep the skin taut at the same time, he had to work around her front leg, making it once more stick up in the air.

It seemed that this in particular was something Fjolla didn’t like, as she now struggled a little.

“Beh.  _ Beh _ .”

Where Fabrizio had first only chuckled at Fjolla’s bleating, he now started laughing.

“Beh. Beeeh.”

Every sound Fjolla made, made Fabrizio laugh harder. Ermal now paused, as Fabrizio’s shaking didn’t help him to be sure he wouldn’t accidentally cut Fjolla’s skin with the shears.

“Beehh.”

Fabrizio’s laughing was starting to turn into a fit where he just couldn’t stop, and the sound was contagious. Soon they were both laughing, Fabrizio leaning on Ermal’s shoulder to keep his balance. 

“Beh,” Fjolla still occasionally added to the mix, now feeling a bit neglected and still lying in that position she didn’t choose herself.

Every time she bleated, the two men went off in another fit of laughter.

“Please, don’t let her go now, Bizio,” Ermal choked out between laughs. He could imagine what a nightmare it would be to get Fjolla to agree to the rest of this treatment once she got away.

Fabrizio didn’t reply, he just tried to catch his breath so they could continue. He almost succeeded, were it not for the “Beh” Fjolla then bleated. That set him off into another fit of giggles.

“Shh, Fjolla. If you’re quiet now, we can continue. It will be over soon,” Ermal softly said to the sheep, petting her face in the hope of calming her down long enough for Fabrizio to compose himself.

Eventually, he did, and Ermal could continue shearing. He tried to get past Fjolla’s spine, so the other side would be easier and the job would be done soon. There were a few more “Beh”s when Ermal reached Fjolla’s back leg and her tail, but luckily, Fabrizio managed to control himself and keep from bursting out laughing again.

They switched Fjolla to her other side, and Ermal continued shearing carefully. Here, they were joined by two children, who looked for a while at what was going on, but then Libero came to the point.

“Papa, we’re hungry.”

Ermal glanced at the sky, to see the sun at a much higher point than he expected. No wonder Fjolla was protesting, this was taking ages.

“We have to finish this first,” Fabrizio answered his son, “Do you think you can make some sandwiches for you and Anita? You know where to find bread and cheese, and I think there’s jam too. And you can take some fruit if you want to.”

Libero nodded, and after grabbing Anita’s hand, walked back to the house.

“I hadn’t realized it was that late already!” Ermal said, as he let the shears go through the wool.

“We’re almost done now.”

And indeed, it didn’t take long for Ermal to sever the last strands of the coat of wool that remained connected to Fjolla. He trimmed a few of the longer bits of coat he had left on Fjolla - his was by no means the neat, even result that he had as an example two years ago, but well, he could only practice once a year, not with a whole flock of sheep. And more importantly, it was done! He wouldn’t have to attempt shearing Fjolla for another year!

They slowly let up Fjolla, who once shook her now much thinner coat, let out one more “Beh”, before trotting off, looking for a long overdue breakfast.

Fabrizio and Ermal watched her go, both chuckling.

“Thank you for your help, you made it a lot easier to get it done!” Ermal told Fabrizio. He then gathered the wool and put it in a loose stack in one of the sheds. It would dry there, until Dino and Andrea came and could take it to the town to be washed, combed, and spun into yarn.

On their way to the house, Ermal drew some water by the pump, enough so that he and Fabrizio could both rigorously wash the wool grease off their skin, insofar it hadn’t been absorbed yet, and also the smell of sheep. After a change of clothes, it was then time for a late lunch, their stomachs rumbling to make them aware of the delay. 

They then spent time with Libero and Anita, who definitely deserved the attention after the time they’d had to fend for themselves. The hours went swiftly by until it was time for dinner. Ermal enjoyed the lazy afternoon, lounging around the house, playing games with Libero and Anita. He’d earned it, shearing Fjolla was a task big enough to fill a day.

After dinner, Libero asked for another round of the dice game they’d been playing, and that made the time pass quickly, until Libero and Anita had to go to bed. Ermal quickly tidied the kitchen a bit, as he waited for Fabrizio to come down from the loft again. 

Despite washing earlier, there still was a persistent smell of sheep around him. He sniffed and shook his head, making his curls bounce. Ugh, there it was.

“What’s wrong?” Fabrizio appeared next to him.

“My hair smells like sheep,” Ermal sighed. “I should have taken the trouble of drawing a bath.”

“Your hair looks like sheep too,” Fabrizio said, smiling. He then lifted his hand, and ruffled through Ermal’s curls.

Ermal stilled, surprised. He expected to feel the usual dislike to have his hair touched by others, but actually, this was quite nice.

He felt Fabrizio’s eyes on him and put an answering smile on his lips.

“Behh,” he said, in his best imitation of Fjolla. He was rewarded with Fabrizio’s chuckle, and continued more seriously, “Thank you for your help today. Together we managed to be stronger than a sheep.”

“Quite some sheep, though,” Fabrizio answered, extracting his fingers from Ermal’s curls. Ermal tried not to miss them.

“Quite some sheep, indeed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter comes to you based on the youtube video I watched four times on a train to figure out how to shear a sheep. Check out here how the pros do it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1iS0IiIcoAU  
> Thank you for reading!


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life on the island continues, and it looks like Ermal's guests finally found their place. Or are these appearances deceptive?

It was nice to see how comfortable Fabrizio had grown on the island, in the house. Of course, he had never been sitting around, expected to be waited on. From when he first could get up, he had done dishes and helped out. Now that he had been there for a while, there was another dimension of comfort to it. He would see what needed to be done, and do it, sometimes informing Ermal, but not asking permission. He did laundry, hanging it outside when the weather allowed it, and taking it back in, folding the clothes and putting them in the chests where they belonged. He took the broom and swept the floor to clear away the crumbs from mealtimes, or the sand when Libero and Anita's playing had taken it inside and spread it all around. Besides all that, he generally cooked, taking ingredients from the stores, and calling the others to the table to enjoy the finished meal.

Ermal marvelled at how easy it made everything, having someone else to share the chores with. Of course, he was still solely responsible for the light, but Fabrizio was such a help in the general running of the household. There was a shift in his occupations, and even though spring was usually the busiest time, Ermal found himself with more free time than he could recall having before.

While Fabrizio and the children were outside, somewhere on the island, Ermal took the dry laundry that Fabrizio had done earlier of its lines, sorting through the clothes to see what went where, and what would need ironing. He usually didn't bother with it on his own, but as his mother had told him, it was true that ironed clothes just felt a little nicer and more luxurious to wear. You got out the effort you put in. And besides, now with Fabrizio and the children here, he was more inclined to take some time to quickly get the creases out of their clothes. He wanted to make them feel at home and cared for.

Ermal whistled as he let the iron slide over the clothes, pulling gently on the fabric to get the creases out. He folded the items, and put them on neat piles. He put them away, first the ones in his bedroom, then the ones for the children.

Somehow balancing the pile on his arms, he made it up the ladder. Once up the loft, he found that Libero wasn't outside as he had thought, but on his bed, playing quietly.

"Oh, Libero, I didn't know you were here. I didn't mean to disturb you. I'll just quickly put the clothes away, and then leave you be," Ermal told him, not wanting to interrupt if the boy wanted to be alone.

Libero shook his head, sitting up, patting the blankets in front of him.

"You'd like me to stay?" Ermal verified, and when he got a nod, he sat down carefully.

In Libero's arms was a stuffed animal, an old rabbit that Ermal remembered seeing when unpacking the crates. The rabbit had definitely seen better days, and there had been other stuffed toys too. He wondered about Libero choosing this one over nicer, newer ones.

"Do you like rabbits?" he asked gently, filling the silence in the room.

Libero nodded. "I had a stuffed bunny before. I had to leave it when... I had to leave it behind."

Ermal swallowed. While he was glad Libero was talking, he wasn't sure if this was a conversation he was ready for - with Fabrizio these topics had been hard, how much harder would it be with Libero?

Luckily, Libero seemed comfortable and in a surprisingly talkative mood, and moved the topic away from those questions now occupying Ermal's mind.

"I got it from my mama when she was expecting Anita. It didn't look like this one, though. It had no legs, just small feet, the ears were bigger, and it had a green body, like it was wearing a shirt."

This was by far the longest speech Ermal had heard Libero make, and unprompted too, but even as it filled him with hope and joy, he knew he shouldn't put the focus on it. Better keep the conversation going.

"That sounds really nice. I'm sorry you had to leave it. Do you miss it a lot?"

Libero nodded, and seemed lost in thought for a second. Ermal waited patiently to see if he would talk again.

"I do. I do, cause it was the last thing mama gave me, because then she died when Anita was born. But at least I found another rabbit now. It's not quite the same, but it helps me remember what mama was like."

"I'm glad it does," Ermal said a bit absentmindedly, his thoughts running a mile a minute. 

So Fabrizio's wife had died in childbirth! Of course it was tragic in itself, but right now Ermal was glad his fear that she might have passed away much more recently was unfounded. It was a small mercy that Libero and Anita didn't have to come to terms with the loss of a parent as well as with that of their home and all they'd ever known. Anita had never known otherwise and for Libero it was an older ache. And for Fabrizio's sake too, Ermal was glad that he hadn't lost her in the storm or the attack on the village. He was already carrying so much pain and guilt, he didn't deserve to blame himself for not being a good husband and taking care of his wife, leaving her behind in a doomed village.

"Look, he's a bit broken," Libero said, making Ermal emerge from his thoughts. He took a second to switch back to the situation at hand, Libero and a stuffed rabbit, which was, apparently, a bit broken. And yes, Libero pointed at the rabbit's body, the fabric of which had once been torn and mended, the scar of it clearly visible and the thread threatening to come undone at too much movement.

"I asked papa if he could fix it, but he said he wasn't sure. It might get worse when he tries, so he said I should just be careful. Which I will, cause I don't want him to be broken!" He clutched the rabbit to his chest for a second, and he looked so much younger than he was.

"I'm sure you'll take good care of him," Ermal told him, "And I'm sure he'll appreciate it a lot, such a loving owner."

He smiled, and Libero nodded, smiling too.

"Papa said it's really nice of people we don't know to help us by sending us all these things, and he asked if Anita and I could make a drawing to thank them. Do you think we could?"

Ermal's heart softened. "Of course you could. They would like that a lot, to receive drawings from you! Dino and Andrea will come in a few days, we can give them to them then, okay? They will show your drawings to the whole town, and make sure that everyone who helped know that it's appreciated."

Libero nodded again, and Ermal waited if he would speak again, but he stayed quiet, so Ermal continued.

"And you know what? Besides a drawing, you could also write a letter. You know all letters already, and a lot of words!"

Libero mulled this over for a second.

"Do you think I could?"

"I'm sure you can."

Libero smiled proudly at Ermal's statement. "But you will help me?"

"Of course I will."

"That would be nice."

At that, Ermal left Libero, and climbed down the ladder again. He found Fabrizio slowly starting the preparations for dinner, while Anita sat at the table close to him, playing. She had some water and some vegetables in front of her, as well as a small pot.

“I see we have a new cook today,” Ermal smiled as he approached her. “Do you need any help, Madam?”

“You can stir the soup!” Anita ordered, and Ermal complied readily, catching Fabrizio’s eyes with an indulgent smile on his face. “Lost your job, have you?”

“I’ll think I’ll step in anyway, before all we eat is a cold watery soup – that I am sure is absolutely lovely!” Fabrizio added quickly, when he saw his daughter’s indignant look directed at him.

Ermal managed to divide his attention between helping both Anita and Fabrizio. When Fabrizio’s damping pots arrived on the table, even Anita admitted it was a better choice than her ‘soup’, and put her creation aside.

After dinner the evening promised to be a quiet one – at least until Anita voiced the wish that she’d like to hear Ermal play his accordion again, remembering the story he had told.

“You haven’t played again since then, and it’s been so long ago! I want to dance again!”

So Ermal took out the instrument and with the rocking chair pushed aside, there even was space enough to dance properly. He played song after song, until finally the children grew tired, having used up all their pent up energy. Then he turned to slower songs, calmer songs, until he switched to lullabies.

Fabrizio took the children up to the loft and put them to bed, before joining Ermal again downstairs, making some tea for them.

Ermal sat at the table, where he had the best light, finishing his sock. He had just a few more plain rows of ribbing to do before casting off. Fabrizio had taken a seat close to him in the rocking chair, moving slowly back and forth, nursing a cup of tea in his hands. 

Ermal pulled the loose thread through the last stitch and let it slide off his needle. Quickly, he wove the end into the inside of the fabric where it would be secure. For a second, he admired his handiwork. The pattern had been a complicated one, and it had taken him longer to complete than he had imagined, especially with all the recent distractions. At least the first sock had been finished before Fabrizio’s boat had landed on his shores.

After pulling the sock into shape, he flung it at Fabrizio, landing neatly in his lap. It was mostly a check to see if Fabrizio was still awake, or if he had dozed off in the comfortable room. 

Fabrizio was in fact still awake, and shot a look at Ermal, who innocently gathered his supplies to put them back in the basket where they belonged.

“What was the point of that?” Fabrizio asked, though he didn’t sound surprised at Ermal’s antics.

“What do you think of it?” Ermal asked, digging through the basket, looking for the sock’s lonesome counterpart.

“Getting bombarded by random items?”

“The sock.” Ermal smiled into the basket as he answered.

“It’s pretty. A lot of skill went into this. A lot of work.”

“So you like it?” Ermal asked again, still not quite getting to his point.

“Yes, I like it. Why?”

As an answer, Ermal threw the now found second sock in Fabrizio’s direction. “Meet your new possessions then.”

Ermal grinned at Fabrizio, who looked back at him.

“Are you sure? Don’t you want them yourself? This must have taken weeks!”

“You can have them, really! I had lots of weeks to spare. I’ve got a lot of socks,” Ermal smiled. He did. He had more socks than he knew what to do with, especially because his grandmother was also fond of adding them to her envelopes.

Fabrizio nodded, folding the socks together so he wouldn’t lose one of them. “Thank you.”

Meanwhile, Ermal dug through another basket to find what he was looking for. An idea had been playing through his head, since he’d been talking to Libero earlier. Finally, he emerged with two balls of yarn in different shades of green. He got up and leaned against the table, facing Fabrizio.

“Bizio?” 

The nickname had slipped out of Ermal’s mind onto his tongue before already, and it hadn’t seemed its referent minded the shortened version of his name. So who was Ermal to stop himself?

“Hmm?” Fabrizio asked, looking up at Ermal questioningly.

“Earlier today, I was talking to Libero, and he told me about the stuffed toy he had, before. It had some green clothes, he said. And I thought I could make the old tattered rabbit he has now a little sweater… Which green would be more like the old one?”

At the end of his speech, Ermal bit his lip, under Fabrizio’s heavy gaze suddenly a bit insecure of his idea. It was hard to read the emotion in Fabrizio’s expression, impossible to guess his thoughts.

“That one,” he finally said, pointing at one of the skeins. “I think it’s almost the same shade.” He paused for a second. “You don’t have to do this, you know.”

Ermal stilled in his movements, his mind suddenly filling in what Fabrizio might be thinking of this. “You don’t think it’s a good idea? I mean, I can -”

“I think it’s a lovely idea.” Fabrizio’s voice was so, so soft. “But you’re doing so much already. You don’t have to do more. We’re already so indebted to you.”

At that, Ermal shook his head, his curls bouncing wildly through the air. “No. There is no debt. Fabrizio, there is none. Helping you, I do my job as keeper of the lighthouse, I do my duty as a human. Of course, those are the facts, and there might be a debt tied to that. But I do it not because it is my job, or my duty. I  _ want _ to help you, I do it with pleasure. And already, every day you repay me with your help on the island in return. Every day you repay me with your company, and it is enough. There is no debt.” Ermal took a breath. “And in this case, I enjoy the knitting. And if I with just an evening’s effort can make Libero feel like he lost a little less than he did, I’d gladly do it.”

He fell silent, and waited for an answer, but it didn’t come. Fabrizio seemed lost in thoughts.

“But if you rather had I don’t, I won’t,” Ermal added quietly, putting the ball of yarn in his hands down on the table. 

It took a few more seconds for Fabrizio’s reply. “No, of course not, it’s alright. It really is a kind gesture.” He smiled at Ermal, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. Something was still bothering him. So Ermal stood there, waiting.

“Really, Libero will love it,” Fabrizio added encouragingly, and finally Ermal moved, going along with his plan. 

He had the yarn he needed, and got some bigger needles. He sat down again at the table, and started casting on stitches before starting a quick flat ribbing to prevent the fabric from curling up. It was fast going, with the bigger sized needles, and not the fiddly pattern of the socks.

Fabrizio’s eyes were on him now. 

“How do you know the size?” he asked, watching Ermal’s progress.

“I’m just guessing. I wanted to make two squares and sew them together. It’s all quick and simple, it should fit more or less.”

“Would it help to have the rabbit? I know Libero just keeps it next to his bed, he’s afraid it will break if he sleeps with it close. I can just go up and quietly get it for you to take some measurements,” Fabrizio suggested.

“That would be great! At least it would make for a better fit.”

Fabrizio nodded and got up, climbing up the ladder as silently as he could, so as not to wake the children. It took longer for him to return than Ermal had thought, and when he did, Fabrizio just handed him Libero’s rabbit, and moved to the kitchen to get a glass of water.

“Anita can’t sleep,” he explained quickly, before pulling himself up the ladder again, balancing the glass to keep it from spilling.

Ermal could hear the soft murmur of their whispered voices as they tried not to wake Libero. He turned his attention back to the project he’d started. He took some crude measurements of the toy and fleshed out the design of this sweater in his mind. Fabrizio came down again a little later. He put the glass down on the counter, and then climbed up the ladder one more time to return the rabbit, now that Ermal had finished his measurements.

“I’m going to bed,” he announced a minute later, when he stood next to the table again, his voice strangely flat, and he wasn’t meeting Ermal’s eyes. Before Ermal could do so much as react, Fabrizio had already crossed the room and closed the bedroom door behind him. Ermal blinked at it.

Something was wrong, something more than what was bothering Fabrizio before.

He weighed the options in his mind for a second. Should he give Fabrizio space or talk to him about what was going on? Eventually he decided, and soundlessly slid his chair backwards. He padded over to the bedroom door, opening it slowly. Inside, he found Fabrizio in the flickering light of a candle, sitting on the side of the bed, his head buried in his hands.

Ermal swallowed before he took another step and crossed the threshold, and shut the door softly behind him.

“Fabrizio? What is wrong?”

Fabrizio didn't answer, or even look up.

"Fabrizio? Maybe I can help," Ermal tried again, softly, encouragingly, waiting for an answer.

"Yes, of course  _ you _ can help! You would know exactly what to do!  _ You _ never would have let it get this far!"

Fabrizio lifted his head now, his eyes fixed on Ermal, blazing and bright with emotion in the candle's light.

Ermal had taken a step back at Fabrizio's outburst, and now stood there leaning against the bedroom door, a bit taken aback. What had happened that made Fabrizio this upset? What had  _ he _ done to make Fabrizio turn on him like this?

"Fabri?" Ermal tried carefully one more time, though he felt it was futile. He didn’t think Fabrizio wanted his help at all, right now.

"Just go, Ermal," Fabrizio said after taking a deep breath, his voice quieter now. "Just leave me for a bit."

Ermal did the only thing he could. He nodded, and silently left the room, clicking the door shut behind him.

Thoughts were starting to spin through his head as he turned back to the little green sweater, his attention more captured by what had just happened than by the knitting in his hands.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ermal's mind is full with thoughts on what might be going on with Fabrizio. Maybe he will get answers soon?

Ermal didn’t fall asleep.

He had finished the little sweater slower than he had expected for such a relatively simple work. His excuse could only be the thoughts spinning through his mind. Eventually he had finished the sweater, and he’d put it quietly with Fabrizio’s things in the bedroom.

This sweater was at least a part of what was bothering Fabrizio, though Ermal didn’t know exactly how. Still, he wasn’t going to force the issue by insisting Libero would get it right the next morning. It would be better if Fabrizio would take it, and would have a chance to change his mind if he didn’t want it, no matter his earlier words.

Then, Ermal had laid himself down on the bed, wrapped up in the blankets, and blew out the candle, casting the room in darkness. Fabrizio was next to him, asleep, or pretending to be, Ermal wasn’t completely sure. He closed his eyes as well, and waited for sleep to come.

It didn’t.

His thoughts kept running in the same circles they had done all evening. What was bothering Fabrizio? His change of mood seemed to have come out of nowhere – no, not nowhere. The sweater. An increasing debt to be repaid… But it had taken a more personal note, it seemed to Ermal, with Fabrizio’s words before Ermal left him in the bedroom.

Were it his endless offerings of help? His questions for information on what had happened, on how Fabrizio felt, on what he was thinking? Was it how he kept poking his nose in affairs that were not his own? Was he interfering too much?

He just wanted to help so badly. He wanted to make everything this family had been through a little easier to bear. He knew he could do so little, he wanted to do that what he could. But maybe it was still too much, no matter how little or inconsequential the things he did. Maybe, to Fabrizio, they all kept adding up, little by little, and he saw them as favours to be returned. Ermal could see how that might worry the man, because what would he repay even the smallest gesture with? He did not have anything. Almost everything he owned, including the pair of socks he had so recently acquired, was given to him by Ermal, or people connected to Ermal.

He could back off a little. He could suppress that instinct to help, to do, to take action. The last thing Ermal wanted was to drive Fabrizio away with good intentions. He could just let the days pass as they had, let Fabrizio do his share of work, don’t add to the things that were  _ given _ , but make them borrowed for the time being, stop demanding answers and explanations. He could give Fabrizio more space. He could do that.

With these resolutions swirling through his mind, Ermal finally fell asleep, at a time that could better be described by ‘early’ than ‘late’. Of course, that had one important consequence. He woke up at a time that was better described by ‘late’ than ‘early’.

The first thing he noticed, when he finally woke up, was that the bed next to him was empty. Usually, he was the first to wake up from the two of them, and left Fabrizio sleeping or dozing for a while longer while he tended to the light. But maybe Fabrizio had woken up and as it was morning – early, but morning – he had decided to get up, and take some time alone.

That explanation made perfect sense, until Ermal noticed something else that was different from the usual morning. The light that slanted in through the window was brighter than what it should be this time of day. The angle of it, too, was different, sloping in such a way that suggested the sun was higher in the sky than it should be at this hour.

It took a lot longer than it should have, to put those observations together and reach the only true conclusion. He had overslept.

He had never overslept. Or, not by this much, he figured, as he rushed to throw on an extra sweater and some slippers, and barely stopped to check the time. He had to turn off the light, he shouldn’t waste the oil, he had to note down the weather, he had to do everything!

Except, as he blundered out of the bedroom and up the tower’s stairs, he became aware of voices giving away the presence of people in his office.

“What else do you remember Ermal writes down?” Fabrizio’s voice asked softly, and both Anita and Libero replied to the question. Ermal paused on the stairs, listening.

“So this is all?”

“Did you write down the numbers correctly, Lib?”

“Let’s go downstairs and make breakfast. I’m sure Ermal will wake up soon.”

That spurred Ermal into action. He had heard enough to know that Fabrizio and the children had done their best to do his administration the way it should, and after showing Anita and Libero what he did, he was sure it would be good enough to recover the details and write down a proper report. Right now, he just needed to get back into bed as quickly as he could, and not ruin their sweet surprise.

He made it, more or less. His heart was beating loudly from the sudden dash he’d made and he was still wearing his socks, but by the time Ermal heard the kitchen cupboards being opened and the table set, he was back under the covers, ready to pretend to be still asleep.

He listened to the sounds coming muffled through the wall. What should he do? Should he stay in bed a little longer to give them time to finish the breakfast preparations? Should he get up and act out his dismay at oversleeping and leaving the light on too long?

The choice was taken out of his hands by the door swinging open. Quickly, Ermal closed his eyes, feigning sleep. Libero and Anita came into the room, he could hear their footsteps on the floorboards, approaching quickly. Anita giggled, and then the two of them jumped on the bed.

Ermal didn't have to fake his surprise at the sudden shock of the two children piling on top of him, and he spluttered as he 'woke up'.

"What...!" he managed, scrambling up against the headboard.

"You are a sleepyhead," Anita singsonged, and Libero just chuckled.

"I'm a... Wait, what time is it? It is light outside! Did I sleep this long?"

Both children nodded, and Ermal attempted to carefully push them aside. He had an act to keep up.

"The light! I need to turn off the light!" He swung his legs over the side of the bed, hoping no one would notice his socks, and reached for his sweater in mock urgency.

"No, you need to have breakfast!" Anita instructed, and Libero clarified, "We already turned off the light! And I wrote down the numbers of the air pressure!"

"You turned off the light?" Ermal repeated, looking between the two children.

"Yes, you were still asleep. You're a sleepyhead," Anita repeated her earlier verdict, and now pulled on his arm to get him to the table. "We're hungry!"

Ermal complied, and let him be dragged to the kitchen, settling in a chair as he watched Fabrizio complete the last preparations.

"Thank you for taking care of the light," he told them, when they were all sitting down. "I've never overslept this badly, but there is no harm done, because you did everything already!"

His eyes roamed over the family, settling on Fabrizio. Whatever it was that had bothered him last night seemed to be less haunting in the light of day, for he smiled at Ermal, his eyes soft and a little apologetic. Ermal just nodded, hoping that would convey his gratitude. He hadn't been lying when he had told Fabrizio he was repaying him already, here was a great example of that.

“You still have to write everything down in the big book,” Libero told him, “I didn’t think my writing is good enough yet, so I did it in some spare paper.”

The meal was eaten in companionable silence, and afterwards Libero went out to feed the chickens, while Fabrizio helped Anita take care of Fjolla. Ermal went upstairs and first made sure the light was all in order as it should be. He moved on to his desk then, and found the notes written by Libero that morning. They were quite legible, and it was clear how much effort the boy had put into his serious task. All the information he needed was there, and Ermal was so proud of his three guests.

The day passed swiftly, between chores and games, and as the air pressure levels so carefully copied down by Libero had suggested, the weather turned to rain in the late afternoon. It came with gusts of wind and a remarkable sudden drop in temperature. Ermal rushed through his outside tasks, getting more coal and food supplies and tending to the animals.

The living room turned warm and cozy as darkness fell, and so was the atmosphere between the four of them. As they sat together, Ermal wondered about it. It wasn’t that it didn’t feel genuine, or that it didn’t feel right. It did, it felt like any other night they had spent together like this, and that made him pause. 

After last night, shouldn’t it be different? He was glad there was no trace of Fabrizio’s despair and dark thoughts, of course he was, but he had expected there to be at least some consequences following it. But there was nothing. Fabrizio was his usual self, he was the man Ermal had become familiar with in the past weeks, and it didn’t quite fit with his behaviour from last night.

So Ermal wondered, wondered about what Fabrizio was thinking, about what was weighing on his mind, about what his own position exactly was relative to this family. What Ermal had thought at least a part of the problem, his sweater, was apparently not such a problem after all. When it was time for the children to go to bed, Fabrizio beckoned Libero close.

“I have something for you. Ermal thought of it,” he said, with a look and a sweet smile directed at Ermal, before looking back at his son again. “Look, it’s for your rabbit.”

He handed Libero the small knitted sweater, and Libero started beaming. 

“It’s like the one I had before! Thank you! And thank you, Ermal,” he added shyly, peeking out from under Fabrizio’s arms he was wrapped up in. He then bounded up the ladder to try it on his toy. Fabrizio followed him, to tuck both his children into bed.

Ermal waited a little tense for him to join him in the living room again. He remembered how things had gone downhill from there, last night. But this time, apparently, he did not have to have such worries. Fabrizio came down the ladder, landing with a bounce on the wooden floor. He sat down again, and picked up the thread of conversation they had left lying around before the children went to sleep. Ermal joined him, slowly relaxing, keeping the questions locked in his head. He wasn't going to ask, he was going to show Fabrizio that he could get the space he needed. In this way, they stayed, until also Ermal, despite his late morning, thought it was time to go to sleep.

The next morning started like the previous day had ended, still with the rain falling down and no space for the sun. After breakfast, the reading lesson turned into the promised letter-writing session. Ermal sat between Libero and Anita, and while the latter drew on the paper - a lighthouse, with a sheep in front - Ermal helped Libero to formulate his letter. He had been right, the boy could manage it for the most part alone. He looked to Ermal for help with the spelling, but after just some gentle prompting, knew the answers himself as well. Together, they first made a draft version, until Libero was happy with the text he had composed, and sat down to copy it neatly, a real letter, with a date at the top and his name at the bottom. In that time, Ermal entertained Anita, who had finished her drawing, and he now patiently showed her how to write her name again, and "thank you".

The rain didn't stop, and after sitting still for so long, it was clear that Libero and Anita had energy to spare that they couldn't quite burn off indoors. Both Fabrizio and Ermal were roped into a hide-and-seek session, one which the adults had no chance of winning. There were only so many places where an adult man could hide, and so many more that could conceal a determined child.

Only after Fabrizio had dashed through the rain to get ingredients for dinner and started cooking the weather started to improve. 

“Of course, now that the day is almost over,” Ermal sighed, leaning on the window sill, before turning back to the table he was setting.

It was after dinner, in just the earliest onset of twilight, the sun sinking low towards the waves, that Ermal found himself sitting on the beach, watching the waves roll gently onto the pebbles, just to be alone for a bit. With Fabrizio better and up and about, and the children more familiar with and comfortable to move around on the island, it was hard to get some time for himself. Not that he minded, he was glad that he could help them, and it was nice to have people around and not be alone all the time, but sometimes he just needed to be by himself, alone with his thoughts, especially after a day and a half being cooped up inside.

Right when he decided he should return to the house, the sun was really getting low now, and there were some chores to finish that would be much easier in the light, he heard steps on the pebbles behind him.

"Am I bothering you?" came Fabrizio’s voice from where he stopped, a few paces away.

Ermal shook his head, and Fabrizio went to sit down next to him. He waited for Fabrizio to speak - it seemed he had sought him out with a reason in mind, but it stayed quiet. There only was the rush of the waves and the screams of the sea gulls.

The longer the silence lasted, the more Ermal got the feeling that  _ he _ should say something. He wasn’t going to begin about what happened two nights ago, but there was something he realized he wanted Fabrizio to know. 

“Fabrizio?  I wanted to tell you something. I said Libero talked about his rabbit, but he also talked about his mother, and how she died.” His voice was quiet, his eyes firmly on the sea as he spoke. “I do not wish to cause you pain by bringing it up. I just wanted you to know that Libero told me. I’m sorry for your loss. And I wanted to say I am glad you didn't lose her the night of the storm,” he admitted.

For a second, Fabrizio didn’t respond. Then he said softly “Thank you.”

Ermal waited, but there was nothing more to come. They both sat in silence, staring ahead at the hypnotizing movement of the waves.

“I wanted to talk to you,” Fabrizio finally broke the silence. “And I thought I’d better do it before Dino and Andrea are back. In a way it also concerns them.”

Ermal’s breath came in a rushed exhale. Here it was. What could Fabrizio possibly have to say that concerned Dino and Andrea? He wanted to leave. He thought it was time for them to leave the island, and start building up their life again among people, in a village or town. Of course he did. Ermal had always known this was temporary.

“I am really grateful for all you have done for us. Taking us in, care for us, share your food, your house, your belongings. I appreciate it more than you can imagine. But now, I have to be honest.”

He paused for a breath, and Ermal braced himself for Fabrizio’s next words. Even though he’d known, it would still hurt to listen to it.

“I don’t know where to go next. We have nothing… No home, no belongings. No money. I do not know who could take us in while I try to build something for us. I have thought on it, but I just don’t know. There is no one I could ask such a favour of…”

Ermal’s heart was beating in his ears, almost drowning out Fabrizio’s words, and he almost allowed hope to bloom in his chest.

“You have no family?” The question escaped his lips without really thinking about it. He realized only after that it could sound like he wanted Fabrizio to go. But he didn’t, he really didn’t. But did this man really have no one in the world who would care about him?

Fabrizio was quiet for a minute, and Ermal almost bit his tongue. There was something in that silence, some history - another dark history. Another tragedy?

“Family… My parents, if they’re still alive. Siblings. But I can’t go back to them. There is nothing but burnt bridges.” Fabrizio’s tone was indecipherable, and Ermal didn’t want to pry.

"You have a boat you could cross the water with, " he suggested gently instead, his tone soft enough to hopefully tell Fabrizio he wasn't sending him away.

"I don't think it's enough. It's better like this. I haven't done well by my family. I shouldn't go back."

Ermal nodded, this was Fabrizio's decision. He waited for the man to continue with what he had planned to say, before Ermal had derailed him by asking sensitive questions.

"But then, moving, starting somewhere new, a place we don't know anyone..." Fabrizio sighed, and continued quietly. "I don't think I can do it again, not like this. Last time, I made it work somehow, and by the time Anita was born I was enough part of the community to call in some favours, have someone look after the children while I was at sea. Starting now, there would be no one. I would have to find a place when I have so little to offer in a village where everyone knows each other, while I have so much to ask for. It calls for an amount of bravery I do not have right now. Not yet. So that's why I wanted to ask you... Could we please stay longer?"

 As Fabrizio’s words were replaced by quiet, Ermal’s thoughts reeled. This was so much information to incorporate in the loose set of facts he had collected so far. There was so much unsaid. And there was Fabrizio’s question. He wanted to stay longer. He wanted to stay longer!

In Ermal’s silence, Fabrizio seemed to draw the wrong conclusions. "I know I'm asking for a lot, Ermal, but I honestly don't know where to go right now. All I'm asking for is a bit more time to figure it out."

“Of course you can stay! It - I’d be delighted if you stayed!” Ermal finally managed, now rushing to put Fabrizio’s doubts to rest.

"I will not ask for charity. I am asking for a place to stay. I will of course share in all the work I can. I'll make sure the children are well behaved, they won’t trouble you at all. If you agree, I could go out fishing, and add to the provisions so we'd need less, be less of a burden on the town staying longer. If I catch enough, we could cure the fish and send it to the mainland, as some form of payment - it's not much I have to offer, but I hope it can be enough."

“Of course it is enough! You’re welcome, Fabrizio, you and Libero and Anita. Really!”

Fabrizio still stared at the ocean, and Ermal wondered how he was going to convince him that he really was welcome to stay, that he did not have to give anything in return, that this did not add to any debt he felt he might owe Ermal. 

“Bizio, I’d love it if you’d all stay a little while longer,” he tried again, one more time, hoping at least to make Fabrizio look at him. Maybe the sincerity on his face would help. 

And Fabrizio did, look at him, his eyes catching the sun’s last rays and reflecting them. 

“Please believe me,” Ermal added, hardly more than a whisper, and finally Fabrizio nodded. Slowly, a little hesitantly, but he nodded nonetheless. 

“We can discuss it more tomorrow, and with Dino and Andrea when they come,” Ermal said, and then resolved to let the topic rest. It didn’t matter that much now anyway. Fabrizio would stay! Ermal would keep the company of him and the children for a while longer, that was what mattered. He couldn’t keep a smile from lighting up his face.

They sat together in silence  for some time, and slowly Ermal’s thoughts changed track. If Fabrizio was going to stay… He still wanted to know what he had done wrong to lead to Fabrizio’s outburst. He wanted to prevent something like that in the future, if he could, and he was getting nowhere by just guessing. But still, he had made up his mind that he would let it be. 

He wasn’t going to bring it up. He wasn’t going to ask. He wasn’t. 

Ermal buried his hands in the gravel next to him to distract himself from those thoughts, finding the cold damp of the rain water as he dug deeper.

It was in vain.

“Fabrizio? What happened, the night before last?”

He had asked. He had brought it up. All his good intentions of leaving Fabrizio be, of giving him space had come to nothing. Abruptly, Ermal pulled his hands up from the gravel, brushing at the sticking little stones, ready to take his words back. He shouldn’t have asked. Before he could say anything else, Fabrizio started speaking. 

“The night before last… I realized how much I’m failing my children.” 

“What? Of course you’re not failing them! Look how much -”

“I am. I know I am. Anita has trouble sleeping and Libero barely speaks. And yet I assumed they would be fine, that they could cope, that they can process everything by themselves. Of course they can’t. They’re so young, they can’t properly understand. Even I can’t, look at me.” He self-consciously rubbed at the dark spots underneath his eyes. “I am failing them. I should help them make sense of it all, of all the sudden changes. Every moment I’m not doing that, I am failing them. I see that now. And I will talk to them. It will be hard, but it needs to be done. From now on, I will be a better father for them.”

“But Fabri, of course you’re a good father -”

Once more Ermal was interrupted, once more he had no chance to complete his reassuring words.

“Ermal. It’s not just this. There’s the smaller things. There’s so much I haven’t been able to give them. Do you think I fail to see how Libero has enjoyed discovering the written world, books full of stories he can now explore by himself, finding out there is so much to learn? Do you think I will forget the wonder on Anita’s face when she tasted chocolate for the first time?”

He paused, and Ermal was quiet too. He hadn’t imagined his actions had made Fabrizio doubt himself so much. He had meant to help, to share, to teach, to distract… Never had he thought it would affect Fabrizio like this. That it would make him feel inadequate in some way, when it was him who was the children’s  _ father _ . He could do so much, he had so much to offer them, so much more than Ermal would ever be able to.

“And then, that night, with the sweater,” Fabrizio continued, interrupting Ermal’s thoughts. “When Libero came to me, worried about his rabbit breaking, I told him to be careful. Even though I knew what it means to him. Even though, as you pointed out, it would take only an evening, less, even, to come up with a solution. I might not have been able to knit it, but I could have made it from some other fabric, sewn it into something like the sweater you made. That’s what I should have done. Not tell him to be careful so he’s afraid to hug it close despite the comfort it would bring him.”

Ermal took a deep breath.

“I never meant…” he started to say, but faltered. He had never meant what? To criticize Fabrizio? To cause him to think badly? To go around his answer to Libero? “I just wanted to help,” he amended weakly.

Fabrizio sighed. “I know that. And I appreciate it. I really do. I just wish it wasn’t necessary, that none of it was necessary. I wish I could give them the world, everything they deserve, all by myself.”

There was a silence between them, as they sat there, looking out over the sea in front of them. The sun slowly sank to meet the water and sink behind the rising cliffs to the side of them.

“I’ll stay out here a bit longer,” Fabrizio eventually said softly, his gaze unfocused and aimed at the horizon. Ermal nodded once, and got up, the dismissal clear in Fabrizio’s words. He wanted to be alone for a bit, and who could blame him?


End file.
